Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator | Tim Urban | TED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU
[00:12] So in college, I was a government major, which means I had to write a lot of papers.
[00:19] Now, when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this.
[00:23] So, you know --
[00:26] you get started maybe a little slowly, but you get enough done in the first week that, with some heavier days later on, everything gets done, things stay civil.
[00:35] And I would want to do that like that.
[00:38] That would be the plan.
[00:39] I would have it all ready to go, but then, actually, the paper would come along, and then I would kind of do this.
[00:48] And that would happen every single paper.
[00:51] But then came my 90-page senior thesis, a paper you're supposed to spend a year on.
[00:57] And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option.
[01:01] It was way too big a project.
[01:02] So I planned things out, and I decided I kind of had to go something like this.
[01:07] This is how the year would go.
[01:09] So I'd start off light, and I'd bump it up in the middle months,
[01:13] And then at the end, I would kick it up into high gear.
[01:16] Just like a little staircase.
[01:17] How hard could it be to walk up the stairs?
[01:20] No big deal, right?
[01:23] But then, the funniest thing happened.
[01:24] Those first few months?
[01:26] They came and went, and I couldn't quite do stuff.
[01:29] So we had an awesome new revised plan.
[01:35] But then those middle months actually went by, and I didn't really write words.
[01:40] And so we were here.
[01:43] And then two months turned into one month, which turned into two weeks.
[01:47] And one day I woke up with three days until the deadline, still not having written a word.
[01:55] And so I did the only thing I could.
[01:57] I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours, pulling not one but two all-nighters.
[02:02] Humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters.
[02:06] Sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion, and got it in just at the deadline.
[02:12] I thought that was the end of everything.
[02:14] But a week later I get a call, and it's the school.
[02:17] And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"
[02:19] And I say, "Yeah."
[02:20] And they say, "We need to talk about your thesis."
[02:23] And I say, "OK."
[02:25] And they say, "It's the best one we've ever seen."
[02:36] That did not happen.
[02:40] It was a very, very bad thesis.
[02:45] I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought, "This guy is amazing!"
[02:52] No, no, it was very, very bad.
[02:55] Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy.
[02:58] I write the blog Wait But Why.
[03:00] And a couple of years ago, I decided to write about procrastination.
[03:04] My behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinators around me, and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of the world what goes on in the heads of procrastinators, and why we are the way we are.
[03:14] Now, I had a hypothesis that the brains of procrastinators were actually different than the brains of other people.
[03:21] And to test this, I found an MRI lab that actually let me scan both my brain and the brain of a proven non-procrastinator, so I could compare them.
[03:30] I actually brought them here to show you today.
[03:32] I want you to take a look carefully to see if you can notice a difference.
[03:36] I know that if you're not a trained brain expert, it's not that obvious, but just take a look, OK?
[03:40] So here's the brain of a non-procrastinator.
[03:48] Now... here's my brain.
[03:55] There is a difference.
[03:57] Both brains have a Rational Decision-Maker in them, but the procrastinator's brain also has an Instant Gratification Monkey.
[04:05] Now, what does this mean for the procrastinator?
[04:07] Well, it means everything's fine until this happens.
[04:09] [This is a perfect time to get some work done.]
[04:09] [Nope!]
[04:12] So the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational decision
[04:15] To do something productive.
[04:17] But the Monkey doesn't like that plan.
[04:19] So he actually takes the wheel.
[04:20] And he says, "Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page of the Nancy Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal, because I just remembered that that happened.
[04:31] Then we're going to go over to the fridge, to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago.
[04:36] After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets and ends much, much later with us watching interviews with Justin Bieber's mom.
[04:49] "All of that's going to take a while, so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today.
[04:54] Sorry!"
[04:58] Now, what is going on here?
[05:03] The Instant Gratification Monkey does not seem like a guy you want behind the wheel.
[05:07] He lives entirely in the present moment.
[05:09] He has no memory of the past, no knowledge of the future, and he only cares about two things: easy and fun.
[05:16] Now, in the animal world, that works fine.
[05:19] If you're a dog and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and fun things, you're a huge success!
[05:25] (Laughter)
[05:27] And to the Monkey, humans are just another animal species.
[05:32] You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into the next generation, which in tribal times might have worked OK.
[05:38] But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in tribal times.
[05:41] We're in an advanced civilization, and the Monkey does not know what that is.
[05:46] Which is why we have another guy in our brain, the Rational Decision-Maker, who gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do.
[05:53] We can visualize the future.
[05:55] We can see the big picture.
[05:57] We can make long-term plans.
[05:58] And he wants to take all of that into account.
[06:02] And he wants to just have us do whatever makes sense to be doing right now.
[06:06] Now, sometimes it makes sense to be doing things that are easy and fun, like when you're having dinner or going to bed or enjoying well-earned leisure time.
[06:14] That's why there's an overlap.
[06:15] Sometimes they agree.
[06:17] But other times, it makes much more sense to be doing things that are harder and less pleasant, for the sake of the big picture.
[06:25] And that's when we have a conflict.
[06:28] And for the procrastinator, that conflict tends to end a certain way every time, leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone, an easy and fun place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle.
[06:40] I call it the Dark Playground.
[06:43] Now, the Dark Playground is a place that all of you procrastinators out there know very well.
[06:50] It's where leisure activities happen at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening.
[06:56] The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred -- all of those good procrastinator feelings.
[07:06] And the question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the wheel, how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here to this blue zone, a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen?
[07:17] Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel,
[07:22] Someone who's always looking down on him and watching over him in his darkest moments -- someone called the Panic Monster.
[07:34] Now, the Panic Monster is dormant most of the time, but he suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close or there's danger of public embarrassment, a career disaster or some other scary consequence.
[07:47] And importantly, he's the only thing the Monkey is terrified of.
[07:52] Now, he became very relevant in my life pretty recently, because the people of TED reached out to me about six months ago and invited me to do a TED Talk.
[08:07] Now, of course, I said yes.
[08:09] It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past.
[08:24] But in the middle of all this excitement, the Rational Decision-Maker seemed to have something else on his mind.
[08:29] He was saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted?
[08:32] Do we get what's going to be now happening one day in the future?
[08:35] We need to sit down and work on this right now."
[08:37] And the Monkey said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth and zoom in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground, and scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the country, so we can get a better feel for India."
[08:55] So that's what we did that day.
[09:00] As six months turned into four and then two and then one, the people of TED decided to release the speakers.
[09:07] And I opened up the website, and there was my face staring right back at me.
[09:11] And guess who woke up?
[09:17] So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind, and a few seconds later, the whole system's in mayhem.
[09:27] And the Monkey -- remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster -- boom, he's up the tree!
[09:31] And finally, finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can take the wheel and I can start working on the talk.
[09:37] Now, the Panic Monster explains all kinds of pretty insane procrastinator behavior, like how someone like me could spend two weeks unable to start the opening sentence of a paper, and then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic to stay up all night and write eight pages.
[09:56] And this entire situation, with the three characters -- this is the procrastinator's system.
[10:02] It's not pretty, but in the end, it works.
[10:05] This is what I decided to write about on the blog a couple of years ago.
[10:09] When I did, I was amazed by the response.
[10:12] Literally thousands of emails came in, from all different kinds of people from all over the world, doing all different kinds of things.
[10:19] These are people who were nurses, bankers, painters, engineers and lots and lots of PhD students.
[10:26] And they were all writing, saying the same thing:
[10:29] I have this problem too.
[10:31] But what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the post and the heaviness of these emails.
[10:37] These people were writing with intense frustration about what procrastination had done to their lives, about what this Monkey had done to them.
[10:46] And I thought about this, and I said, well, if the procrastinator's system works, then what's going on?
[10:53] Why are all of these people in such a dark place?
[10:55] Well, it turns out that there's two kinds of procrastination.
[11:00] Everything I've talked about today, the examples I've given, they all have deadlines.
[11:04] And when there's deadlines, the effects of procrastination are contained to the short term because the Panic Monster gets involved.
[11:10] But there's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline.
[11:14] So if you wanted a career where you're a self-starter -- something in the arts, something entrepreneurial -- there's no deadlines on those things at first, because nothing's happening, not until you've gone out and done the hard work to get momentum, get things going.
[11:27] There's also all kinds of important things outside of your career
[11:30] that don't involve any deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn't working.
[11:39] Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster, that's a problem, because in all of these non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn't show up.
[11:51] He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend outward forever.
[11:58] And it's this long-term kind of procrastination that's much less visible and much less talked about than the funnier, short-term deadline-based kind.
[12:06] It's usually suffered quietly and privately.
[12:10] And it can be the source of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness, and regrets.
[12:16] And I thought, that's why those people are emailing, and that's why they're in such a bad place.
[12:22] It's not that they're cramming for some project.
[12:24] It's that long-term procrastination has made them feel like a spectator, at times, in their own lives.
[12:30] The frustration is not that they couldn't achieve their dreams; it's that they weren't even able to start chasing them.
[12:36] So I read these emails and I had a little bit of an epiphany -- that I don't think non-procrastinators exist.
[12:46] That's right -- I think all of you are procrastinators.
[12:49] Now, you might not all be a mess, like some of us,
[12:54] and some of you may have a healthy relationship with deadlines, but remember: the Monkey's sneakiest trick is when the deadlines aren't there.
[13:03] Now, I want to show you one last thing.
[13:05] I call this a Life Calendar.
[13:08] That's one box for every week of a 90-year life.
[13:13] That's not that many boxes, especially since we've already used a bunch of those.
[13:18] So I think we need to all take a long, hard look at that calendar.
[13:25] We need to think about what we're really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating on something in life.
[13:32] We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey.
[13:37] That's a job for all of us.
[13:40] And because there's not that many boxes on there,
[13:43] it's a job that should probably start today.
[13:45] Well, maybe not today, but ...
[13:50] You know.
[13:51] Sometime soon.
[13:53] Thank you.
Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator | Tim Urban | TED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU
Translation: zh-CN
[00:12] So in college, I was a government major, which means I had to write a lot of papers.
所以上大学时，我主修政府专业，这意味着我必须写很多论文。
[00:19] Now, when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this.
现在，当一个普通学生写论文时，他们可能会像这样稍微分散一下工作。
[00:23] So, you know --
所以，你知道——
[00:26] you get started maybe a little slowly, but you get enough done in the first week that, with some heavier days later on, everything gets done, things stay civil.
你可能开始得有点慢，但在第一周你就能完成足够多的工作，以至于之后有些日子会比较辛苦，一切都能完成，事情也能保持井然有序。
[00:35] And I would want to do that like that.
我想像那样做。
[00:38] That would be the plan.
那将是计划。
[00:39] I would have it all ready to go, but then, actually, the paper would come along, and then I would kind of do this.
我会把它全部准备好，但实际上，论文来了之后，我就会这样做。
[00:48] And that would happen every single paper.
而且这种情况会发生在每一篇论文上。
[00:51] But then came my 90-page senior thesis, a paper you're supposed to spend a year on.
但接着是我的90页的毕业论文，这是一篇你应该花一年时间去写的论文。
[00:57] And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option.
我知道对于那样的论文，我平常的工作流程是不可行的。
[01:01] It was way too big a project.
那是一个太庞大的项目了。
[01:02] So I planned things out, and I decided I kind of had to go something like this.
所以我规划了一下，我决定我必须像这样进行。
[01:07] This is how the year would go.
这一年就会这样过去。
[01:09] So I'd start off light, and I'd bump it up in the middle months,
所以我开始时会轻松一些，然后在中间几个月会加大力度，
[01:13] And then at the end, I would kick it up into high gear.
然后到了最后，我会把它提到最高档。
[01:16] Just like a little staircase.
就像一个小小的楼梯。
[01:17] How hard could it be to walk up the stairs?
爬楼梯能有多难？
[01:20] No big deal, right?
没什么大不了的，对吧？
[01:23] But then, the funniest thing happened.
但是，接着发生了最有趣的事情。
[01:24] Those first few months?
最初的几个月？
[01:26] They came and went, and I couldn't quite do stuff.
它们来了又去了，我却做不成事情。
[01:29] So we had an awesome new revised plan.
所以我们有了一个很棒的新修订计划。
[01:35] But then those middle months actually went by, and I didn't really write words.
但是接着中间的几个月过去了，我并没有真正写东西。
[01:40] And so we were here.
所以我们就到了这里。
[01:43] And then two months turned into one month, which turned into two weeks.
然后两个月变成了一个月，又变成两周。
[01:47] And one day I woke up with three days until the deadline, still not having written a word.
有一天我醒来，离截止日期还有三天，仍然一个字没写。
[01:55] And so I did the only thing I could.
所以我做了我唯一能做的事情。
[01:57] I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours, pulling not one but two all-nighters.
我在72小时内写了90页，熬了不止一个通宵，而是两个通宵。
[02:02] Humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters.
人类不应该熬两个通宵。
[02:06] Sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion, and got it in just at the deadline.
冲过校园，慢动作跳跃，并在截止日期前提交了。
[02:12] I thought that was the end of everything.
我以为那就是一切的终结。
[02:14] But a week later I get a call, and it's the school.
但一周后我接到一个电话，是学校打来的。
[02:17] And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"
他们说：“这是蒂姆·厄本吗？”
[02:19] And I say, "Yeah."
我说：“是的。”
[02:20] And they say, "We need to talk about your thesis."
他们说：“我们需要谈谈你的论文。”
[02:23] And I say, "OK."
我说：“好的。”
[02:25] And they say, "It's the best one we've ever seen."
他们说：“这是我们见过的最好的。”
[02:36] That did not happen.
那件事并没有发生。
[02:40] It was a very, very bad thesis.
那是一篇非常非常糟糕的论文。
[02:45] I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought, "This guy is amazing!"
我只是想享受那一刻，当你们所有人都认为，“这家伙太棒了！”
[02:52] No, no, it was very, very bad.
不，不，那非常非常糟糕。
[02:55] Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy.
总之，今天我是一个作家兼博主。
[02:58] I write the blog Wait But Why.
我写博客 Wait But Why。
[03:00] And a couple of years ago, I decided to write about procrastination.
几年前，我决定写关于拖延症的文章。
[03:04] My behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinators around me, and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of the world what goes on in the heads of procrastinators, and why we are the way we are.
我的行为总是让周围不拖延的人感到困惑，我想向全世界的不拖延者解释拖延者头脑中在发生什么，以及我们为什么会这样。
[03:14] Now, I had a hypothesis that the brains of procrastinators were actually different than the brains of other people.
现在，我有一个假设，拖延症患者的大脑实际上与其他人不同。
[03:21] And to test this, I found an MRI lab that actually let me scan both my brain and the brain of a proven non-procrastinator, so I could compare them.
为了验证这一点，我找到了一家核磁共振实验室，他们允许我扫描我的大脑和一个公认的不拖延者的大脑，以便进行比较。
[03:30] I actually brought them here to show you today.
我今天把它们带到这里给你们看。
[03:32] I want you to take a look carefully to see if you can notice a difference.
我想让你们仔细看看，看看是否能注意到区别。
[03:36] I know that if you're not a trained brain expert, it's not that obvious, but just take a look, OK?
我知道，如果你不是受过训练的大脑专家，这并不明显，但还是看看吧，好吗？
[03:40] So here's the brain of a non-procrastinator.
所以，这是不拖延者的大脑。
[03:48] Now... here's my brain.
现在……这是我的大脑。
[03:55] There is a difference.
有区别。
[03:57] Both brains have a Rational Decision-Maker in them, but the procrastinator's brain also has an Instant Gratification Monkey.
两个大脑中都有一个理性决策者，但拖延症患者的大脑还有一个即时满足猴子。
[04:05] Now, what does this mean for the procrastinator?
那么，这对拖延症患者意味着什么？
[04:07] Well, it means everything's fine until this happens.
嗯，这意味着一切都还好，直到发生这种情况。
[04:09] [This is a perfect time to get some work done.]
【这是做一些工作的绝佳时机。】
[04:09] [Nope!]
【不行！】
[04:12] So the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational decision
所以理性决策者会做出理性的决定
[04:15] To do something productive.
做些有益的事情。
[04:17] But the Monkey doesn't like that plan.
但猴子不喜欢那个计划。
[04:19] So he actually takes the wheel.
所以他实际上掌管了方向盘。
[04:20] And he says, "Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page of the Nancy Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal, because I just remembered that that happened.
他说，“实际上，让我们来读一下南希·凯里根/托尼亚·哈丁丑闻的整个维基百科页面，因为我刚想起那件事发生过。”
[04:31] Then we're going to go over to the fridge, to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago.
然后我们要去冰箱那里看看，看看十分钟前有没有什么新东西。
[04:36] After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets and ends much, much later with us watching interviews with Justin Bieber's mom.
在那之后，我们将陷入一个YouTube的漩涡，开始时是理查德·费曼谈论磁铁的视频，而很久很久以后则以我们观看贾斯汀·比伯妈妈的采访结束。
[04:49] "All of that's going to take a while, so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today.
“这一切都需要一段时间，所以我们今天真的没有时间安排工作了。
[04:54] Sorry!"
抱歉！”
[04:58] Now, what is going on here?
现在，这是怎么回事？
[05:03] The Instant Gratification Monkey does not seem like a guy you want behind the wheel.
即时满足猴子似乎不是一个你想让他掌舵的人。
[05:07] He lives entirely in the present moment.
他完全活在当下。
[05:09] He has no memory of the past, no knowledge of the future, and he only cares about two things: easy and fun.
他对过去没有记忆，对未来没有了解，他只关心两件事：轻松和有趣。
[05:16] Now, in the animal world, that works fine.
现在，在动物世界里，那很好。
[05:19] If you're a dog and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and fun things, you're a huge success!
如果你是一只狗，你的一生都在做轻松有趣的事情，那你就是个巨大的成功！
[05:25] (Laughter)
（笑声）
[05:27] And to the Monkey, humans are just another animal species.
对猴子来说，人类只是另一种动物物种。
[05:32] You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into the next generation, which in tribal times might have worked OK.
你必须保持充足的睡眠，充足的食物，并繁衍后代，这在部落时代可能还可以。
[05:38] But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in tribal times.
但是，如果你没注意到，我们现在已经不是部落时代了。
[05:41] We're in an advanced civilization, and the Monkey does not know what that is.
我们处于一个发达的文明社会，而猴子不知道那是什么。
[05:46] Which is why we have another guy in our brain, the Rational Decision-Maker, who gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do.
这就是为什么我们的大脑里还有另一个家伙，理性的决策者，他赋予我们做其他动物做不到的事情的能力。
[05:53] We can visualize the future.
我们可以想象未来。
[05:55] We can see the big picture.
我们可以看到大局。
[05:57] We can make long-term plans.
我们可以制定长期计划。
[05:58] And he wants to take all of that into account.
他想把所有这些都考虑进去。
[06:02] And he wants to just have us do whatever makes sense to be doing right now.
他只是想让我们做当下最合理的事情。
[06:06] Now, sometimes it makes sense to be doing things that are easy and fun, like when you're having dinner or going to bed or enjoying well-earned leisure time.
现在，有时做一些轻松有趣的事情是有意义的，比如吃饭、睡觉或享受来之不易的休闲时光。
[06:14] That's why there's an overlap.
这就是为什么会有重叠。
[06:15] Sometimes they agree.
有时它们会达成一致。
[06:17] But other times, it makes much more sense to be doing things that are harder and less pleasant, for the sake of the big picture.
但其他时候，为了大局着想，做一些更困难、更不愉快的事情更有意义。
[06:25] And that's when we have a conflict.
而那时我们就会产生冲突。
[06:28] And for the procrastinator, that conflict tends to end a certain way every time, leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone, an easy and fun place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle.
而对于拖延者来说，这种冲突每次往往都会以某种方式结束，让他花费大量时间在这个橙色区域，这是一个轻松有趣的地方，完全不在“有意义”的圈子内。
[06:40] I call it the Dark Playground.
我称之为“黑暗游乐场”。
[06:43] Now, the Dark Playground is a place that all of you procrastinators out there know very well.
现在，“黑暗游乐场”是你们所有拖延者都非常熟悉的一个地方。
[06:50] It's where leisure activities happen at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening.
这是在不应该进行休闲活动的时候进行休闲活动的地方。
[06:56] The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred -- all of those good procrastinator feelings.
你在“黑暗游乐场”获得的乐趣实际上并不是真正的乐趣，因为它完全是无所得的，空气中弥漫着内疚、恐惧、焦虑、自恨——所有那些拖延者的负面情绪。
[07:06] And the question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the wheel, how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here to this blue zone, a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen?
问题是，在这种情况下，当“猴子”掌舵时，拖延者如何才能让自己来到这个蓝色区域，一个不那么愉快但却能发生真正重要事情的地方？
[07:17] Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel,
嗯，结果发现拖延者有一个守护天使，
[07:22] Someone who's always looking down on him and watching over him in his darkest moments -- someone called the Panic Monster.
一个总是在下方看着他、在他最黑暗的时刻关注着他的人——这个人叫做恐慌怪兽。
[07:34] Now, the Panic Monster is dormant most of the time, but he suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close or there's danger of public embarrassment, a career disaster or some other scary consequence.
现在，恐慌怪兽大部分时间都在沉睡，但只要有任何截止日期临近，或者有公开出丑的危险、职业生涯的灾难或其他可怕的后果，他就会突然醒来。
[07:47] And importantly, he's the only thing the Monkey is terrified of.
而且重要的是，他是猴子唯一害怕的东西。
[07:52] Now, he became very relevant in my life pretty recently, because the people of TED reached out to me about six months ago and invited me to do a TED Talk.
现在，他最近在我生活中变得非常重要，因为TED的人大约在六个月前联系了我，并邀请我做一个TED演讲。
[08:07] Now, of course, I said yes.
当然，我答应了。
[08:09] It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past.
过去，能做一个TED演讲一直是我的一大梦想。
[08:24] But in the middle of all this excitement, the Rational Decision-Maker seemed to have something else on his mind.
但在所有这些兴奋之中，理性决策者似乎有别的事情在想。
[08:29] He was saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted?
他说道：“我们清楚我们刚才接受了什么吗？
[08:32] Do we get what's going to be now happening one day in the future?
我们明白未来某一天将会发生什么吗？
[08:35] We need to sit down and work on this right now."
我们需要坐下来，现在就着手处理这件事。”
[08:37] And the Monkey said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth and zoom in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground, and scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the country, so we can get a better feel for India."
猴子说：“完全同意，但让我们打开谷歌地球，放大到印度南部，离地面约200英尺，然后向上滚动两个半小时，直到我们到达国家北部，这样我们就能更好地感受印度了。”
[08:55] So that's what we did that day.
所以那天我们就是这么做的。
[09:00] As six months turned into four and then two and then one, the people of TED decided to release the speakers.
随着六个月变成四个月，然后两个月，最后是一个月，TED的人们决定发布这些演讲者。
[09:07] And I opened up the website, and there was my face staring right back at me.
我打开了网站，我的脸正盯着我。
[09:11] And guess who woke up?
猜猜谁醒了？
[09:17] So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind, and a few seconds later, the whole system's in mayhem.
于是恐慌怪物开始失去理智，几秒钟后，整个系统陷入一片混乱。
[09:27] And the Monkey -- remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster -- boom, he's up the tree!
然后猴子——记住，他非常害怕恐慌怪兽——砰，他爬上树了！
[09:31] And finally, finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can take the wheel and I can start working on the talk.
最后，最后，理性的决策者可以掌控局面，我就可以开始准备演讲了。
[09:37] Now, the Panic Monster explains all kinds of pretty insane procrastinator behavior, like how someone like me could spend two weeks unable to start the opening sentence of a paper, and then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic to stay up all night and write eight pages.
现在，恐慌怪兽解释了各种非常疯狂的拖延行为，比如像我这样的人可能会花两周时间无法写一篇论文的开头句，然后又奇迹般地找到惊人的职业道德，熬夜写出八页内容。
[09:56] And this entire situation, with the three characters -- this is the procrastinator's system.
而整个这个情况，这三个角色——这就是拖延者的系统。
[10:02] It's not pretty, but in the end, it works.
它不好看，但最终是有效的。
[10:05] This is what I decided to write about on the blog a couple of years ago.
这就是几年前我决定在博客上写的内容。
[10:09] When I did, I was amazed by the response.
当我写了之后，我被回应惊呆了。
[10:12] Literally thousands of emails came in, from all different kinds of people from all over the world, doing all different kinds of things.
字面上说，成千上万的电子邮件涌入，来自世界各地各种各样的人，做着各种各样的事情。
[10:19] These are people who were nurses, bankers, painters, engineers and lots and lots of PhD students.
这些人有护士、银行家、画家、工程师，还有很多很多博士生。
[10:26] And they were all writing, saying the same thing:
他们都写道，说着同样的话：
[10:29] I have this problem too.
我也有这个问题。
[10:31] But what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the post and the heaviness of these emails.
但令我震惊的是，帖子轻松的语气与这些邮件的沉重之间的对比。
[10:37] These people were writing with intense frustration about what procrastination had done to their lives, about what this Monkey had done to them.
这些人写信时充满了强烈的沮丧，诉说着拖延对他们生活造成的伤害，以及这个“拖延怪兽”对他们造成的伤害。
[10:46] And I thought about this, and I said, well, if the procrastinator's system works, then what's going on?
我思考了一下，然后说，嗯，如果拖延者的系统有效，那到底是怎么回事？
[10:53] Why are all of these people in such a dark place?
为什么所有这些人都在如此黑暗的境地里？
[10:55] Well, it turns out that there's two kinds of procrastination.
嗯，原来拖延有两种。
[11:00] Everything I've talked about today, the examples I've given, they all have deadlines.
我今天讲的所有内容，我给出的例子，它们都有截止日期。
[11:04] And when there's deadlines, the effects of procrastination are contained to the short term because the Panic Monster gets involved.
当有截止日期时，拖延的影响会局限于短期，因为“恐慌怪兽”会介入。
[11:10] But there's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline.
但还有第二种拖延，发生在没有截止日期的情况下。
[11:14] So if you wanted a career where you're a self-starter -- something in the arts, something entrepreneurial -- there's no deadlines on those things at first, because nothing's happening, not until you've gone out and done the hard work to get momentum, get things going.
所以，如果你想从事一份需要你自发主动的职业——比如艺术领域，或者创业——一开始这些事情是没有截止日期的，因为什么都不会发生，直到你付出了艰苦的努力来获得动力，让事情开始运转。
[11:27] There's also all kinds of important things outside of your career
在你的职业生涯之外，还有各种各样重要的事情。
[11:30] that don't involve any deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn't working.
那不涉及任何最后期限，比如看望家人、锻炼身体、照顾好自己的健康、经营感情或者结束一段不合适的感情。
[11:39] Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster, that's a problem, because in all of these non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn't show up.
现在，如果拖延症患者做这些困难事情的唯一机制是恐慌怪兽，那就会有问题，因为在所有这些没有最后期限的情况下，恐慌怪兽都不会出现。
[11:51] He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend outward forever.
它没有什么可以唤醒的，所以拖延症的影响不会被遏制；它们只会无限地向外延伸。
[11:58] And it's this long-term kind of procrastination that's much less visible and much less talked about than the funnier, short-term deadline-based kind.
而正是这种长期的拖延，比那种更有趣的、短期的、基于最后期限的拖延，更不显眼，也更少被谈论。
[12:06] It's usually suffered quietly and privately.
它通常是默默地、私下里承受的。
[12:10] And it can be the source of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness, and regrets.
它可能是造成大量长期不快乐和遗憾的根源。
[12:16] And I thought, that's why those people are emailing, and that's why they're in such a bad place.
我想，这就是为什么那些人会发邮件，这就是为什么他们会处于如此糟糕的境地。
[12:22] It's not that they're cramming for some project.
并不是因为他们在为一个项目赶工。
[12:24] It's that long-term procrastination has made them feel like a spectator, at times, in their own lives.
而是长期的拖延让他们有时感觉自己像是自己生活的旁观者。
[12:30] The frustration is not that they couldn't achieve their dreams; it's that they weren't even able to start chasing them.
令人沮丧的不是他们无法实现梦想；而是他们甚至无法开始追逐梦想。
[12:36] So I read these emails and I had a little bit of an epiphany -- that I don't think non-procrastinators exist.
所以我读了这些邮件，我突然有了一个顿悟——我认为不存在不拖延的人。
[12:46] That's right -- I think all of you are procrastinators.
没错——我认为你们所有人都是拖延者。
[12:49] Now, you might not all be a mess, like some of us,
现在，你们可能不像我们中的一些人那样一团糟，
[12:54] and some of you may have a healthy relationship with deadlines, but remember: the Monkey's sneakiest trick is when the deadlines aren't there.
你们中的一些人可能与截止日期有健康的相处方式，但请记住：猴子的最狡猾的把戏是当截止日期不存在的时候。
[13:03] Now, I want to show you one last thing.
现在，我想给你们看最后一件事。
[13:05] I call this a Life Calendar.
我称之为生命日历。
[13:08] That's one box for every week of a 90-year life.
这是90年生命中每周的一个格子。
[13:13] That's not that many boxes, especially since we've already used a bunch of those.
格子不多，尤其是因为我们已经用掉了一些。
[13:18] So I think we need to all take a long, hard look at that calendar.
所以我想我们需要一起认真地看看那个日历。
[13:25] We need to think about what we're really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating on something in life.
我们需要思考我们到底在拖延什么，因为生活中每个人都在拖延某件事。
[13:32] We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey.
我们需要警惕即时满足猴子。
[13:37] That's a job for all of us.
这是我们所有人的工作。
[13:40] And because there's not that many boxes on there,
而且因为那里没有那么多方框，
[13:43] it's a job that should probably start today.
这项工作可能应该今天就开始。
[13:45] Well, maybe not today, but ...
嗯，也许不是今天，但是……
[13:50] You know.
你知道的。
[13:51] Sometime soon.
不久的将来。
[13:53] Thank you.
谢谢你。