How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

Key Takeaways

• Confidence is a performance choice: making specific physical and vocal decisions—like speaking at a volume of 5 on a 1–10 scale—can make you appear confident even when you feel nervous.
• Strategic pauses, rather than speaking slowly or filling gaps with filler words, signal authority and control; pausing at transitions and for emphasis makes you look like a 'boss.'
• Adopting a 'superhero stance'—open posture, good eye contact, a slight smile—immediately communicates confidence to an audience, regardless of your internal state.
• Practice with purpose by rehearsing out loud daily, layering in one new technique at a time, and running key sections repeatedly to build muscle memory and reduce anxiety.
• The 'silent sentence' is a crafted internal mantra (e.g., 'I want to help my audience to the best of my ability') that overrides self-critical thoughts and aligns your focus with your deeper purpose.
• Videoing yourself is a powerful but uncomfortable tool to verify that your confident-looking choices still feel authentic and to adjust before facing a live audience.