# Stop Wasting Your Time: The Scientific Way to Stop Procrastination and Get Control of Your Day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccY2DaPEB9s
Translation: ja

[00:00] You are a productive person.
  あなたは生産的な人です。

[00:02] You are getting a lot done.
  あなたは多くのことを成し遂げています。

[00:05] People depend on you.
  人々はあなたに依存しています。

[00:07] You are doing the things you have to do.
  あなたはしなければならないことをしています。

[00:09] I want you to make time for the things you want to do.
  私はあなたがやりたいことのために時間を作ることを望みます。

[00:13] Today, you and I are here with the very wise, very practical, and very real Laura Vanderam.
  今日、あなたと私は非常に賢く、非常に実用的で、非常に現実的なローラ・ヴァンダーラムと共にここにいます。

[00:18] And we're learning how to take control of our free time.
  そして、私たちは自由な時間を管理する方法を学んでいます。

[00:20] For so much of my life, whether it was because I had a really stressful job or taking care of kids or taking care of aging parents, I felt like my entire life were things I have to do.
  私の人生の多くにおいて、それが本当にストレスの多い仕事であったか、子供の世話をしていたか、または年老いた親の世話をしていたかどうかにかかわらず、私の人生全体がしなければならないことのように感じていました。

[00:33] There are certain phases of life when things feel more crunched, when they feel more intense, when the choices feel a little bit more fraught.
  人生には、物事がより切迫していると感じられる時期、より激しく感じられる時期、選択肢が少しより困難に感じられる時期があります。

[00:40] But I promise it is possible.
  しかし、それは可能であると約束します。

[00:43] Even in the middle of a busy Tuesday, even when life seems chaotic, we can enjoy ourselves.
  忙しい火曜日の真ん中でも、人生が混沌としているように見えても、私たちは楽しむことができます。

[00:49] We can have moments of fun.
  私たちは楽しいひとときを持つことができます。

[00:51] And not only that, I think people deserve to have moments of fun.
  それだけでなく、人々は楽しいひとときを持つに値すると私は思います。

[00:54] I've seen people's lives transformed by finding an hour to do something that
  私は人々が何かをするために一時間を見つけることによって人生が変わるのを見てきました。

[01:00] They enjoy in the course of the week.
  彼らは一週間のうちにそれを楽しみます。

[01:02] And it changes their narrative.
  そしてそれは彼らの物語を変えます。

[01:03] My life is no longer out of my control.
  私の人生はもう私のコントロール下にはありません。

[01:06] At the mercy of everyone else.
  他のすべての人に翻弄されることなく。

[01:09] I am the kind of person who makes space for things that are fun for me.
  私は自分にとって楽しいことのためにスペースを作るような人間です。

[01:14] Next week is going to have its own problems.
  来週は来週で問題があるでしょう。

[01:17] Uh, next month is going to have its own crises.
  ええと、来月は来月で危機があるでしょう。

[01:19] We need to figure out strategies that allow us to live a good life now.
  私たちは今、良い人生を送ることを可能にする戦略を見つける必要があります。

[01:25] You start to feel more empowered.
  あなたはより力づけられていると感じ始めます。

[01:27] You start feeling less overwhelmed, right?
  あなたは圧倒されることが少なくなるのを感じ始めますよね？

[01:28] Life starts feeling more calm.
  人生はより穏やかに感じ始めます。

[01:30] You feel like you are making progress on your goals.
  あなたは自分の目標に向かって進歩しているように感じます。

[01:31] And that's a much better place to be starting from.
  そして、そこから始めるのはずっと良い場所です。

[01:34] Laura Vanderham, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
  ローラ・ヴァンダーハムさん、メル・ロビンズ・ポッドキャストへようこそ。

[01:38] Yeah, thanks for having me.
  はい、お招きいただきありがとうございます。

[01:40] I'm I'm so excited to be here.
  ここにいられてとても興奮しています。

[01:41] So, here's how I want to start.
  さて、始め方はこうです。

[01:43] I would love to have you speak directly to the person who's with us right now.
  今私たちと一緒にいる人に直接話していただきたいと思います。

[01:47] Somebody who doesn't have a lot of time, but they have made the time to learn from you.
  時間があまりないけれど、あなたから学ぶために時間を作ってくれた人。

[01:52] What could you tell them is going to be different about their life if they take everything to heart that you're about to share based on your research and your
  あなたの研究に基づいてこれから共有しようとしていることをすべて心に留めた場合、彼らの人生に何が違うことになるか、彼らに何を伝えることができますか？

[02:00] Expertise about time?
  時間についての専門知識ですか？

[02:02] I am so happy you're here today.
  今日ここに来てくれてとても嬉しいです。

[02:05] Anyone listening to this show, I know you are a productive person.
  この番組を聞いている皆さん、あなたは生産的な人だと知っています。

[02:07] You are getting a lot done.
  あなたは多くのことを成し遂げています。

[02:09] People depend on you.
  人々はあなたに依存しています。

[02:13] You are doing the things you have to do.
  あなたはやるべきことをやっています。

[02:16] I want you to make time for the things you want to do, right?
  やりたいことのために時間を作ってほしいのです、そうでしょう？

[02:18] I want everyone listening to this to wake up in the morning knowing there's something exciting and wonderful waiting for you in the day.
  この番組を聞いている皆さんに、朝目覚めたときに、その日一日、何かワクワクするような素晴らしいことが待っていると知ってほしいのです。

[02:30] That is what time management is about, right?
  それがタイムマネジメントということでしょう、そうでしょう？

[02:32] It's not about squeezing more in that you have to do.
  それは、やるべきことをさらに詰め込むことではありません。

[02:35] It's about making space for the good stuff.
  それは、良いことのためにスペースを作ることなのです。

[02:37] Laura, already my mouth is on the floor.
  ローラ、もう私の口は床についています。

[02:41] You you said something so simple and I want to make sure that you got it as you were listening to Laura or watching this right now.
  あなたはとてもシンプルなことを言いました。そして、ローラの話を聞いているときや、今これを見ているときに、あなたがそれを理解したことを確認したいのです。

[02:53] There's a big difference between the things you have to do and the things that you want to do.
  やるべきことと、やりたいことの間には大きな違いがあります。

[02:55] And for
  そして、～のために

[03:02] So much of my life, whether it was because I had a really stressful job, and jobs always have a lot of have toss or taking care of kids or taking care of aging parents, I felt like my entire life were things I have to do.
  私の人生の多くは、非常にストレスの多い仕事をしていて、仕事には常に多くの困難が伴うか、子供の世話や高齢の親の世話をするか、私の人生全体がやらなければならないことだと感じていました。

[03:17] You're going to teach us that there is time available to do things we want to do, even though there's a lot we have to do.
  やりたいことをやるための時間があることを教えてくれるのですね、たとえやらなければならないことがたくさんあったとしても。

[03:25] I promise you, even if you have a lot you have to do, and I know everyone does these days, there is space for the things you want to do.
  約束します、たとえやらなければならないことがたくさんあったとしても、そして最近は誰もがそうだと知っていますが、やりたいことをするためのスペースはあります。

[03:33] And not only that, you deserve to have space for the things you want to do.
  それだけでなく、やりたいことをするためのスペースを持つに値します。

[03:36] You are doing so much for everyone.
  あなたは皆のために多くのことをしています。

[03:37] I promise there's time for yourself as well.
  あなた自身のための時間もあると約束します。

[03:41] Oh my god.
  なんてことだ。

[03:41] Well, I can't wait to find these little pockets of free time cuz I can't wait to find them for people.
  さて、これらのちょっとした自由な時間を見つけるのが待ちきれません、なぜなら人々のためにそれらを見つけるのが待ちきれないからです。

[03:45] Well, it doesn't feel like you have any free time.
  さて、自由な時間は全くないように感じます。

[03:47] I mean, is that a common thing that you've found when you're researching these topics that people feel like they have no free time?
  つまり、これらのトピックを調査しているときに、人々が自由な時間がないと感じるというのは、よくあることですか？

[03:53] A lot of people will say, "Yes, I have no free time whatsoever."
  多くの人が「はい、全く自由な時間はありません」と言うでしょう。

[03:57] I can promise you, I have studied thousands of people's schedules.
  約束できます、私は何千人もの人々のスケジュールを研究しました。

[03:59] Everybody has some
  誰もがいくらか持っています

[04:03] discretionary time.
  裁量時間です。

[04:06] Now, it may not be as much time as you want.
  さて、それはあなたが望むほど多くの時間ではないかもしれません。

[04:08] I totally believe that.
  私はそれを完全に信じています。

[04:10] But there's a big difference between not as much as I want and none.
  しかし、欲しいほどではないということと、全くないということの間には大きな違いがあります。

[04:13] When people say I have no free time whatsoever, they mean I don't have as much free time as I want.
  人々が「全く自由な時間がない」と言うとき、それは欲しいほど自由な時間がないという意味です。

[04:17] But when we approach this question from I have some free time, it's just not as much as I want.
  しかし、「自由な時間は少しあるが、欲しいほどではない」という観点からこの質問にアプローチすると、

[04:22] Well, that suggests some good questions right there.
  それは、まさに良い質問を示唆しています。

[04:25] How can I scale up my free time in the long run?
  長期的に見て、どのように自由な時間を増やせるでしょうか？

[04:27] You know, how can I make good choices in the limited time I do have so I feel most rejuvenated?
  つまり、限られた時間の中で、最も元気になれるような良い選択をするにはどうすればよいでしょうか？

[04:31] Okay, so that's the second takeaway that I want to make sure that you got because I just had a light bulb moment there to quote Oprah where it is easy to fall into that trap where you're burnt out or you feel overwhelmed or you have a never-ending to-do list and you start to say to yourself, I have no free time.
  さて、これが私が皆さんに理解してほしい2つ目のテイクアウェイです。なぜなら、私もまさにオペラが言ったような電球が灯る瞬間があったからです。燃え尽きたり、圧倒されたり、終わりのないやることリストがあったりして、「自由な時間がない」と言ってしまう罠に陥りやすいのです。

[04:48] I have no time.
  時間がないのです。

[04:50] One takeaway already is I don't have enough free time.
  すでに一つのテイクアウェイは、十分な自由な時間がないということです。

[04:57] And simply that change acknowledges that there is some discretionary time to use your words
  そして、その変化は、あなたの言葉を使えば、いくらかの裁量時間があることを単純に認めるものです。

[05:06] that we can reclaim for ourselves.
  私たちが取り戻せるものです。

[05:08] And that's a really that feels doable.
  そしてそれは本当に実行可能だと感じることです。

[05:10] And so I'm glad we're starting there.
  そして、そこから始められて嬉しいです。

[05:12] Laura, based on your research, what do you think the most surprising thing that the person who is with us right now needs to know about time management?
  ローラ、あなたの研究に基づいて、今私たちと一緒にいる人が時間管理について知っておくべき最も驚くべきことは何だと思いますか？

[05:20] Well, here's a number for you.
  さて、あなたに数字を一つお伝えします。

[05:22] Okay.
  はい。

[05:22] There are 168 hours in a week.
  一週間には168時間あります。

[05:25] Does it with like total?
  合計でそれを含みますか？

[05:27] Total.
  合計です。

[05:27] Okay.
  はい。

[05:27] So that includes sleeping.
  つまり、睡眠も含まれるのですね。

[05:29] Well, people say 24/7 all the time, right?
  まあ、人々はいつも24時間年中無休と言いますが、そうですよね？

[05:32] Nobody ever multiplies it through.
  誰もそれを掛け合わせることはありません。

[05:33] Okay, so if you multiply 24 * 7, there are 168 hours in a week.
  はい、ですから24×7を掛けると、一週間に168時間になります。

[05:38] Okay, and I think this is an important number for people to know for a couple reasons.
  はい、そしてこれは人々がいくつかの理由で知っておくべき重要な数字だと思います。

[05:42] I mean, one, a week is the cycle of life as we actually live it.
  つまり、一つには、一週間は私たちが実際に生きている人生のサイクルです。

[05:45] I mean, if I look at you on a Tuesday, I look at you on a Saturday, these days often look a little bit different from people, but a week encompasses both.
  つまり、火曜日にあなたを見ても、土曜日にあなたを見ても、これらの日はしばしば人によって少し違って見えますが、一週間は両方を含んでいます。

[05:52] And you know, both are representative of our lives.
  そして、ご存知のように、どちらも私たちの人生を代表するものです。

[05:54] So we want to make sure we are looking at all of them.
  ですから、私たちはそれらすべてを見ていることを確認したいのです。

[05:58] But when we start with the number 168 hours, just a few numbers to think about with this.
  しかし、168時間という数字から始めるとき、これについて考えるための数字はほんのいくつかです。

[06:03] If you work 40 hours, so standard full-time job, okay?
  もしあなたが40時間働くとすれば、つまり標準的なフルタイムの仕事、はい？

[06:09] If you sleep 8 hours a night, Yeah.
  一晩に8時間寝るとしましょう。ええ。

[06:12] So 8 * 7 is 56 hours per week.
  つまり、8かける7は週に56時間です。

[06:15] Okay.
  わかりました。

[06:15] If you subtract 40 and 56 from 168, we get 72 hours for other things.
  168から40と56を引くと、他のことに72時間残ります。

[06:20] Okay?
  いいですか？

[06:23] Now, that doesn't mean that those 72 hours are free and clear.
  さて、その72時間がすべて自由で空いているという意味ではありません。

[06:25] Most of us have families we are taking care of.
  私たちの大半は、世話をしている家族がいます。

[06:28] We have community responsibilities.
  地域社会の責任があります。

[06:30] We have housework.
  家事があります。

[06:32] We have all sorts of things we need to deal with in those 72 hours.
  その72時間で対処する必要のある、あらゆる種類のことがあります。

[06:34] But 72 hours is still a lot of time.
  しかし、72時間は依然として多くの時間です。

[06:38] And so when people are looking at that, they say, "Well, could I find 3 hours to read in the course of the week?
  ですから、人々がそれを見るとき、彼らは「まあ、一週間のうちに読書する時間を3時間見つけられるだろうか？」と言います。

[06:42] Could I find two hours to get together with friends in the course of 72 hours?
  72時間のうちに友人と集まる時間を2時間見つけられるだろうか？

[06:47] That starts to seem a little bit more doable than if we're just looking at a crunched Tuesday.
  それは、単に忙しい火曜日を見ているよりも、少し実行可能に思えてきます。

[06:51] I think a lot of us are walking around with this story that we are incredibly busy.
  私たちの大半は、信じられないほど忙しいという話をして歩いていると思います。

[06:54] We have no time for anything.
  私たちは何のためにも時間がないのです。

[06:56] And I'm not denying that anyone is busy.
  そして、誰かが忙しいことを否定しているわけではありません。

[06:58] Um, but I would question the narrative of having no time for anything.
  ええと、しかし、何のためにも時間がないという物語には疑問を呈します。

[07:00] And I think
  そして、私は思います

[07:10] Sometimes looking from the perspective of 168 hours can help us see that a little bit better.
  168時間という視点から物事を見ることで、それが少しだけより良く見えることがあります。

[07:18] It is a little eyeopening because you're right.
  それは少し目が覚めるようなことですが、あなたは正しいです。

[07:21] I often when I think about, okay, do I have any time or how much time do I have or what am I doing with my time?
  私はよく、よし、時間はあるのか、どれくらい時間があるのか、あるいは自分の時間で何をしているのか、と考えます。

[07:25] I'll open up my calendar and be like and then I'll look at my to-do list and then I don't see any time and then I panic about the time.
  カレンダーを開いて、そしてToDoリストを見て、すると時間が全くないことに気づき、時間についてパニックになります。

[07:33] But what you're going to teach us is let's just start with the basics that after a full-time job and getting 8 hours of sleep, there's 72 hours.
  しかし、あなたが私たちに教えてくれることは、まず基本的なことから始めましょうということです。フルタイムの仕事をして8時間の睡眠をとった後、72時間が残ります。

[07:44] And when you look at the fact that there's 72 hours, we're going to start to ask ourselves, could I possibly find some pockets of time in there where I could be more intentional about how I'm using it?
  そして、72時間があるという事実に目を向けると、私たちは自問し始めます。それを使う方法について、もっと意図的にできるような時間の隙間を、そこにいくつか見つけることは可能でしょうか？

[07:58] that feels accessible to me because one of the things that I was concerned about even though I'm very familiar with your work is time management can be a very like bro thing like block your time set the timer like get in these time
  それは私にとって取り組みやすいと感じます。なぜなら、あなたの仕事には非常に精通していますが、私が懸念していたことの一つは、時間管理が非常に「兄弟」的なことになりがちだということです。時間をブロックする、タイマーを設定する、これらの時間に取り組むといったことです。

[08:12] like all this kind of stuff well we all do have 168 hours in a week but you are correct I mean I'm in the weeds too I work I have young kids still at home.
  このようなもののすべてのように、私たちは皆、週に168時間ありますが、あなたは正しいです。つまり、私も苦労しています。私は働いています。まだ家に幼い子供がいます。

[08:22] you have five children and a puppy and a spouse.
  あなたは5人の子供と1匹の子犬と配偶者がいます。

[08:24] I have all those things but yeah we even with all those things.
  私はそれらすべてを持っていますが、はい、それらすべてを持っていても。

[08:28] We can still make choices.
  私たちはまだ選択をすることができます。

[08:31] Now, will somebody who has five kids and a job have as much discretionary time as one of these perhaps productivity bros, if we want to talk about them that way?
  さて、5人の子供と仕事をしている人は、おそらく生産性ブロウと呼ばれるような人と同じくらい自由な時間があるでしょうか？

[08:40] No.
  いいえ。

[08:43] But that doesn't mean we have to completely admit defeat.
  しかし、それは私たちが完全に敗北を認める必要があるという意味ではありません。

[08:48] We just need to be intentional about our time and recognize that we can still make some choices.
  私たちはただ私たちの時間に意図的になり、まだいくつかの選択をすることができると認識する必要があります。

[08:52] I love that because you're meeting us where we are and your research and the in particular the nine rules of time management that you're going to walk us through help us even in those moments to reclaim time.
  あなたが私たちを受け入れてくれているので、私はそれが大好きです。そしてあなたの研究、特にあなたが私たちに説明してくれる時間管理の9つのルールは、そのような瞬間でさえ私たちに時間を取り戻すのを助けてくれます。

[09:07] And so let's turn to the nine rules that you
  それで、あなたが説明する9つのルールに移りましょう。

[09:14] write in your amazing best-selling book, Tranquility by Tuesday.
  あなたの素晴らしいベストセラー本、「Tranquility by Tuesday」に書き込んでください。

[09:20] And the first rule of productivity, I love this one, is give yourself a bedtime.
  そして、生産性の最初のルール、私はこれが好きですが、それは寝る時間を決めることです。

[09:28] Why is giving yourself a bedtime a rule for productivity?
  なぜ寝る時間を決めることが生産性のルールなのでしょうか？

[09:32] Well, I know you are a big fan of bedtimes, correct?
  さて、あなたは寝る時間を決めることの大ファンだと知っていますね？

[09:34] You give yourself a bedtime.
  あなたは寝る時間を決めます。

[09:36] Yes, I do. I do actually.
  はい、そうです。実際そうです。

[09:39] Yeah.
  ええ。

[09:41] And I think this is important for everyone else because here's a paradox I have noticed with sleep and from studying thousands of people's schedules.
  そして、これは他のすべての人にとっても重要だと思います。なぜなら、睡眠に関して私が気づいたパラドックスと、何千人もの人々のスケジュールを研究した結果があるからです。

[09:49] Many people are getting enough sleep from a quantitative perspective when you look over the course of the week.
  多くの人は、週を通して見ると、量的な観点からは十分な睡眠をとっています。

[09:56] So I do these time diary projects.
  そこで、私はこれらのタイムダイアリープロジェクトを行います。

[09:58] Sleep experts tell us you know we need adults need let's say 7 to 8 hours of sleep a day.
  睡眠の専門家は、大人は1日に7〜8時間の睡眠が必要だと言っています。

[10:02] And I'd look at people's time logs and they were generally getting somewhere between 49 and 56 hours of sleep over the course of the week.
  そして、私は人々のタイムログを見て、彼らは一般的に週に49時間から56時間の睡眠をとっていました。

[10:08] Right?
  そうでしょう？

[10:10] So that would put us in the seven to eight hours per day category.
  それは、1日あたり7〜8時間のカテゴリーに私たちを置くでしょう。

[10:13] And yet people feel really tired.
  それなのに、人々は本当に疲れていると感じています。

[10:15] And so it's like, well, why is everyone claiming to be so tired?
  そして、なぜ誰もがとても疲れていると主張しているのか、ということです。

[10:20] Yeah.
  ええ。

[10:20] When they seem to be getting enough sleep from a quantitative perspective.
  量的な観点から十分な睡眠をとっているように見えるのに。

[10:25] So I'm puzzling this for a while.
  それで、しばらくの間これを不思議に思っていました。

[10:26] And then I look at how much sleep people are getting daytoday.
  そして、人々が日々どれだけ睡眠をとっているかを見てみました。

[10:31] So there can be a vast difference in how much sleep people are getting daytoday.
  だから、人々が日々どれだけ睡眠をとっているかには、大きな違いがある可能性があります。

[10:37] And I'm not just talking Tuesday versus Saturday.
  そして、火曜日対土曜日というだけではありません。

[10:39] I'm talking even Tuesday versus Wednesday, okay?
  火曜日対水曜日でさえも話しています、いいですか？

[10:43] In one of my time diary projects, I looked at how much sleep people were getting on Tuesday versus Wednesday.
  私のタイムダイアリープロジェクトの一つで、火曜日と水曜日に人々がどれだけ睡眠をとっていたかを見ました。

[10:49] And about a quarter of people had a 90minute gap between how much sleep they got on Tuesday really and how much they got on Wednesday.
  そして、約4分の1の人は、火曜日に実際にどれだけ眠ったかと水曜日にどれだけ眠ったかの間に90分の差がありました。

[10:56] And you can see how this plays out.
  そして、これがどのように展開するかを見ることができます。

[10:58] People are up late on one night.
  人々は一晩中遅くまで起きています。

[11:01] Y um they have to be up at the crack of dawn for something and so it's been a short night and then your body forces you to make it up.
  ええと、何かがあって夜明けとともに起きなければならないので、短い夜になり、そしてあなたの体はそれを補うようにあなたに強制します。

[11:08] So they are crashing on the couch while watching TV or they're sitting with their four-year-old who's going to bed and they're falling asleep on the floor there or they're hitting Yeah.
  だから、彼らはテレビを見ながらソファで寝落ちするか、寝ようとしている4歳の子供と一緒に座っていて、そこで床で眠りに落ちるか、あるいは叩いています、ええ。

[11:17] They're hitting snooze four times in the morning.
  彼らは朝に4回スヌーズを鳴らします。

[11:19] You know that planned workout in the morning isn't happening.
  朝の予定されていたワークアウトは行われないことを知っています。

[11:23] They're getting up, you know, 2 minutes before they need to be out the door.
  彼らは、あなたが知っているように、家を出る必要がある2分前に起きています。

[11:26] Um so which night was typical?
  ええと、だから、どの夜が典型的でしたか？

[11:28] Well, they both happened again, but it's disorderly sleep.
  まあ、どちらも再び起こりましたが、それは乱れた睡眠です。

[11:30] So, most adults need to wake up at set times in the morning for work or family responsibilities, right?
  ですから、ほとんどの大人は、仕事や家族の責任のために、朝は決まった時間に起きる必要がありますよね？

[11:38] People have been setting alarm clocks since they're 12 years old.
  人々は12歳から目覚まし時計をセットしています。

[11:42] Since that is the case, in order to get the same amount of sleep every night, which just feels so much better, right?
  そういうことなので、毎晩同じ量の睡眠をとるために、それはずっと気分が良いですよね？

[11:48] We don't want to be on this drop tower carnival ride where you're going up and down and up and down.
  私たちは、上がったり下がったり上がったり下がったりするこのドロップタワーのカーニバルライドに乗りたくありません。

[11:54] We need to figure out what time we need to go to bed in order to get the same amount of sleep every night.
  毎晩同じ量の睡眠をとるために、何時に寝る必要があるかを突き止める必要があります。

[11:58] Got it?
  わかりましたか？

[12:01] So, this is just math, right?
  だから、これはただの数学ですよね？

[12:05] If you need 8 hours of sleep, if you need to wake up at 6:00 a.m., then you need to be asleep at 10:00 p.m.
  8時間の睡眠が必要で、午前6時に起きる必要があるなら、午後10時には寝ている必要があります。

[12:09] If you need 7 and 1/2 hours of sleep and you need to wake up at 6:30 a.m., you need to be in bed trying to go to sleep at 11:00 p.m., right?
  7時間半の睡眠が必要で、午前6時半に起きる必要があるなら、午後11時に寝ようとベッドにいる必要がありますよね？

[12:16] Yeah.
  はい。

[12:16] Nothing to do with what
  何の関係もない

[12:18] kind of person you are. Just a math question.
  あなたはどんな人ですか。ただの数学の問題です。

[12:20] So, everyone needs a bedtime.
  だから、誰もが就寝時間を必要としています。

[12:23] And the real pro tip of course and you know this is you need to set some sort of alarm for a little bit before right before their bedtimes and this gives you a chance to wind down, shut the house, brush your teeth, say good night, get into bed, feel all cozy.
  そして、もちろん本当のプロのアドバイスは、そしてあなたはこれを知っています、それは彼らの就寝時間の少し前に、ちょうど彼らの就寝時間の前にアラームを設定する必要があるということです、そしてこれはあなたが落ち着いて、家を静かにして、歯を磨いて、おやすみを言って、ベッドに入って、すべてを快適に感じる機会を与えてくれます。

[12:28] Um when people did this so people followed this rule and the rule is just simply give yourself a bedtime.
  ええと、人々がこれをしたとき、人々はこのルールに従いました、そしてルールは単にあなた自身に就寝時間を与えることです。

[12:46] Yeah.
  はい。

[12:47] The proportion of people who said they were getting enough sleep to handle their responsibilities rose 25% over the course of the study.
  自分の責任に対処するのに十分な睡眠をとっていると言った人の割合は、研究期間中に25％増加しました。

[12:52] Really?
  本当に？

[12:55] Yeah.
  はい。

[12:55] And I would tell you people weren't really getting more sleep.
  そして、私はあなたに言いますが、人々は実際にはより多くの睡眠をとっていませんでした。

[12:57] Like I'm not saying you have to devote more hours of your life to sleep.
  例えば、私はあなたがあなたの人生のより多くの時間を睡眠に捧げなければならないとは言っていません。

[12:59] It's just that it's more orderly.
  それは単に、より秩序があるということです。

[13:02] You're not crashing one night and making it up the next.
  あなたは一晩中寝不足で、次の日にそれを補うことはありません。

[13:04] You're getting the same amount of sleep every night.
  あなたは毎晩同じ量の睡眠をとっています。

[13:08] And that gives you so much more energy.
  そしてそれはあなたにとても多くのエネルギーを与えます。

[13:09] Well, and also you feel in control.
  まあ、そしてまたあなたはコントロールされていると感じます。

[13:12] And is that part of it too that you're choosing how to spend the time?
  そして、あなたがどのように時間を使うかを選んでいるということも、その一部ですか？

[13:14] So, it gives you this sense that you're in control of it.
  だから、それはあなたがそれをコントロールしているという感覚を与えてくれます。

[13:19] Absolutely.
  もちろんです。

[13:21] Every one of these rules has an obvious benefit.
  これらの規則はどれも明らかな利点があります。

[13:24] Like, go to bed on time, you get enough sleep.
  例えば、時間通りに寝れば、十分な睡眠が取れます。

[13:25] That sounds great.
  それは素晴らしいですね。

[13:26] But there's a deeper reason for it, too.
  しかし、それにはもっと深い理由もあります。

[13:27] I mean, most of us understand that a day has a beginning, right?
  つまり、私たちの大半は一日には始まりがあることを理解していますよね？

[13:30] But we're a little fuzzy around this notion that each day has an end.
  しかし、一日一日には終わりがあるという考えについては、私たちは少し曖昧です。

[13:34] Okay, say that again cuz this is actually really important because you're right.
  わかりました、もう一度言ってください。なぜなら、これは実際に非常に重要だからです。あなたは正しいです。

[13:39] It does start at a certain time.
  それは確かに特定の時間に始まります。

[13:42] And you don't often think about how important it is to be intentional about, well, when am I actually ending today?
  そして、いつ実際に今日を終えるのかについて意図的であることの重要性について、あなたはしばしば考えません。

[13:48] Yes.
  はい。

[13:48] And so having a time that you know the day is ending allows you to make more rational choices.
  ですから、一日が終わる時間を知っていることで、より合理的な選択ができるようになります。

[13:53] And when people do this, they often realize sometimes the evening can be quite long.
  そして、人々がこれを行うと、夕方はかなり長いことがあることに気づくことがよくあります。

[13:56] Like if your bedtime is 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. and you get off work at 5:30, well, we've got 5 hours to do our various things.
  例えば、あなたの就寝時間が午後10時30分または11時で、仕事が終わるのが午後5時30分なら、私たちは様々なことをするために5時間あります。

[14:07] I mean, to be with our family, do our chores, but maybe have some discretionary time, too.
  つまり、家族と一緒に過ごしたり、雑用をしたり、しかし、もしかしたら自由な時間も持ったりするためです。

[14:12] But then we have the sense of okay, here are the five hours I can work with as opposed to there is some vague ending to
  しかし、それから私たちは、曖昧な終わりがあるのとは対照的に、ここに私が取り組める5時間がある、という感覚を持ちます。

[14:19] The day that I have no idea what it is.
  それが何なのか全く分からない日です。

[14:21] Well, the the the vague ending of the day is whenever I get through the to-do list, which is irrationally long and most of it is not critically important to me anyway or going to make me happy.
  まあ、その日の曖昧な終わりというのは、不合理なほど長く、しかもほとんど私にとって重要でもなく、幸せにしてくれるわけでもないやることリストを終えたときです。

[14:31] And so I can see how not having an end to the day that you're intentional around creates this nebulous thing around time.
  ですから、意図的に過ごす日が終わらないことが、時間に関してこの曖昧なものを作り出すのが分かります。

[14:41] Wow, that's pretty easy.
  わあ、それはかなり簡単ですね。

[14:45] Just pick a bedtime.
  寝る時間を決めればいいのです。

[14:48] So if you already pick a bedtime, cuz I this is one of those areas of my life that when my life is working, I actually get to bed very early.
  ですから、もしあなたがすでに寝る時間を決めているなら、なぜなら私の人生がうまくいっているとき、私は実際にとても早く寝るからです。

[14:54] And I'm the kind of person that my rule is if I want 8 hours of sleep, I need to be kind of in that bed around 9 hours, that give or take, right?
  そして私は、もし8時間の睡眠が欲しいなら、大体9時間くらいにはベッドにいる必要があるというルールを持っているタイプの人です、多少の誤差はありますが、ね？

[15:04] And so the math is pretty easy.
  ですから、計算はかなり簡単です。

[15:06] It gives me an end time.
  それは私に終了時間を与えます。

[15:10] If you're somebody like me who already kind of has a consistent bedtime, how do you take this rule a step further?
  もしあなたがすでに一貫した就寝時間を持っている私のような人なら、このルールをさらに一歩進めるにはどうすればいいですか？

[15:16] I'd love for people to develop a good
  人々が良いものを開発してくれると嬉しいです

[15:19] Morning routine.
  朝のルーティン。

[15:23] Okay, now I will caveat this that morning routines sometimes get a bad reputation because if we're talking about all the productivity bros, they have these like three-hour morning routines, right?
  さて、ここで注意しておきたいのは、朝のルーティンは時々悪い評判を得ることがあるということです。なぜなら、生産性を重視する人たちのことを話していると、彼らは3時間もの朝のルーティンを持っているからです、ね？

[15:31] They don't have children.
  彼らには子供がいません。

[15:31] They don't have children and like a normal job that I can tell, right?
  彼らには子供も、私が知る限り普通の仕事もない、ということですよね？

[15:36] So you they're getting up and doing a 90minute workout and some sort of cold plunge and like 30 minutes of meditation.
  だから彼らは起きて90分間のワークアウトをして、何らかのコールドプラングをして、30分間の瞑想をしているのです。

[15:43] That's great for them.
  それは彼らにとっては素晴らしいことです。

[15:45] For those of us with a normal life, those of us with a normal life, we can have more of a bite-sized morning routine because mornings still are a great time for getting stuff done.
  普通の生活を送っている私たちにとっては、普通の生活を送っている私たちにとっては、朝はまだ物事をこなすのに最適な時間なので、より一口サイズの朝のルーティンを持つことができます。

[15:54] Often, this is when people can have time for themselves before everybody else wants a piece of you, right?
  しばしば、これは皆があなたの一部を欲しがる前に、人々が自分のための時間を取ることができる時です、ね？

[16:01] So, this is great time for things that life has a way of crowding out.
  だから、これは人生が締め出してしまいがちなことのための素晴らしい時間です。

[16:04] But again, it may not be a ton of time.
  しかし、繰り返しますが、それはたくさんの時間ではないかもしれません。

[16:06] So, if you can even just get 20 minutes for yourself in the morning, you can ask, "Well, what would I like to do with it?"
  だから、もし朝に自分のために20分でも時間を作れるなら、「さて、これで何をしたいだろうか？」と尋ねることができます。

[16:11] And here's a real insight for people that maybe they haven't considered.
  そして、もしかしたら彼らがまだ考えていないかもしれない人たちにとって、ここに本当の洞察があります。

[16:14] It doesn't actually have to be the same thing every day.
  毎日同じことをする必要は実際にはありません。

[16:15] So maybe three mornings you write in a journal.
  だから、もしかしたら3日間、あなたは日記に書くかもしれません。

[16:21] you get up and do some sort of strength workout.
  あなたは起きて、何らかの筋力トレーニングを行います。

[16:24] The seventh day you rest.
  7日目は休息します。

[16:24] But now you have a morning routine.
  しかし、今ではあなたは朝のルーティンを持っています。

[16:27] And it's something that feels like you have taken time for yourself at the beginning of the day.
  そして、それは一日の始まりに自分のための時間を取ったように感じるものです。

[16:32] And that victory can propel you through to the rest of the day.
  そしてその勝利は、その日の残りの時間を乗り越える推進力となります。

[16:35] You know, one of the things that you write about in your bestselling book, Tranquility by Tuesday, is the fact that bedtime is the adult version of sleeping in as a kid.
  ご存知のように、あなたのベストセラー本「Tranquility by Tuesday」であなたが書いていることの一つは、寝る時間が子供の頃に寝坊することの大人のバージョンであるということです。

[16:43] This luxury that we can give to ourselves.
  これは私たち自身に与えることができる贅沢です。

[16:47] We get more energy when we get regular sleep.
  私たちは定期的な睡眠をとると、より多くのエネルギーを得ます。

[16:54] Right.
  そうです。

[16:54] And one of the reasons people stay up late is because they feel like they didn't get enough free time.
  そして、人々が夜更かしする理由の一つは、十分な自由時間が得られなかったと感じているからです。

[16:59] Yes.
  はい。

[17:00] During the day.
  日中に。

[17:00] Yes.
  はい。

[17:01] That's classic revenge bedtime procrastination.
  それは典型的なリベンジ就寝時間先延ばしです。

[17:03] Like I did everything for everyone else today.
  まるで今日、私は他のすべての人たちのためにすべてをやったかのように。

[17:05] I didn't have any time for me.
  私は自分のための時間を全く持ちませんでした。

[17:07] Now the house is quiet.
  今、家は静かです。

[17:09] Now my boss isn't pinging me.
  今、私のボスは私に連絡してきません。

[17:12] I can do what I want.
  私はやりたいことができます。

[17:13] Yes.
  はい。

[17:13] Right.
  そうです。

[17:13] So I'm going to sit here and scroll and go for 3 hours.
  だから、私はここに座ってスクロールして、3時間過ごすつもりです。

[17:19] I want everyone to have free time
  私は皆が自由時間を持つことを望みます

[17:21] Elsewhere in your schedule.
  あなたのスケジュールの中で他の場所で。

[17:24] And I promise you it is possible.
  そして、それが可能であることをお約束します。

[17:26] And when you start making time for yourself elsewhere during the day, when you have time for your hobbies, when you have time for your friends, when you have downtime, you don't feel quite that same need to procrastinate bedtime in order to claim just a little bit of time for yourself.
  そして、日中に他の場所で自分のための時間を作り始め、趣味のための時間があり、友達のための時間があり、ダウンタイムがあるとき、あなたは自分自身のために少しの時間を得るために就寝時間を先延ばしにするという同じような必要性をあまり感じないでしょう。

[17:41] Instead, you can view it as a gift to yourself that you are giving your body the sleep you need.
  代わりに、あなたはそれを自分自身への贈り物と見なすことができ、それはあなたがあなたの体にあなたが必要とする睡眠を与えているということです。

[17:47] Let me just make sure I understand this because I think this is really important.
  これが本当に重要だと思うので、私がこれを理解していることを確認させてください。

[17:51] You're saying that if we can find pockets of time during the day where we can insert a sense of control or find 30 minutes to relax or to take a walk or do something that like brings you a little bit of joy, right?
  あなたは、日中にコントロールの感覚を挿入したり、リラックスしたり、散歩したり、少しの喜びをもたらすようなことをしたりするための時間のポケットを見つけることができれば、あなたはそれを日中に挿入するということだと言っていますね？

[18:08] You find that you insert it during the day.
  あなたはそれを日中に挿入することを見つけます。

[18:11] When you get to that moment at night where the house is quiet, you're not going to have that sense that you had no time to yourself today.
  家が静かになる夜のその瞬間に達したとき、あなたは今日自分自身のための時間がなかったという感覚を持たないでしょう。

[18:17] So, you're going to be less likely to waste 3 hours doing nothing.
  したがって、あなたは何もせずに3時間を無駄にする可能性が低くなるでしょう。

[18:25] Absolutely.
  もちろんです。

[18:25] Oh, I love this.
  ああ、これが大好きです。

[18:28] So, you conducted a time use study to get to these nine rules of time management.
  それで、これらの9つの時間管理のルールを導き出すために、時間使用調査を実施されたのですね。

[18:33] Can you tell me about the time use?
  時間使用について教えていただけますか？

[18:35] What What does time use study mean?
  時間使用調査とはどういう意味ですか？

[18:37] What is that, Laura?
  それは何ですか、ローラ？

[18:37] Yeah.
  ええ。

[18:40] Well, a time use study is when you look at how people spend their time.
  ええと、時間使用調査とは、人々がどのように時間を過ごしているかを見るものです。

[18:43] And I've done a lot of projects looking at people's time over the years.
  そして、長年にわたり人々の時間を見てきた多くのプロジェクトを行ってきました。

[18:47] I found you can't just ask people how they spend their time.
  人々にどのように時間を過ごしているか尋ねるだけではいけないことがわかりました。

[18:51] I mean, one of the first problems is people don't know there are 168 hours in a week, right?
  つまり、最初の問題の1つは、人々が週に168時間あることを知らないということです、ね？

[18:55] So, if you don't even know what the denominator is on the fraction, you're just guessing at the numerator for different things.
  ですから、分数で分母が何であるかさえ知らないなら、さまざまなことの分子を推測しているだけです。

[19:01] I mean, what proportion of my time do I spend in the car?
  つまり、私の時間のどのくらいの割合を車で過ごしていますか？

[19:02] What proportion of my time do I spend working?
  私の時間のどのくらいの割合を仕事に費やしていますか？

[19:04] What proportion of my time do I spend on housework or on leisure activities?
  私の時間のどのくらいの割合を家事やレジャー活動に費やしていますか？

[19:09] I don't know.
  わかりません。

[19:10] If you don't know what the denominator is in the fraction, you are just guessing.
  分数で分母が何であるかを知らなければ、推測しているだけです。

[19:14] And so people will tell you all sorts of stories about where their time goes and they are almost always inaccurate.
  そして、人々は時間の使い方についてあらゆる種類の話をしてくれますが、それはほとんど常に不正確です。

[19:19] So you need to actually have people keep track of their time um in a
  ですから、実際に人々に時間の記録をつけてもらう必要があります。

[19:25] little bit more granular way.
  もう少し詳細な方法です。

[19:26] So I've done a lot of these over the years.
  それで、私は長年にわたってこれらの多くを行ってきました。

[19:29] But the nine rules that I am talking about today [snorts] came out of the recognition from doing many of these time diary studies and talking with people about their time and people would ask for advice.
  しかし、今日私が話している9つのルールは、これらの多くの時間日記調査を行い、人々と彼らの時間について話し、人々がアドバイスを求めてきたことから得られた認識から生まれました。

[19:39] And yet I seem to be telling people the same things over and over again.
  しかし、私は人々に同じことを何度も言っているようです。

[19:44] And so I uh sort of honed these down into a list of nine rules that uh seemed to be universally applicable.
  それで、私はこれらを普遍的に適用可能と思われる9つのルールのリストに絞り込みました。

[19:54] But, you know, you don't want to just tell somebody like this is what I think you should do.
  しかし、ご存知のように、単に「これがあなたがすべきだと思うことだ」と誰かに言いたくはないでしょう。

[19:58] If I'm going to give somebody advice, I want to have at least some sense that it actually works.
  誰かにアドバイスをするなら、それが実際に機能するという感覚を少なくとも持ちたいです。

[20:07] So, I recruited about 150 people to try out these nine rules over the course of nine weeks.
  そこで、私は約150人を募集し、9週間にわたってこれらの9つのルールを試してもらいました。

[20:11] They would learn a rule every week.
  彼らは毎週1つのルールを学びます。

[20:14] I would measure them on various dimensions.
  私はさまざまな次元で彼らを測定しました。

[20:15] At the start of the week, at the end of the week, at the start of the nine weeks, at the end of the nine weeks, see how it went.
  週の初め、週の終わり、9週間の初め、9週間の終わりで、それがどのように進んだかを確認しました。

[20:22] So, nine weeks, nine rules, 150 people, all applying.
  つまり、9週間、9つのルール、150人、全員が適用しています。

[20:24] And what happened?
  そして、何が起こったのでしょうか？

[20:24] The good news is they
  良いニュースは、彼らが

[20:26] felt better about their time. Their

[20:28] general time satisfaction scores rose

[20:30] 16% over the course of 9 weeks. Um,

[20:34] their satisfaction with how they spent

[20:36] time yesterday rose 17% over the course

[20:39] of the nine weeks. And maybe that

[20:41] doesn't sound like a lot, but you know,

[20:43] if somebody offered me like, "Hey,

[20:44] Laura, you're going to feel 16% better."

[20:47] Like, that sounds good to me. You know,

[20:49] it's it's it's not nothing. Well, and

[20:50] also it builds Yeah. on itself. Let's

[20:53] move on to rule number two. Rule number

[20:55] two is Oh, I love this one. Plan on

[20:59] Fridays. What do you mean plan on

[21:00] Fridays?

[21:01] The rule to plan on Fridays is really

[21:04] two rules. And the first and most

[21:06] important is to plan.

[21:07] Plan what? What am I planning?

[21:08] Everybody needs a designated weekly

[21:10] planning time.

[21:11] Okay.

[21:12] Where they look forward to the next week

[21:14] and ask both what needs to happen, but

[21:17] also what they want to see happen. What

[21:19] is most important to you professionally

[21:22] and personally over the next week? When

[21:25] roughly can it happen? What logistical

[21:28] challenges need to be worked out for all

[21:30] this to take place?

[21:31] Okay.

[21:32] Right. Everyone needs to follow this.

[21:33] So, so just so I know what I'm doing cuz

[21:36] I know the person listening is somebody

[21:38] who's like, "Okay, tell me what to do.

[21:40] Tell me what to do."

[21:41] So, I am planning the week. So, I'm

[21:44] looking ahead at the next week and I'm

[21:47] asking myself two questions. What needs

[21:49] to happen and what do I want to have

[21:51] happen?

[21:51] Absolutely. You can ask yourself looking

[21:53] forward to the next week, what is most

[21:55] important to me? And I recommend people

[21:57] look in three categories.

[21:59] Okay. What are they?

[22:00] Career.

[22:00] Okay. Relationships

[22:03] and self. And so, you can make yourself

[22:06] a threecategory list of your priorities

[22:08] for the upcoming week. Now, I know

[22:12] everyone listening to this is like,

[22:13] "Well, work to-dos. I know what those

[22:15] are over the next week. I've got my head

[22:16] around that idea." You know, and and

[22:18] probably you roughly know what's

[22:19] important for you to do in in your work

[22:21] over the next week.

[22:22] Maybe. Maybe. But people like

[22:24] relationships, self, what is this? But

[22:29] we are people with complex lives.

[22:30] Yeah.

[22:31] We have a lot going on. So, we also need

[22:33] to ask what is most important to us for

[22:35] relationships with family and friends.

[22:36] You know, what am I what do I need to do

[22:38] over the next week? What do I want to do

[22:40] over the next week in that category?

[22:42] And then self. What is most important or

[22:45] meaningful to have happen over the next

[22:46] week for your own personal spiritual,

[22:49] mental, emotional, physical health? And

[22:53] making a threecategory list as you are

[22:55] planning your week does something really

[22:57] good, which is that it is very hard to

[22:59] make a three category list and leave one

[23:02] of the categories blank. Oh, our brains

[23:04] don't work that way. like I have to put

[23:06] something in each of these categories,

[23:08] right? There's a category. I have to

[23:10] fill it in.

[23:11] Yeah.

[23:11] And so that right there is going to

[23:13] nudge you to have a more balanced life,

[23:15] right? That you are going to set a

[23:17] priority for your relationships. You

[23:18] will set a priority for your own

[23:20] personal self. And the sheer exercise of

[23:23] doing that over time can make life feel

[23:25] better. So, if I'm looking ahead at the

[23:29] week and I'm asking myself, what is

[23:32] important to me in career,

[23:34] relationships, and self that I want to

[23:36] make time for? What if you see a

[23:38] schedule and you're like, I have no

[23:40] time. Like, we're not doing that yet.

[23:42] We're just asking ourselves, what is

[23:46] actually important in these three

[23:48] categories? Correct.

[23:49] And there might be something that's

[23:50] already on the calendar that is

[23:51] important to you. Okay? And and

[23:53] sometimes it's recasting something,

[23:55] right? It's that you look forward to the

[23:57] week and you are seeing that you are

[24:00] meeting with someone at work who is a

[24:02] new hireer that you would like to

[24:04] mentor. You think she's a really awesome

[24:06] person. You're excited about it. You can

[24:07] see great things happening for her. When

[24:09] you see that meeting coming up, that can

[24:11] be a priority for you. You be like, "Oh,

[24:12] I really want to focus during this

[24:14] meeting and not just get through the

[24:16] Jones proposal while we're talking

[24:18] together. and we're going to talk about

[24:20] what she sees herself doing and any

[24:22] ideas I have for her um for doing that.

[24:24] And that right there can elevate this

[24:27] random meeting to something important

[24:29] and you approach it with an entirely

[24:30] different perspective.

[24:32] I love that. Okay, so I I get the

[24:34] planning. That's easy. But now what day

[24:37] am I doing? You said Friday.

[24:38] Friday.

[24:39] Why Friday? If you already have a weekly

[24:42] planning time that is working for you

[24:44] and it is not Friday, don't let Laura

[24:46] tell you to do anything differently,

[24:48] right? I want people to do what works

[24:49] for them. So, I know a lot of people

[24:50] plan on Sundays. Some people plan on

[24:52] Monday mornings. If it is working for

[24:54] you, that is great.

[24:55] Okay? But if you don't have a designated

[24:57] weekly planning time or you've noticed

[24:59] some trouble with the time that you do

[25:00] have, here's the case for Fridays.

[25:03] Okay?

[25:03] Make it cuz I do it on Sundays and I'm

[25:06] starting to realize maybe it's amping

[25:08] anxiety.

[25:08] I don't You're a productive person, so

[25:10] probably it's working for you. But

[25:11] here's the upside of Friday.

[25:12] I know. I think I might want to move to

[25:14] Fridays,

[25:15] especially Friday afternoon. Most people

[25:17] are not doing anything of consequence.

[25:19] What are you saying to me right now?

[25:20] You are sliding into the weekend.

[25:22] I am. It's Friday afternoon. Why are we

[25:24] even

[25:24] Why are we even here, right? Um and so

[25:27] if you are just wasting that time,

[25:29] counting the minutes until you can clock

[25:31] out,

[25:32] you may as well repurpose some of this

[25:34] time for planning, right? You can take

[25:36] what might have been wasted time and

[25:38] turn it into some of your most

[25:39] productive minutes of the week. Planning

[25:41] on Friday means you can start Monday

[25:44] morning knowing what you need to do.

[25:45] People mostly have a a burst of energy

[25:47] at the start of things versus at the end

[25:49] of things. So, you'll be able to use all

[25:51] of Monday.

[25:52] I love that. If you find out in the

[25:54] course of your planning that you need to

[25:57] make an appointment somewhere or you

[25:58] need to set up a meeting with someone,

[26:00] you are much more likely to get them on

[26:03] Friday afternoon versus Sunday, which

[26:06] maybe people will take your calls on

[26:08] Sunday, Mel, but a lot of people don't

[26:09] have that. So,

[26:10] no. You know what I end up doing, Laura?

[26:11] Is I make a to-do list.

[26:13] Mhm.

[26:13] And now I have to remember to do

[26:15] something that I could have done Friday

[26:17] afternoon while I was planning instead

[26:19] of pretending to work from 3:00 to 5:00.

[26:21] Absolutely. You're a genius.

[26:23] Here's one last reason though. I think

[26:24] this is even more important.

[26:26] Okay.

[26:27] Even people who love their jobs.

[26:30] Sunday afternoon, Sunday evening, start

[26:33] feeling a little bit of trepidation,

[26:36] right? The Sunday scaries.

[26:37] Why do we have that?

[26:39] You know there is all this stuff waiting

[26:41] for you on Monday morning.

[26:42] Uhhuh.

[26:43] But you don't know how you're going to

[26:44] deal with it.

[26:45] Yeah. And so in the back of your brain,

[26:46] you are working through all the

[26:48] scenarios, working through your to-do

[26:50] list, thinking about what am I going to

[26:52] do when I get there. If you end work on

[26:56] Friday afternoon with a plan for the

[27:00] next week, you can actually relax and

[27:02] enjoy your weekend. Uh, you just made

[27:06] the case for planning on Friday

[27:08] afternoons at 300 p.m. I am sold. I am

[27:13] moving from Sundays to Fridays

[27:15] immediately. I love this. It makes so

[27:17] much sense. I especially love the fact

[27:19] that you can knock things off the to-do

[27:21] list by making calls and appointments

[27:24] then well you can reach people. That is

[27:26] so smart. And then you know the simple

[27:28] things that you could do over the

[27:29] weekend that set you up because you're

[27:31] not panicking on Sunday because you're

[27:33] leaving it to there. Oh my god, this is

[27:36] genius.

[27:37] Wonderful. Hope it works for you. You'll

[27:38] have to let me know.

[27:39] I will def I'm certain it's going to

[27:41] work for me. I don't even need to let

[27:42] you know. I'm going to tell you right

[27:43] now. It's already working, Laura. I'm

[27:45] doing it.

[27:46] Excellent.

[27:46] So, I have a couple questions because as

[27:48] you were talking about the fact that you

[27:50] have people

[27:52] basically write down how they're

[27:55] spending their time. I thought to

[27:57] myself, you're right. I have no idea how

[27:59] I spend my time. Like, if I were to try

[28:01] to explain that to you, I would imagine

[28:05] that I would get it completely wrong.

[28:07] Like, if I thought about, well, how much

[28:09] time do I spend on my phone? I'm always

[28:10] shocked when I look at how much time

[28:12] I've actually spent. How much time did

[28:13] you spend working? How much I I I don't

[28:15] even know.

[28:16] What are some of the most surprising

[28:19] things

[28:20] that you learned as a researcher looking

[28:23] at people's documenting of their time?

[28:26] Like what's the disconnect between what

[28:28] we think we're doing and what people are

[28:29] actually doing?

[28:30] Well, the good news is people's lives

[28:34] tend not to look as bad as they might

[28:36] think they do. Um we have a tendency to

[28:40] overestimate things we don't want to do

[28:42] and we underestimate things we do want

[28:44] to do.

[28:44] So give me an example.

[28:46] So many people overestimate how many

[28:47] hours they are working.

[28:49] Really?

[28:50] Yeah. And obviously if you're getting

[28:51] paid by the hour, you know how many

[28:53] hours you are working. But if you are

[28:54] not getting paid by the hour, um there's

[28:57] a little bit of a tendency to one up

[28:59] everyone else over just how many hours

[29:01] you are working. And perhaps you've

[29:02] heard some of these conversations

[29:04] particularly in people in intense

[29:06] industries. Everyone's talking about

[29:07] their 80our work weeks, right? Or very,

[29:10] very few people actually work 80 hours a

[29:12] week. It's usually quite a bit less. Um,

[29:15] people tend to sleep more than they

[29:17] actually think they do. Huh. Um, because

[29:20] we have a tendency to view our worst

[29:23] nights as typical. We're always looking

[29:25] at that crunched Tuesday as opposed to

[29:27] adding in the sleep that might happen

[29:29] over the weekend or over a holiday or

[29:32] something like that. And so people's

[29:35] sleep over the course of a week tends to

[29:36] be more than the mental picture.

[29:39] Well, that's true because you think

[29:40] about what just happened yesterday and

[29:42] if you're time starved or crunched or

[29:44] overwhelmed or stressed out like I am

[29:46] cuz I didn't get through the to-do list

[29:47] which was completely unrealistic and

[29:49] then I overestimated how much I'm

[29:51] working cuz I'm always thinking about

[29:52] work but I might not actually be

[29:54] working. What else did you find in these

[29:57] studies that might be bad news?

[30:00] Well, people have a trouble estimating

[30:02] time in general.

[30:03] Okay.

[30:04] And the problem with that is either you

[30:06] try and cram too much into a day

[30:08] and it doesn't happen

[30:10] because the rules of time are strictly

[30:12] enforced and no one gets more than 24

[30:14] hours in a day much as you might wish to

[30:16] have more and biologically we can't be

[30:18] awake for all those 24 hours either. Um,

[30:22] so time estimation is hard in general

[30:24] and and that's one of the reasons people

[30:26] feel like they are constantly behind is

[30:28] because they're overestimating what they

[30:30] can get done in a day. I mean the good

[30:32] news though is we tend to underestimate

[30:34] what we can do in the long haul. So

[30:35] that's uh good. But the here's here's a

[30:38] positive thing. Okay. People often tell

[30:40] themselves stories about their lives um

[30:43] because we have narratives about our

[30:45] time. So, one story I hear a lot um

[30:48] particularly from women who work

[30:51] full-time um is that I never see my

[30:54] family,

[30:55] right? Like, I'm working full-time,

[30:58] therefore I'm never seeing my family.

[31:00] It's right there in the name full-time,

[31:02] [snorts and laughter]

[31:03] but there's 168 hours in a week. If

[31:06] you're working 40, if you're working a

[31:08] little more than 40, there are still

[31:09] quite a few hours left over. People will

[31:11] track their time and they are amazed at

[31:14] how much time they are spending with

[31:16] their families. I had one woman tell me,

[31:17] "I used to feel guilt. I don't feel

[31:20] guilt anymore." I'm like, "That's a good

[31:22] reason to track your time." Did you have

[31:24] any takeaway when you did these time

[31:28] studies with everybody in terms of how

[31:31] much free time or pockets of time there

[31:35] actually was as a general rule that most

[31:38] people were like, "Oh, wow. I've found

[31:41] on average three hours every week or

[31:43] something like that. Was there an

[31:44] insight around the amount of time that

[31:46] people found?

[31:47] I believe most people can find about an

[31:49] hour a day.

[31:50] An hour a day.

[31:51] Mhm.

[31:51] An hour a day.

[31:52] An hour a day.

[31:53] If you think about

[31:54] like in in like in a compact hour or

[31:57] like it is not, but but some of them

[32:00] might be longer chunks than others.

[32:02] There often are at least let's say 30

[32:04] minutes before you go to bed at night.

[32:06] Like if you've organized your life that

[32:07] you can read for 30 minutes before you

[32:10] go to bed. Um maybe it's that you use 15

[32:13] minutes on a lunch break for something

[32:15] that is enjoyable to you and you know 15

[32:18] minutes to eat. Maybe it is a pocket of

[32:21] 15 minutes somewhere else. You know the

[32:23] kids are distracted uh while you know at

[32:26] the house and you can you can seize that

[32:27] time for doing something you'd enjoy

[32:29] instead of just scrolling around on your

[32:30] phone. These little bits of time do add

[32:33] up. And you know, we can when people

[32:35] start using these chunks of time for

[32:37] things that they enjoy.

[32:38] Sometimes it lights a fire under them to

[32:40] go find bigger chunks of time. You know,

[32:42] you start reading a really good book in

[32:43] 20 minutes, you don't want to stop. In

[32:45] 20 minutes, you're like, "Well, let me

[32:46] go see. Can I find an hour somewhere?"

[32:48] And I Yes,

[32:48] it's a good hunt. It might be a

[32:50] challenging hunt depending on what time

[32:51] of life you are in, but I think we can

[32:53] make it work. Well, what I love about it

[32:55] is you're starting to wake up to the

[32:58] importance of how you spend your time.

[33:01] And once you start protecting it and you

[33:03] start filling it with things that you

[33:05] enjoy, you mention a good book and we've

[33:06] all had that experience where you're

[33:07] reading a great book and you just want

[33:09] to get back to it. You can see how that

[33:11] starts to build. The positive things

[33:13] that you're adding in make you want to

[33:16] find more pockets of time to add in. So,

[33:19] you might try that. If you're telling

[33:21] yourself the story that I have no

[33:22] control over my time whatsoever, no

[33:24] discretionary time, pick up some sort

[33:26] of, you know, got to find out what

[33:28] happens book, start reading it and you

[33:31] might start to see that there are a few

[33:32] more minutes that you can decide what to

[33:35] do with. And you know, if you're

[33:36] listening and watching right now and you

[33:38] have a recommendation for a page turner,

[33:41] please put it in the comments below so

[33:42] that we all have a running list that

[33:44] we've crowdsourced of those books that

[33:46] you just can't put down cuz that is the

[33:49] perfect example of how when it matters

[33:52] to you and you're present to it, you

[33:54] will find the time.

[33:55] I recall, I mean, it was something like

[33:56] 20 years ago now, but I was uh reading

[33:59] the Da Vinci Code, which you know, well

[34:01] known for being a page turner. And

[34:03] somehow I found whatever it takes like

[34:05] 10 hours to read this book over the

[34:07] course of like 3 days [laughter] and

[34:09] it's like where did I have 10 hours of

[34:11] free time? Somehow I had 10 hours of

[34:12] free time. Uh your point though that

[34:15] you're challenging us to really confront

[34:17] in ourselves is you probably have 10

[34:20] hours of free time in the next 3 days if

[34:23] you got serious about finding it.

[34:25] Absolutely.

[34:26] And that's the point. The point is not

[34:28] about the fact that you don't have a lot

[34:30] of demands in your life. You're

[34:32] acknowledging the challenge of living in

[34:35] the modern world and the fact that the

[34:37] person that's listening, myself, we have

[34:39] big productive lives. We want to feel

[34:42] engaged in our lives and we feel like we

[34:44] have no time. You're here saying

[34:46] actually you do. I want you to hunt for

[34:48] it.

[34:48] Yes. What I'm gathering for myself as I

[34:52] listen to you, even though I'm very

[34:53] familiar with your research, is my

[34:55] narrative about my life and time is

[34:59] about the things I have to do, which of

[35:02] course sets you up to feel like you have

[35:04] no power. And when you flip it and start

[35:08] to go, okay, there are things I have to

[35:10] do, but what is it that I would also

[35:12] want to be doing this week? And how can

[35:14] I find some time in this week in order

[35:17] to fit some of it in? You start to feel

[35:20] more empowered.

[35:21] Yes.

[35:21] This is so good, Laura. So good. You

[35:25] feel much more empowered. And the good

[35:27] news is it doesn't even have to be a lot

[35:28] of time. I've seen people's lives

[35:31] transformed by finding an hour to do

[35:34] something that they enjoy in the course

[35:36] of the week. And suddenly this becomes

[35:38] something they are looking forward to.

[35:40] And it changes their narrative. My life

[35:42] is no longer out of my control at the

[35:45] mercy of everyone else. I am the kind of

[35:48] person who makes space for things that

[35:51] are fun for me. And that's just a much

[35:52] more empowering narrative. I love that.

[35:55] It's true because if you have nothing to

[35:56] look forward to and you're constantly

[35:58] telling yourself that you have no time

[36:00] and things are out of control and you're

[36:02] pushing off the little things that

[36:04] actually bring you a little bit of joy,

[36:06] it would make a big difference to flip

[36:08] this. And that's where these nine rules

[36:11] come in. So rule number three is move by

[36:15] 300 p.m. What does that mean? So

[36:18] physical activity, yes, is a known

[36:20] energy booster, mood booster. Okay? And

[36:24] one of my favorite studies ever. This

[36:26] wasn't one of mine, um, but somebody

[36:28] else did. They had people rate their

[36:31] energy in the course of the day on a 1

[36:33] to 10 point scale. And when people were

[36:35] down at a three, so they were really

[36:38] dragging, they had them go do a short

[36:41] burst of physical activity. So I think

[36:42] running up and down the stairs in your

[36:44] office building for for 5 minutes or so.

[36:47] Does it have to be cardio? Like could we

[36:48] take a brisk walk?

[36:49] Well, you could take a brisk walk.

[36:50] Absolutely. I'm a big fan of a brisk

[36:52] walk.

[36:52] You know, I'm anti-curio. [laughter]

[36:55] For those of us that are anti moving

[36:57] your body in some way that will will get

[36:59] you get you a little bit of activity

[37:01] there. So anyway, these people were

[37:03] running up and down the stairs for for

[37:04] five minutes.

[37:05] I'm not doing that cuz my face is going

[37:06] to be like a tomato.

[37:07] We're going to get you outside walking

[37:08] around for five minutes and had them

[37:11] rate their energy afterwards. And

[37:13] basically they were around a nine.

[37:15] Wait, so you can go from like a three on

[37:17] energy to a nine in just 5 minutes.

[37:20] And you think this is crazy cuz like you

[37:21] just ran up and down the stairs, right?

[37:23] Shouldn't you be exhausted? But it turns

[37:24] out that physical activity, short bursts

[37:27] of at least before we have time to, you

[37:28] know, completely be exhausted like a

[37:30] marathon,

[37:32] makes us have more energy. And even an

[37:35] hour later, people were still rating

[37:38] their energy level around a six. So

[37:41] short bursts of physical activity boost

[37:44] your mood, give you more energy. You

[37:46] think about how much time and effort and

[37:48] money people spend to make themselves

[37:50] feel happier and more energetic. short

[37:52] bursts of physical activity can do it

[37:55] for free, right? And why 3M? Well, if

[37:59] you do track your energy during the day,

[38:03] many people in the morning, 8 a.m.,

[38:05] they've had that first cup of coffee,

[38:07] they can conquer the world,

[38:08] right?

[38:08] After lunch, you're not conquering the

[38:11] world anymore. You're kind of taking a

[38:13] nap at that point. You're

[38:14] pretending to work.

[38:14] You're pretending to work. 3 PM is when

[38:16] people reach a low point uh in terms of

[38:19] their measured energy levels during the

[38:21] workday. So if you haven't moved by 3

[38:25] PM, that is a very good time to get up,

[38:27] go take that brisk walk outside. You

[38:29] will come back actually able to focus

[38:32] for the rest of the day. Um and and

[38:34] hopefully get more done. Now, that's the

[38:36] obvious reason to to to do this rule is

[38:39] because physical activity is good,

[38:40] right? Taking short breaks is good.

[38:42] Well, and energy is good.

[38:44] You also write in the book that quote

[38:46] exercise doesn't take time it makes

[38:49] time. What does that mean?

[38:51] So the time you spend taking care of

[38:53] yourself and doing things like

[38:54] exercising, getting enough sleep within

[38:57] reason, this time will be paid back to

[39:00] you

[39:01] in terms of more energy.

[39:03] Because when you have more energy, you

[39:05] can get more done. I'm sure we've all

[39:07] had the experience of a task taking us 2

[39:09] hours instead of one because we were so

[39:12] lethargic. Whereas if you tackled it at

[39:14] a time of day when you had more energy,

[39:15] you get through it. Um the people who

[39:18] did that short burst of physical

[39:20] activity, if you think about it, they

[39:21] took five minutes to exercise,

[39:22] right? But I am guessing they got more

[39:24] done in 55 minutes where their energy

[39:27] was north of a six than they would have

[39:29] gotten done in an hour where their

[39:31] energy was a three.

[39:32] [snorts]

[39:32] Well, not only that, here's what I also

[39:34] want to unpack that I'm realizing

[39:37] because so much of your work and the way

[39:42] that your research has you look at time

[39:45] and experience time differently.

[39:50] What I'm gathering from this that

[39:52] exercise

[39:54] doesn't take time, it makes time. Is

[39:56] that if you take it as fact, because

[39:59] it's true, most of us have the

[40:00] experience that by 3:00 basically the

[40:03] gas tank is at zero. And when your

[40:07] energy is low, you don't feel like doing

[40:09] anything. And so you leave work feeling

[40:12] low. And then you arrive home and you

[40:14] feel like drained from work because your

[40:17] energy is at a zero and you're still on

[40:20] empty, which makes it more likely for

[40:23] you to waste time on nonsense because

[40:26] you have no energy to do things for

[40:30] yourself that would actually make you

[40:32] feel better. And so then you blame it on

[40:34] work that work drained you. And so what

[40:36] you're basically saying is no, no, no,

[40:37] no, no. If you understand that moving

[40:40] your body, yeah, it might take 5 minutes

[40:43] to take a walk around the block, but I

[40:44] always feel better after I do that in

[40:47] between interviews on the podcast, for

[40:49] example, and I do feel more energized.

[40:51] And it's not just that I'm more

[40:53] productive at work. I leave work feeling

[40:55] like work is done and then I feel like I

[40:58] have a little bit more time. Is that is

[41:00] that also why this works?

[41:02] Yes. when you can use that, you know,

[41:04] the hours of 3 to 5 to actually get

[41:07] things done. Well, you get more done.

[41:08] You don't have as much leftover work.

[41:10] When you were leaving work, you don't

[41:11] feel the need to work longer because you

[41:13] didn't get it done. Um, and it changes

[41:15] the whole feel of your day. But this is

[41:18] about being strategic about time, right?

[41:21] The deeper reason for this rule is not

[41:24] just because I think it's great for

[41:25] people to go walk around the block for 5

[41:26] to 10 minutes in the middle of the

[41:28] afternoon, even though I think that will

[41:29] be a life-changing habit if you build it

[41:31] into your day.

[41:32] It's because, you know, many of us spend

[41:34] a lot of our days sitting

[41:36] and you know, kind of going from meeting

[41:38] to meeting or things like that.

[41:41] Saying where can I put in a 5 to 10

[41:43] minute break in my day requires you to

[41:45] look at your day. It requires you to

[41:47] think about when things are going to

[41:49] happen and when you can take control of

[41:51] a little bit of your time. It means you

[41:54] look forward to the day and see, well,

[41:55] when is my energy going to be low?

[41:57] When can I proactively plan in a break?

[42:00] And you become more like the general

[42:03] surveying the battlefield, right? As

[42:05] opposed to just the soldier marching

[42:06] through it. You have more agency. And

[42:08] that might seem silly for a 5 to 10

[42:11] minute walk, but I promise that mindset

[42:13] is helpful for everything. I don't think

[42:15] that's silly at all because if you're

[42:17] somebody who's a teacher or you work in

[42:19] a hospital or you're a first responder

[42:22] or you have a retail job

[42:25] or like you run your own thing, I I

[42:28] think a lot of us have this experience

[42:30] that the second that you look at the

[42:32] first work email or you walk into the

[42:34] office or you start your work day, all

[42:37] bets are off. You're in complete

[42:39] reaction mode. And

[42:42] when you're in reaction mode, just like

[42:44] answering emails and running from one

[42:46] thing to the next, you're not actually

[42:48] present to your time or in control of

[42:50] it. And that's very draining. What

[42:52] you're basically saying is by simply

[42:55] saying, "Okay, I'm going to find a 5 to

[42:58] 10 minute slot in my workday to get

[43:01] outside or to do a couple squats or

[43:04] anything. take a break for crying out

[43:06] loud and get out of the chair and stand

[43:08] up and walk around the floor of the

[43:10] hospital for a minute. You're taking

[43:13] control of your time and that gives you

[43:16] a sense that you're not just at the

[43:18] effect of everything around you. Is that

[43:19] what you're saying?

[43:20] Yes. And I know some people's jobs are

[43:23] way more reactive than others, right?

[43:25] You know, there are jobs where you don't

[43:27] have a lot of control over what you are

[43:28] doing minute for minute. But even if

[43:30] you're in the sort of job where you know

[43:32] you get two 10-minute breaks a day when

[43:35] your manager tells you to go take your

[43:36] break, you can still think, well, what

[43:38] could I do during those two 10-minute

[43:40] breaks that would be rejuvenating? Now,

[43:42] maybe if you've been standing on your

[43:43] feet, you know, you're chopping lumber

[43:45] for a job or something like that that

[43:46] you probably don't need to go take a

[43:47] walk, but you can still think about what

[43:49] would make me feel more energized. And

[43:51] maybe it's reading a really good book

[43:53] for 10 minutes or it's calling a friend

[43:54] for 10 minutes as opposed to just

[43:56] picking up our phone and scrolling

[43:57] around. Well, I think that's the point

[43:58] is that, and this is your overall point,

[44:01] because we're not present to the 168

[44:04] hours that we have every week and how

[44:07] we're utilizing that time, we are not

[44:09] protecting these pockets of time for

[44:12] things that are important. And

[44:13] therefore, we reflexively fill it with

[44:16] nonsense by looking at our phone or

[44:18] doing other things that we don't even

[44:19] remember.

[44:20] When we think we have no time, we don't

[44:22] ask what we'd like to do with our time.

[44:24] Yes. But then when time does appear, we

[44:26] do whatever is easiest, which tends to

[44:28] be picking up the phone and scrolling

[44:29] around. Whereas when you have the story

[44:31] that I do have some time, I do have

[44:33] these small chunks of time that I can

[44:36] exercise discretion over, then you start

[44:38] to ask, well, what would I like to do

[44:39] with it? What would make me feel happy?

[44:41] What would make me feel energized? What

[44:42] would make me feel rejuvenated? And

[44:44] that's just a much more powerful

[44:45] question. I can give you a very simple

[44:47] example of one change that I've made

[44:51] that illustrates this point. I didn't

[44:53] even realize it relates to your

[44:54] research. When I'm standing in a line at

[44:57] a grocery store, I use that time to

[45:02] close my eyes and just practice the 4x4

[45:06] by4 breathing. You know, you breathe in

[45:09] 4 seconds, hold it 4 seconds, breathe

[45:10] out. It's and I don't reach for my

[45:15] phone. And I cannot tell you the

[45:18] difference that what seems dumb little

[45:22] habit of learning how to stand in a line

[45:26] and not distract myself and just be

[45:28] present to my breathing. How much peace

[45:31] that is brought into my life and how

[45:34] even in that moment it's almost like

[45:36] time expands.

[45:39] And the old me would stand in a line and

[45:41] get pissed off and frustrated and you

[45:43] know I'd be let them let them let and

[45:45] then I'd be looking at my phone

[45:47] but realizing no no no this is a pocket

[45:50] of time that you're talking about and if

[45:52] I'm aware that it's a pocket of time and

[45:54] that these small moments matter and what

[45:57] I fill it with can either bring me joy

[46:01] and peace or it can just be more

[46:03] mindlessness and distraction.

[46:06] you you do feel better and they add up.

[46:10] I love it. My iPhone tells me on Sunday

[46:13] morning how much time I have spent on it

[46:15] in the course of the week and so it

[46:16] sends me this note on Sunday morning of

[46:18] how much time I have spent. It's a bit

[46:20] of a, you know, moment of reckoning, I

[46:22] guess. Um, but it's always higher than I

[46:24] think it is. And it's because of moments

[46:26] like that, right? That you're standing

[46:27] in line at the grocery store or waiting

[46:29] to pick up a kid somewhere. You're

[46:31] waiting for a phone call to start. And

[46:33] what do we do at that time? We pull out

[46:35] our phones, start scrolling around.

[46:37] Nothing happened on the phone that you

[46:39] needed to look at. Even if something

[46:41] important is happening, if it you could

[46:42] have looked at it at a time when you

[46:44] were able to deal with it, right? The

[46:45] worst is you're getting some email that

[46:46] actually is important and you're like,

[46:47] "Well, I can't deal with it while I'm in

[46:49] the line at the supermarket." So now,

[46:50] not only am I uh still in line at the

[46:52] supermarket, I'm feeling anxious about

[46:54] the fact that I have this hot email

[46:55] here.

[46:56] Yes.

[46:56] Uh so, you know, consciously using bits

[46:59] of time for bits of joy will change your

[47:02] life.

[47:03] I agree with you. I really do. Your

[47:05] fourth rule of productivity is three

[47:08] times a week is a habit. What does that

[47:10] mean? Three times a week is a habit.

[47:12] So we think of our lives in days, but we

[47:15] actually live our lives in weeks.

[47:18] What do you mean? We talked about 168

[47:19] hours is the cycle of life as we

[47:21] actually live it.

[47:23] Tuesday and Saturday both occur just as

[47:25] often. Both have the same number of

[47:27] hours. And yet when you look at people's

[47:30] lives, they're often very different on

[47:31] on those two days. But the reason we

[47:33] need to think of our lives in terms of

[47:35] weeks is it allows us to see that even

[47:38] if things don't happen daily,

[47:40] they can still be a regular part of our

[47:43] lives. Well, this makes so much sense

[47:45] because I am one of those people that

[47:47] thinks in absolutes got to get to walk

[47:49] in every day. Got to make sure like and

[47:50] and if I miss a day or miss two days or

[47:53] something happens now, it's no longer a

[47:55] thing.

[47:55] People say to me, there are not enough

[47:57] hours in the day to get to everything I

[47:58] want to get to.

[47:59] Yes.

[48:00] And I totally agree. There are not

[48:01] enough hours in the day to get to

[48:03] absolutely everything you want to get

[48:04] to. But we don't live our lives in days.

[48:06] We live our lives in weeks. And by

[48:08] looking at the whole of the week, we see

[48:09] just how much space there is. So there's

[48:11] many things that people say they would

[48:13] like to do in their lives, they'd like

[48:14] to have in their lives, they would like

[48:15] to do more of in their lives and then

[48:17] they feel discouraged because they get

[48:19] to the end of the day and it didn't

[48:21] happen, right? you know, and and but

[48:23] when I have people look at their time

[48:25] and look at their schedules and thinking

[48:27] about these things that they want to do

[48:28] more of, often times people have done

[48:31] them once or twice in the course of the

[48:33] week, it feels like they never do them

[48:35] because they're looking at life in terms

[48:37] of days. And so most days, if you were

[48:39] doing something once or twice a week,

[48:40] well, you didn't do it. So, you feel

[48:42] like a failure. Like, oh, I'd like to

[48:43] have family dinners, but we didn't do it

[48:45] tonight, Tuesday night. So, I'm a

[48:47] failure. I want to exercise more. and I

[48:50] got to the end of this busy w Wednesday

[48:52] Wednesday and I didn't exercise. I am a

[48:54] failure. That is not a helpful

[48:57] conversation to be having with yourself.

[48:59] Here's the thing. If you're already

[49:01] doing something once or twice a week, it

[49:02] is pretty easy to get to three, you just

[49:05] have to add one more time, maybe. So, if

[49:08] you want to have family dinners, but

[49:11] between your work schedule, the kids

[49:13] activity schedules, you're not all

[49:15] sitting down 6:00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

[49:18] Nobody is unveiling a pot roast. Norman

[49:20] Rockwell style, right? But you look at

[49:24] your schedule and say, "Well, okay,

[49:25] actually, we're mostly having pizza

[49:26] together on Friday nights. You know,

[49:28] we're often having pancakes together on

[49:29] Sunday mornings." Now, all we need to do

[49:32] is find one more time.

[49:35] So, you look at the schedule for the

[49:37] upcoming week. You see, hey, most of us

[49:39] are going to be there on Tuesday night

[49:42] after a certain time. Maybe if we hold

[49:44] dinner till 7:30 on Tuesday, we can all

[49:46] eat together. And now you are a family

[49:50] that eats together regularly. Three

[49:51] times a week is a habit. It happens

[49:54] three times a week. It can be part of

[49:56] your identity. And I think the reason I

[49:59] came to this rule is one of the

[50:02] occupational hazards of writing about

[50:04] time management [laughter]

[50:06] is that people want to tell you about

[50:08] their great daily habits, right? You

[50:09] know, they're like, "Oh, I tell you

[50:11] about my great daily habit." I'm like,

[50:12] "Okay, let's hear about your great daily

[50:14] habit." And then people are telling me

[50:16] about this and it turns out that they

[50:19] usually do this habit Monday

[50:20] [clears throat] through Friday but that

[50:22] is not daily that is five times a week

[50:25] right and you get dig a little bit

[50:28] deeper and you know they're not doing it

[50:30] on vacations they're not doing it on

[50:32] holidays they're not so people are

[50:34] telling themselves they have this daily

[50:36] habit because it happens most of the

[50:38] time Monday through Friday but I think

[50:40] when we dig down we say you know that's

[50:42] probably three or four times a week so

[50:44] let's just start with the assump that

[50:45] we're trying to get to three or four

[50:46] times a week. Three times a week as a

[50:48] habit. It's so much more doable. Can be

[50:50] part of our identity. I love that. And

[50:52] what I also love is that it builds with

[50:56] the plan on Fridays cuz if you are

[50:58] taking Friday afternoon to look ahead

[51:02] and one of the things that brings you

[51:03] joy is to have dinner with family or

[51:07] friends and you can go, "Oh, okay. There

[51:09] are two nights where this works. Where

[51:11] can I find a third?" Now you're making

[51:14] it a habit. And so these things build on

[51:17] themselves. Very very cool. Rule number

[51:20] five of your productivity rules is

[51:23] create a backup slot. What what is it's

[51:26] like a rain date for your life? Like

[51:28] what what is that?

[51:29] Rain dates are one of the most brilliant

[51:32] scheduling inventions ever. If people

[51:34] are invited to an outdoor event, say in

[51:36] the summer, [snorts]

[51:38] the existence of a rain date, the hosts

[51:40] are acknowledging right there, that

[51:42] there is much that can go predictably

[51:44] wrong outside, right? It might rain, but

[51:47] by setting a rain, you increase the

[51:49] chances that the event happens even if

[51:52] not when originally planned. And I think

[51:55] there are a lot of things in life that

[51:56] we want to get to, but life happens and

[52:00] so we can't do it at the time we

[52:02] originally planned. But that doesn't

[52:04] mean we don't get to do it. We can

[52:08] create a rain date for it, right? We can

[52:10] create an example of how this works.

[52:12] Well, let's say,

[52:13] is this only with the big stuff?

[52:14] Well, let's say you want to exercise

[52:15] three times a week, right?

[52:17] And you carve out time somehow. You

[52:19] know, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday,

[52:21] you're going to do it. Then what

[52:22] happens? Tuesday, school nurse calls.

[52:25] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.

[52:26] And you have to go pick up your kid and

[52:28] the entire schedule for the day is off,

[52:31] right? You're like, "Well, I just can't

[52:32] exercise three times a week." But what

[52:34] if we set a backup slot for one of those

[52:37] times? We're going to have time carved

[52:38] out in our schedules on Tuesday,

[52:40] Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday for a

[52:43] workout. Now,

[52:44] you don't have to do it.

[52:45] You don't have to. Yeah. If the time is

[52:47] open, it's open. You do something else

[52:49] with it if you want. Right. But when one

[52:50] of those slots is taken away from you,

[52:52] yeah,

[52:53] you still have time. We should get in

[52:55] the habit of creating more open space in

[52:58] general

[52:59] in our schedules because that way when

[53:01] life happens,

[53:03] there is a place for things to go. So if

[53:07] you are, you know, have all these things

[53:09] that need to happen on Tuesday at work

[53:11] and again the school nurse calls, you

[53:12] have to go pick up your kid. Where do

[53:14] all those things go? Well, this is you

[53:17] know people out the window or people

[53:19] start borrowing time from the next week

[53:21] but next week is going to have crises of

[53:22] its own.

[53:23] Yes.

[53:24] Whereas if you have open time on Friday

[53:26] let's say

[53:27] the things that didn't happen Tuesday

[53:29] can go Friday. You are still on track

[53:33] you are not borrowing time from the next

[53:34] week. And when you have open space and

[53:38] things don't keep festering on the to-do

[53:40] list because even when life happens, you

[53:43] can get to the things that happened and

[53:45] the things you want to do. You start

[53:46] feeling less overwhelmed, right? Life

[53:48] starts feeling more calm like when you

[53:50] say you're going to do something in the

[53:52] week, you know probably it will happen

[53:54] because even if it can't happen at the

[53:56] time I originally planned, I have a rain

[53:57] date for it.

[53:58] Yeah.

[53:58] Right. And life starts feeling more

[54:00] calm. you feel like you are making

[54:02] progress on your goals and that's a much

[54:04] better place to be starting from.

[54:05] Rule number six is one big adventure,

[54:10] one little adventure. What What does

[54:13] that even mean? How do you do that?

[54:15] So, as adults, a lot of our life starts

[54:17] to feel pretty routine. You get up in

[54:20] the morning, get everyone off to school

[54:22] and work, collect everyone at the end of

[54:24] the day, go through the, you know, cycle

[54:26] of dinner or baths or homework, bed,

[54:29] wake up in the morning, do it all over

[54:31] again, right?

[54:32] And you forgot laundry and scrolling.

[54:35] We're going to put those in, too. But,

[54:36] but, you know, days aren't really

[54:39] distinguishable from another. And if if

[54:41] too much of this stacks up,

[54:43] there's nothing wrong with routines. I

[54:45] mean, routines make good choices

[54:46] automatic. So, I don't want to say that

[54:47] there's a problem with routines, but

[54:49] when too much of this sameness stacks

[54:51] up, whole years can disappear into these

[54:53] memory sink holes. You have no idea

[54:55] where the time went. But here's the

[54:58] thing. We don't say where did the time

[55:00] go

[55:01] when we actually remember where the time

[55:04] went.

[55:05] Okay, hold on. You don't say where did

[55:07] all the time go when you remember where

[55:10] the time went.

[55:11] And the reason we remember our time is

[55:13] because we have created memories.

[55:16] Okay. in our time. What creates

[55:18] memories? Doing things that are novel or

[55:21] intense. Okay. All right. So, this led

[55:25] me to this rule. One big adventure, one

[55:27] little adventure each week. So, each

[55:29] week we are going to aim to do two

[55:30] things that are a little out of the

[55:32] ordinary.

[55:33] Okay. And so, this would go into your

[55:34] Friday planning session.

[55:36] Friday planning, we're going to say

[55:37] looking forward to the next week. We're

[55:38] going to do three times a week as a

[55:39] habit. Where can I do things three times

[55:40] a week? But also, where can I build in

[55:42] one big adventure, one little adventure?

[55:44] Okay. Now, before anyone complains, a

[55:46] big adventure doesn't mean you have to

[55:48] fly off to Italy. Though, if you do,

[55:49] great. I mean, I'm I'm here for it.

[55:51] That's wonderful. But I'm just talking

[55:53] about a couple hours. Maybe half a

[55:55] weekend day is a big adventure.

[55:57] A little find that every week. A half a

[56:00] weekend day.

[56:00] We'll get to that.

[56:01] Okay, Laura. [laughter]

[56:03] [gasps]

[56:03] And a little adventure could be even

[56:05] less. It can be less than an hour. So

[56:08] doable on a lunch break, maybe a weekday

[56:10] evening, just as long as it is something

[56:13] out of the ordinary.

[56:14] Okay?

[56:16] And this is a cadence that is enough to

[56:18] make the week feel different. You know,

[56:20] this is the week that we went to the

[56:21] beach and went on that ferris wheel.

[56:23] Okay?

[56:24] This is the week where we tried that new

[56:26] gelato place. This is the week where I

[56:28] went to visit my friend in the next town

[56:30] over and we went to that used bookstore.

[56:33] This is the week where the new colleague

[56:35] and I walked around the block at lunch

[56:37] together. Okay. All right. Those those

[56:39] are the kind of adventures we're

[56:40] talking.

[56:41] Now, it's not a week like any other.

[56:44] It is a week with things that we

[56:46] remembered

[56:47] because they were different.

[56:49] And that can make time feel more rich

[56:51] and full. You know, it's true because so

[56:54] much of what you're doing in

[56:57] these strategies is just getting us to

[57:00] wake up and be aware that we do have

[57:02] time and to look ahead and to be

[57:06] intentional about what we're adding into

[57:08] it. Because if we don't add in these

[57:11] little pockets, whether it's family

[57:13] dinners or for me the things that came

[57:15] to mind is I need to go to a bookstore

[57:16] and get a page turner so I have

[57:18] something intentional to fill time with.

[57:20] and there's a ice cream place that I

[57:23] want to try that's near the studios that

[57:25] I want to do one day this week. Uh cuz

[57:28] that is something that I love. But that

[57:31] when you

[57:33] really start to do these in small and

[57:36] big ways, you are reclaiming your time.

[57:41] You are finding these pockets. And then

[57:43] that has this ripple effect that because

[57:46] you're now looking forward to something

[57:48] this week, it shifts your mood and

[57:49] energy around it. We want to always have

[57:52] things that we are looking forward to.

[57:55] And getting into this cadence where we

[57:57] are planning in adventures, things that

[57:58] you are genuinely looking forward to.

[58:01] You're doing two a week. Well, think

[58:03] about that. You've got a hundred things

[58:04] you are looking forward to in the course

[58:05] of the next year. You don't know what

[58:06] all of them are yet, but how exciting.

[58:08] It changes our perspective on ourselves.

[58:11] We're not just marching through the day.

[58:13] Yeah.

[58:14] Doing everything we have to do.

[58:16] We're the kind of people who do cool

[58:17] stuff. How exciting is that? And I

[58:19] notice you keep saying I'm the kind of

[58:21] person who There is something big that's

[58:25] shifting in the narrative and the story

[58:27] you tell yourself because if the story

[58:29] you tell yourself, which I did for most

[58:31] of my life, I have no time. I'm behind.

[58:33] I'm so stressed out. Like it's all for

[58:36] everybody else. I don't

[58:39] that leads you down one direction. And

[58:42] all of these nine little rules actually

[58:45] help you start telling a different

[58:47] story, which is I'm the kind of person

[58:49] that has a lot going on and I still make

[58:52] time to do fun things. I'm the kind of

[58:54] person who has a lot that I need to do,

[58:58] but I still find time to take care of

[59:00] myself.

[59:01] Once we have a story,

[59:02] yes,

[59:02] we look for evidence to support it.

[59:05] And so if your story is I have no time

[59:08] whatsoever,

[59:09] could you find a couple moments during

[59:11] the day where you feel incredibly

[59:12] crunched, where you feel overwhelmed,

[59:14] where you feel behind? Absolutely.

[59:15] All day long.

[59:16] All day long. Anyone can find those

[59:18] points of evidence. But if you have a

[59:19] different story, I have a lot going on

[59:22] and I have time that I can choose how to

[59:25] spend it. Well, you start to see that 5

[59:28] minutes in between phone calls

[59:29] completely different. You start to see

[59:31] the 15 minutes that you get home before

[59:33] the rest of your family completely

[59:35] differently. Now I have these pockets of

[59:37] time that I can choose how to spend. I'm

[59:39] the kind of person who makes great

[59:41] choices with this time. So I feel

[59:42] differently about my time in general.

[59:44] Yeah. And I don't have to use it rushing

[59:46] the laundry through because I can do

[59:48] that when I'm distracted doing something

[59:49] else. I can take these 15 minutes and go

[59:52] for a walk or sit down on the back deck

[59:55] or look by the window that's my favorite

[59:57] window, the apartment, and just take a

[59:59] minute because that's what's going to

[01:00:00] make me feel good. Oh, I love how this

[01:00:03] builds on each other. Rule number seven,

[01:00:06] take one night for you. What What is the

[01:00:08] impact of carving out a night for you

[01:00:11] going to do? I have to say this is the

[01:00:13] rule that I got the most push back from

[01:00:15] uh with busy people because what I want

[01:00:18] people to do is to take a couple hours a

[01:00:20] week could be a weekday evening but the

[01:00:23] equivalent of a couple hours a week to

[01:00:25] do something that is not work that is

[01:00:27] not caring for family members and that

[01:00:30] is intrinsically enjoyable for you.

[01:00:35] So we are talking some sort of hobby

[01:00:37] more or less right. I sing in a choir.

[01:00:40] Other people might play musical

[01:00:41] instruments or you know play pickle ball

[01:00:44] or anything like that. You can choose

[01:00:47] whatever you want that is intrinsically

[01:00:49] enjoyable to you. But I would really

[01:00:51] like people to choose something that

[01:00:53] gets them out of the house at a certain

[01:00:56] time every week and that involves a

[01:00:58] commitment to other people.

[01:00:59] Okay. Why? because that makes your fun

[01:01:03] rise up the hierarchy in your schedule.

[01:01:06] So when I teach this rule to people,

[01:01:08] they're like, "Yes, I need more me time.

[01:01:10] I'm going to take more bubble baths."

[01:01:12] Like, okay, let's see how that how that

[01:01:14] plays out, right? Because, you know, you

[01:01:17] decide, I'm going to take a bubble bath

[01:01:19] at even if you give it a specific time,

[01:01:20] you say, "I'm going to take Wednesday

[01:01:22] night at 7 p.m. I'm gonna have a bubble

[01:01:24] bath." What happens when work is running

[01:01:28] late on Wednesday night?

[01:01:29] I'm doing work. You're doing work. What

[01:01:31] happens when your kid wants you to drive

[01:01:32] them to the mall at 7:00 p.m. on

[01:01:34] Wednesday?

[01:01:34] I'm driving them to the mall.

[01:01:35] You're driving them to the mall. Things

[01:01:37] that can happen whenever tend to happen

[01:01:41] never, right? Your bathtub isn't going

[01:01:43] anywhere. So, you can always push it

[01:01:45] forward. Whereas, if you decide that

[01:01:48] you're going to play in a string quartet

[01:01:51] and they meet at 7 p.m. on Wednesday and

[01:01:54] you don't show up,

[01:01:56] they're a string trio. We have a problem

[01:01:58] here, right?

[01:01:59] Yes. So because of that, you will do a

[01:02:02] lot to make sure that you can be there

[01:02:04] at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday. You have

[01:02:07] worked out with a colleague that when

[01:02:09] work is running late on Wednesday, you

[01:02:10] will have covered for your colleague on

[01:02:12] Tuesday, so he covers for you on

[01:02:13] Wednesday. Yep. Right?

[01:02:15] The [snorts] kid who wants you to drive

[01:02:16] them to the mall knows not to ask at

[01:02:19] 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday because the

[01:02:20] answer is going to be no. Right? Because

[01:02:22] it is a commitment to other people, you

[01:02:25] will do it. And that way you are

[01:02:27] building this act of self-care into your

[01:02:30] life.

[01:02:30] Um, what is the excuse that people give

[01:02:35] you when they push back and are like, "A

[01:02:38] night for myself? I couldn't possibly do

[01:02:41] that. How's the house going to run?

[01:02:43] Who's going to take care of my like what

[01:02:44] do people say? Everything will fall

[01:02:46] apart without me." That is what people

[01:02:49] are basically saying. And this comes

[01:02:52] from different perspectives. Sometimes

[01:02:55] it's arrogance in disguise, right? That

[01:02:57] nothing can function without me. Just

[01:02:59] you can't hire good people these days,

[01:03:01] right? Like nobody can do anything what

[01:03:03] I do at home. [snorts] But it also can

[01:03:05] be fear, right? Like well, if I'm not

[01:03:09] necessary for absolutely everything at

[01:03:11] work, like, well, what's the point of

[01:03:13] me? They'll fire me tomorrow, right? Or

[01:03:15] if I acknowledge that people in my

[01:03:17] household can function without me, maybe

[01:03:19] they do things a little bit differently,

[01:03:20] but maybe they can function without me.

[01:03:22] Then it feels like, well, what's the

[01:03:22] point of me?

[01:03:24] But everyone has intrinsic worth apart

[01:03:27] from whatever you do. And I mean the

[01:03:29] truth is Earth is not going to crash

[01:03:31] into the sun if you take two hours to go

[01:03:34] play in your pickle ball league. Right?

[01:03:36] For the vast majority of us, most things

[01:03:39] will not change if you take an hour or

[01:03:41] two away to go do something for

[01:03:44] yourself. Now, I'm not promising that

[01:03:47] all the dishes will get done in exactly

[01:03:49] the way that you would have done them,

[01:03:51] but it won't be a crisis. the world will

[01:03:54] keep spinning

[01:03:55] and what will the person who's resistant

[01:03:58] to going back to a religious service uh

[01:04:01] you know like on a Wednesday night or

[01:04:04] volunteering for hospice on a Thursday

[01:04:06] what will happen in your life if you

[01:04:09] start to do this rule where you take one

[01:04:12] night for yourself

[01:04:15] this will allow you to see that you are

[01:04:16] not just a person

[01:04:18] who works and has caregiving

[01:04:20] responsibilities you are a person who

[01:04:24] does awesome things in the world and

[01:04:27] this can totally transform people's

[01:04:29] lives. We've talked about it how it

[01:04:31] doesn't take much time

[01:04:32] to make life feel entirely different.

[01:04:35] One story I remember for this um a woman

[01:04:38] who learned this rule. She was, you

[01:04:41] know, very busy, full-time job, spouse

[01:04:42] who worked, young kids. She decided to

[01:04:45] start playing tennis on Tuesday night.

[01:04:49] her husband had been encouraging her to

[01:04:50] find something she, you know, a hobby to

[01:04:52] to be less stressed and all that. First

[01:04:55] time she comes home, her husband's like,

[01:04:57] "You're glowing.

[01:04:59] You're glowing." All it took is a little

[01:05:01] more than an hour on a Tuesday night and

[01:05:04] it becomes like this tent post in the

[01:05:06] week. You build your life around that

[01:05:08] that requirement that you be there

[01:05:10] because it changes how you view

[01:05:13] yourself. I think a lot of us have had

[01:05:16] an experience where you sort of feel

[01:05:19] like I don't even know who I am anymore.

[01:05:21] And

[01:05:24] everything you're teaching us to me

[01:05:27] feels like a way to insert your spirit

[01:05:31] back into the pockets of time that you

[01:05:36] can find when you get intentional.

[01:05:39] because you're not going to be able to

[01:05:41] just take all 24 hours, but you can find

[01:05:44] 15 minutes, an hour here or there over

[01:05:47] the course of a week in order to start

[01:05:50] to feel like yourself again.

[01:05:51] Absolutely. And particularly when people

[01:05:53] are in phases of life like you have lots

[01:05:56] of young kids.

[01:05:57] Yes.

[01:05:57] Or you are caring for a family member

[01:06:00] who has a complicated medical condition.

[01:06:02] I get it's not going to be easy

[01:06:04] to take this time,

[01:06:05] but if you get support from the other

[01:06:08] people in your life, I'm guessing you

[01:06:11] can make it happen. You can trade off

[01:06:13] with your spouse. Like you offer to take

[01:06:15] Tuesday night, your spouse takes

[01:06:16] Wednesday night. Each of you gets one

[01:06:18] night for you. If that is not in the

[01:06:21] cards, maybe you trade off with a friend

[01:06:23] or family member, right? Like your

[01:06:24] neighbor takes the kids on Tuesday and

[01:06:27] you take the kids on Wednesday and each

[01:06:28] of you get a night off. And you know, I

[01:06:31] have people push back with this again

[01:06:32] with things like, well, I'm caring for,

[01:06:35] you know, a family member who has this

[01:06:36] complicated medical condition. I can't

[01:06:38] just walk off. I'm well, I'm not saying

[01:06:39] you can just walk off, right? We we do

[01:06:42] need to figure out the logistics, but

[01:06:45] it's kind of scary to me if nobody else

[01:06:47] can take care of this person, that's a

[01:06:49] bad situation. Something could happen to

[01:06:51] you. We need backup systems in general.

[01:06:53] Yeah.

[01:06:53] To to make sure that uh people are are

[01:06:56] cared for. And and so if you have that

[01:06:58] mindset, I think you can figure out a

[01:06:59] way to to take an hour for yourself and

[01:07:01] it will it will change how you see time.

[01:07:03] So tell me about rule number eight,

[01:07:06] which is give things less time.

[01:07:08] So many of us start to feel like we are

[01:07:11] carrying a huge mental load, right?

[01:07:13] There's all the things we need to

[01:07:14] remember to do and it's, you know, it

[01:07:16] adds up. The more complicated a life you

[01:07:19] have, the more things there are. And

[01:07:20] you'll be sitting there, you know,

[01:07:22] trying to focus on some deep work

[01:07:23] project. You're like, did I send in the

[01:07:25] permission slip? Did I, you know, answer

[01:07:27] that uh invitation to the meeting on

[01:07:30] Friday? Did I book the tickets for that

[01:07:33] trip next week? You know, all these

[01:07:34] things are in your brain.

[01:07:36] You just made me remember that I

[01:07:38] all the things you didn't do today that

[01:07:39] you're supposed to

[01:07:40] say, "Oh my god, two weeks ago I donated

[01:07:42] to the local library. I still have not

[01:07:44] filled out the form. Now I got to write

[01:07:46] a note and tell [laughter] Chris." Okay.

[01:07:47] Like I So, yes.

[01:07:49] Yes. Yes. We're carrying this mental

[01:07:50] load. And you know there's been many

[01:07:53] interesting things written about who

[01:07:54] carries what proportion of the mental

[01:07:56] load and I I am I'm here for that but

[01:07:58] this is not about that. This is about

[01:08:00] saying whatever proportion you are

[01:08:02] carrying. You can minimize the mental

[01:08:05] cost by batching these things.

[01:08:07] So instead of just doing it when you

[01:08:08] think of it you're working on a project

[01:08:10] you're like oh I need to send in that

[01:08:11] permission slip. just quick write it

[01:08:13] down somewhere and get back right back

[01:08:15] to what you were doing. And then do all

[01:08:16] these little tasks at a certain low

[01:08:19] energy time, right? When it's not your

[01:08:21] prime time, maybe 400 p.m. in the

[01:08:23] afternoon, take 30 minutes, plow through

[01:08:24] all of them so you're protecting your

[01:08:27] mental energy for the things that matter

[01:08:29] and you're still getting them done.

[01:08:30] So, do you like have like a little

[01:08:32] notebook with you or a note card or how

[01:08:34] do you manage those little things?

[01:08:35] I keep what I call a Friday punch list.

[01:08:37] You keep a Friday punch list.

[01:08:39] A Friday punch list. So a punch list,

[01:08:40] you know, you have a anyone had a huge

[01:08:42] home renovation project. At the end,

[01:08:43] they have all these tiny little tasks

[01:08:45] that they That's a punch list, okay,

[01:08:47] that the contractor has.

[01:08:48] It's not something you want to punch

[01:08:49] yourself because looking at it, but no,

[01:08:52] it's a Friday punch list. And I put all

[01:08:54] these little tasks that aren't

[01:08:56] immediately timesensitive, like they

[01:08:57] didn't have to get done right that

[01:08:58] second, but they do need to get done at

[01:08:59] some point, you know, in the next week

[01:09:01] or so. And then low energy time Friday,

[01:09:04] you know, planning the week, but I take

[01:09:06] a 30 minutes an hour and just try to

[01:09:07] plow through as many of these things as

[01:09:09] possible. And this does two things. I

[01:09:11] mean, one,

[01:09:13] it makes it take less time

[01:09:15] because when you are filling out three

[01:09:17] permission forms at one point as opposed

[01:09:19] to, you know, here and there and

[01:09:21] everywhere and ordering four birthday

[01:09:23] party presents at the same point, you

[01:09:24] just achieve economies of scale. All of

[01:09:26] this takes less time. But here's the

[01:09:29] thing. We often procrastinate other

[01:09:31] things we are doing, more difficult

[01:09:33] things we are doing by getting these

[01:09:35] easy wins. Like I'll be working on a

[01:09:37] project. It's it's not coming. I really

[01:09:39] need to think about it. I'm like, or I

[01:09:41] could just order this birthday present.

[01:09:44] It needs to happen at some point. Yes,

[01:09:46] maybe I'll just go do that and get the

[01:09:48] satisfaction of crossing it off my list.

[01:09:50] And I get it. I love crossing things off

[01:09:52] my list. Sometimes I add things to my

[01:09:54] to-do list just to cross them off. You

[01:09:56] know, after I've even done them, I put

[01:09:57] them on the list just so I can cross

[01:09:58] them off. You're sick. You're sick in

[01:10:00] the head.

[01:10:00] You've never done that. You've never

[01:10:01] done that either. [laughter]

[01:10:02] Well, I'm not that productive. That's

[01:10:04] why.

[01:10:05] So,

[01:10:06] you know, sometimes we want to deny

[01:10:08] ourselves the quick easy hit. Yes. That

[01:10:11] quick victory so we can really wrestle

[01:10:14] with the more difficult stuff and then,

[01:10:16] you know, plow through all of it at some

[01:10:18] other point. Well, plus if I now go find

[01:10:21] the form for the library thing or I take

[01:10:24] time to text it to Chris, my husband,

[01:10:26] and make it his problem, it takes me

[01:10:29] forever to get back to what I was doing.

[01:10:30] And so, I can see how a punch list of

[01:10:34] all these little things that you do at

[01:10:37] that slot on Friday, couple things

[01:10:40] psychologically happen. I can see that

[01:10:43] when I give time to these things that

[01:10:45] pop in my mind, I don't feel in control

[01:10:48] of my time. But when I make a list and I

[01:10:51] say, "Okay, this is important, but it's

[01:10:53] not important right now." I now suddenly

[01:10:55] feel like I'm the kind of person who

[01:11:00] uses Laura Vanderam's research and I am

[01:11:04] in control of my time because this is

[01:11:06] not that important right now and I will

[01:11:09] remember to do it in the slot that it's

[01:11:11] designated. So I can see how it changes

[01:11:14] the way that you think about yourself.

[01:11:15] Rule number nine, tell me about

[01:11:17] effortful

[01:11:19] before effortless.

[01:11:22] So there are two different kinds of fun.

[01:11:25] Effortless fun is stuff that doesn't

[01:11:28] require you to plan ahead. You can do

[01:11:31] whenever, however much time you want.

[01:11:33] You don't have to coordinate with

[01:11:34] anyone.

[01:11:34] Give me an example. What is that?

[01:11:35] Scrolling around on Instagram.

[01:11:36] Oh god, [laughter] it's so true. Yes.

[01:11:39] So in

[01:11:39] I don't have to plan to scroll on my

[01:11:41] phone.

[01:11:41] Instagram doesn't care what you are

[01:11:42] wearing. You can do it for 2 minutes.

[01:11:44] You can do it for 20 minutes. You can do

[01:11:46] it for two hours. Whereas effortful fun

[01:11:50] requires a little bit more effort,

[01:11:52] right? So reading a book or calling a

[01:11:55] friend, doing a puzzle, doing a hobby.

[01:11:59] And people always say, "Oh, I'd love to

[01:12:01] spend more time reading or talking with

[01:12:04] friends or doing a hobby if only I had

[01:12:07] the time." And yet you look at the

[01:12:10] screen time function on your phone. You

[01:12:12] may be spending 3 hours a day on your

[01:12:14] phone. I don't I where did that time

[01:12:16] come from? Well, it came in little bits

[01:12:17] of time and it came at very low energy

[01:12:19] times

[01:12:20] and so it was easy and effortless and

[01:12:22] you did it.

[01:12:23] Yeah.

[01:12:23] So, I'm not saying don't scroll around

[01:12:25] on Instagram. We're both on Instagram. I

[01:12:27] would love to have people there. Um, but

[01:12:31] challenge yourself

[01:12:33] to do just a little bit of effort full

[01:12:35] fun before the effortless. So, if you're

[01:12:38] picking up your phone when you are

[01:12:39] standing in line in the grocery store

[01:12:40] and you're not doing Mel's deep

[01:12:41] breathing, if you are picking up your

[01:12:43] phone, put the Kindle app on your phone

[01:12:46] and read an ebook

[01:12:48] for 3 minutes. And then if you want to

[01:12:51] stop and go on Instagram, great. Be my

[01:12:54] guest. But one of two things will

[01:12:56] happen. One of which is that you will

[01:12:59] keep reading the book because it was a

[01:13:00] good book and you want to see what

[01:13:02] happens. I mean, effortful fun is fun.

[01:13:04] It just takes a little bit of effort to

[01:13:06] do. going. Yeah.

[01:13:07] Or you know, you will go do the

[01:13:09] effortless fun, but then at least you

[01:13:10] got to do both.

[01:13:11] Yeah. I love that. Out of all of the

[01:13:14] rules that you talked about today,

[01:13:17] what

[01:13:19] do people resist doing the most and why?

[01:13:22] I really do think it is the rule about

[01:13:24] taking one night for you.

[01:13:26] It does seem impossible. Like I'm just

[01:13:28] going to say right now like one night a

[01:13:30] week, I don't know that I could find

[01:13:32] that. I really I was telling myself that

[01:13:34] story and then a couple years ago um I I

[01:13:38] used to sing in lots of choirs when I

[01:13:40] was younger and I decided I would like

[01:13:43] to get back into it.

[01:13:44] Okay. And I was tracking my time um and

[01:13:48] I looked at my schedule and I saw that a

[01:13:50] great many of my evenings were very

[01:13:52] nebulous. I mean it was half-heartedly

[01:13:55] hanging out with the kids but also kind

[01:13:57] of wishing they would sometimes leave me

[01:13:58] alone so I could do other things.

[01:14:00] Yeah, nothing much was happening. I was

[01:14:02] like, "Okay, could I do that with the

[01:14:04] kids six nights a week and one night I

[01:14:08] do something different?"

[01:14:11] So, I joined a choir meets 7:00 p.m. on

[01:14:14] Thursday nights. There's nothing

[01:14:17] flexible about being in a certain place

[01:14:19] at 7:00 p.m. on Thursday nights. Um, so

[01:14:21] it hasn't been easy, but I have

[01:14:24] structured my life to make it happen.

[01:14:27] And I think most people could do that.

[01:14:31] Maybe it's not a weekday evening. Maybe

[01:14:32] it's an hour on a Saturday morning.

[01:14:34] Yep. Yep. But it's sometime during the

[01:14:37] course of the week for something. And if

[01:14:39] you don't believe me, you don't believe

[01:14:41] me.

[01:14:42] Just try it, okay, for a couple of

[01:14:45] weeks. And if Earth crashes into the

[01:14:48] sun, I'm sorry. [laughter]

[01:14:51] I'm sorry. But I'm guessing you will

[01:14:54] find out that life keeps functioning and

[01:14:57] then you can keep having your fun and

[01:14:59] taking one night for you and life will

[01:15:02] feel different. I think life will not

[01:15:05] only keep functioning, I think you'll

[01:15:07] start functioning in a much more

[01:15:09] powerful and positive way. And that's

[01:15:11] the whole point of this because you

[01:15:12] start to feel like you're reclaiming

[01:15:14] your life. And I love the suggestion.

[01:15:16] Maybe it's Sunday morning. Maybe it's

[01:15:18] Saturday morning. one of my family

[01:15:19] members started going back to church and

[01:15:23] her family does not go with her. She

[01:15:25] does not care. This is something she

[01:15:26] does for herself

[01:15:27] and it really has been a very big

[01:15:30] positive thing in her life and it's one

[01:15:32] small thing that she does for herself.

[01:15:35] Um, if you had to recommend one of the

[01:15:40] rules that is the most important one, if

[01:15:44] you're only going to pick one, what do

[01:15:46] you think has the biggest bang for the

[01:15:48] buck that's easiest to imple? You know

[01:15:50] what I mean?

[01:15:50] I would say, oh boy, can I give two

[01:15:53] answers? Yes. Because giving a bed

[01:15:54] giving yourself a bedtime is absolutely

[01:15:56] transformative. And even if you do

[01:15:58] nothing else, that will make you feel so

[01:16:00] much more control of your time.

[01:16:02] Okay. Okay, then I think you'll just be

[01:16:03] inspired to go do the other eight rules.

[01:16:05] So, [laughter]

[01:16:06] I believe you.

[01:16:06] We can start with giving ourselves a

[01:16:08] bedtime. But I think rule number two to

[01:16:11] plan on Fridays to have a designated

[01:16:14] weekly planning time where you look

[01:16:15] forward to the next week and see what is

[01:16:18] most important, what you would like to

[01:16:20] see happen, what needs to happen, figure

[01:16:23] out your marching orders, figure out

[01:16:24] what you are looking forward to. That

[01:16:27] will make life feel so much more calm. M

[01:16:33] because I feel like certain phases of

[01:16:36] life, it's like you're canoeing down

[01:16:38] this rapidly moving river.

[01:16:41] Yep.

[01:16:42] And

[01:16:44] it's hard to know how to direct your

[01:16:46] canoe down there. And if you're just at

[01:16:47] the mercy of the rapids, you're going to

[01:16:48] be banged all over the place. But if you

[01:16:50] can [snorts] take just a little bit to

[01:16:52] get yourself over to the side in the

[01:16:54] calm, in the shallows, and see what's

[01:16:56] coming up, then you can direct your

[01:16:59] craft better. And that doesn't mean that

[01:17:01] those currents aren't there. It doesn't

[01:17:03] mean the rocks aren't there. But you see

[01:17:04] them. You have thought about them. At

[01:17:08] least the ones you can anticipate.

[01:17:09] You've thought about how you will deal

[01:17:11] with them. And that makes a more

[01:17:14] productive life possible.

[01:17:16] So cool. So Laura, if the person who's

[01:17:19] listening

[01:17:21] takes just one action from all of these

[01:17:27] simple yet powerful strategies that

[01:17:30] you've just taught us, what do you think

[01:17:32] the most important thing to do is?

[01:17:36] I think getting a sense of where the

[01:17:37] time really goes is the first step

[01:17:41] to making mindful choices about how to

[01:17:44] spend it more in service of the life

[01:17:47] that you would like. And so I know it is

[01:17:50] not tremendously fun to track your time,

[01:17:54] but maybe we can dangle the carrot out

[01:17:57] there of saying, I bet you will be able

[01:17:59] to find at least a little bit of time in

[01:18:01] your schedule for something you've been

[01:18:03] telling yourself you don't have time to

[01:18:05] do. And I would love to hear about the

[01:18:08] amazing and wonderful things that people

[01:18:10] do when they find even that 30 to 60

[01:18:13] minutes for some adventure that makes

[01:18:16] their life feel more wonderful. And so

[01:18:19] I'm I'm excited to hear what comes out

[01:18:20] of that.

[01:18:21] I am too. I am too cuz I think something

[01:18:24] really awesome is going to come out of

[01:18:26] that insight. Laura, what are your

[01:18:28] parting words?

[01:18:31] [clears throat]

[01:18:33] I think knowing where the time goes

[01:18:36] allows us to make more intentional

[01:18:39] choices. And time is so precious, but it

[01:18:44] is also plentiful, right? How [snorts]

[01:18:47] we spend our time is how we will spend

[01:18:52] our lives. And I know that time

[01:18:54] management gets this bad reputation. and

[01:18:56] it's about squeezing more in or about

[01:18:58] these these people, you know, have these

[01:19:00] elaborate routines that don't look like

[01:19:02] the rest of our lives. And that's fine

[01:19:04] for for them. But to me, time management

[01:19:08] is about being a good steward of these

[01:19:11] hours that I happen to have

[01:19:14] and I believe we can make life

[01:19:16] wonderful.

[01:19:17] Well, I am so excited by everything that

[01:19:21] you shared. I'm actually going to track

[01:19:24] my time. All right.

[01:19:26] And I will let you know what I discover.

[01:19:28] I'm afraid that I'm going to be

[01:19:30] confronted by the fact that I don't work

[01:19:32] as much as I complain that I do.

[01:19:34] Um, but I'm excited about

[01:19:36] finding

[01:19:38] time and getting more intentional about

[01:19:42] filling it with things that really

[01:19:44] matter. And I I cannot thank you enough

[01:19:47] for making the time to come here to our

[01:19:50] studios in Boston, for all of the

[01:19:52] research that you've been doing that has

[01:19:54] had a huge impact on my life and the

[01:19:56] lives of millions of people around the

[01:19:58] world, and for spending the time with us

[01:20:01] teaching us what we can do to take

[01:20:05] control of it. So, thank you. Thank you.

[01:20:07] Thank you.

[01:20:07] Thank you so much for giving me this

[01:20:09] opportunity.

[01:20:10] My pleasure. And I also want to thank

[01:20:11] you. Thank you for finding the time and

[01:20:15] making the time and spending it,

[01:20:17] watching or listening to this

[01:20:19] conversation which will improve your

[01:20:21] life. Laura is right. Your life is

[01:20:25] determined by what you pour your time

[01:20:28] into. And I am certain that these

[01:20:31] strategies that you and I learned today

[01:20:33] based on research will help you take

[01:20:35] your time back. And when you do that,

[01:20:37] your life is going to get better. It's

[01:20:39] going to feel like yours. And in case no

[01:20:42] one else tells you today, I wanted to be

[01:20:43] sure to tell you that as your friend, I

[01:20:45] love you. I believe in you and I believe

[01:20:47] in your ability to create a better life.

[01:20:50] All righty, I will be waiting for you in

[01:20:52] the very next episode. I'll welcome you

[01:20:54] in the moment you hit play. I'll see you

[01:20:56] there. Thank you for watching all the

[01:20:58] way to the end. I'm so fired up that you

[01:21:00] are here. I'm so fired up that you are

[01:21:02] sharing this with people. And I'll tell

[01:21:03] you one more thing that would [music]

[01:21:04] make me very fired up. Hit subscribe.

[01:21:07] You know, my team just showed me this.

[01:21:08] 57% of you who watch this are not

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[01:21:12] And it's a way that you can show us the

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[01:21:24] that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[01:21:26] [music] Thank you for sharing this

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[01:21:30] creating a better life for yourself. I

[01:21:31] love that for you. And I also think

[01:21:33] you're going to love this video. This is

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