# Steady Summer Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2yMrhgKHqA

[00:00] Hi and welcome to Steady Summer.
[00:03] You're listening to day one.
[00:05] Thank you so much for joining me.
[00:09] My name is Amanda and I run a business called Unmuddled.
[00:12] Um, I'm sure you already are familiar with me, but if not, just very quickly, I am a home educating mom of three and I run a business and I help other parents who are busy people to work out ways to better manage their days so that they can experience more joy and have better time of their days, their weeks, their months, and enjoy it more.
[00:30] So, welcome to Steady Summer.
[00:33] Whether you're listening with a cup of tea or you've got me in your ears while tidying up the kitchen, I'm so glad you're here.
[00:38] Um, please excuse my voice.
[00:41] I've on the tail end of a cold and so I'm still a bit horsearo, but bear with me.
[00:45] Um, you don't need me to tell you that summer as a freelancer or a small business owner can be a lot.
[00:51] Adding children, like it's there's so many things going on and there's part of you that wants to soak
[01:01] it all in.
[01:03] The long days, the slower mornings, right?
[01:05] Not having to wake up for an alarm.
[01:07] Maybe that time with your kids can be really special.
[01:11] and two things to be true at once.
[01:13] And you can also find yourself quietly wondering like, how am I actually going to make this work?
[01:16] What am I supposed to do?
[01:19] How am I going to hold it all?
[01:21] How much money is it going to cost to do all the things the kids want to do?
[01:25] And what happens when it all falls apart?
[01:28] Like, I know I know the kids going to end up arguing.
[01:30] Um, how do I stay calm?
[01:33] The tension is real, and you're not alone in feeling it.
[01:35] That's why I've created this steady summer series.
[01:37] Um, it's not to fix everything.
[01:39] It's not to make it perfect.
[01:42] Perfect doesn't exist.
[01:44] It's to help you find a way to make things fit a little bit better, right?
[01:48] To make it feel a little bit easier, lighter, more spacious even when things do still get messy.
[01:54] But just giving you those grounding things that are going to help.
[01:56] And all my best tips really for like getting through your days when you have
[02:02] your kids with you a lot and you're still trying to do some work maybe.
[02:06] So over five parts, I'm going to guide you through how to do that and some gentle like prompts and ideas for each day to help you design a kind of summer rhythm that supports your work, you being able to rest, your kids, enjoying time with your kids, and your whole self.
[02:26] So you don't need a whole schedule for this.
[02:28] You don't need a whole system.
[02:31] It's not going to be really intense, but I'm just going to give you some starting points.
[02:35] um some things to think about and you can of course as with anything I do use it however best fits for you.
[02:39] If just listening is works for you and you just want to listen and mull on the ideas that works.
[02:44] If not I've got um you know templates or you can do the the the worksheet the activities that I'm setting out right so use it how you would like.
[02:55] So part one of steady summer the first thing I want you to think about is what is the dream?
[03:00] Like what is
[03:03] The big picture?
[03:05] If you think about how you would love this summer to look, what are some things you would not want to miss, right?
[03:10] What are some like think about some words?
[03:12] Maybe if you do want to like write some things down, think about some words on how you want it to feel like um do you want it to feel like light?
[03:22] Do you want to feel really connected?
[03:24] Do you want to feel calm?
[03:26] Like what are the the things that you want to feel?
[03:28] If you imagine how it looks, do you want like long days in the woods with the kids?
[03:35] Like long days of adventures?
[03:38] Do you want days at home that feel really good?
[03:40] Like think about what you would love it to look look like, right?
[03:46] And when everything is swelling in your heads, your your your head, your plans, your ideas, your expectations, or your worries about it, it's almost impossible to feel grounded in that if you're holding 15 tabs open.
[03:54] Let's be honest, mine's like at 40 probably, right?
[03:59] If you're if you're holding all these tabs open in
[04:03] your brain, it's really hard to make sense of it.
[04:07] So, the first thing I would do is audio journal out.
[04:10] I do this like just you can do it in voice memos or whatever or you can do it to a friend or just like audio journal out all of the things that like how you want to feel, what you want to do.
[04:22] Um like what your worries are.
[04:24] Get it all out.
[04:26] And that is a really really good first step.
[04:27] I swear even if you just do this, you you're like, "Oh, okay.
[04:29] All right.
[04:32] I've got around out all of the things, right?
[04:33] Like, oh, I need to plan this or I want to do that or I'm feeling this.
[04:35] I want to be like this.
[04:39] Speak it all out.
[04:41] And then today, we're going to just think about gently like mapping the shape of your summer in a loose, flexible way.
[04:47] Not a full plan, just something of an outline so that your brain can breathe a little bit.
[04:52] um so you know what's coming so you can stop just reacting to stuff and and that doesn't mean that you can't just go with the flow you can of course but having something of it mapped out is really really helpful right so and this
[05:04] is the part I think that before I've probably skipped whereas going into this summer I feel really good because I have a plan for what my summer's going to look like and it doesn't mean that every single day is going to follow the trajectory right the the the the trajectory that is the ideal, but having it mapped out is is really helpful.
[05:27] So, um and when I say mapped out, please understand this is loose plans.
[05:32] This is not like, oh, I have to do this at this exact time.
[05:34] That has never worked for me because also I like to be able to all of a sudden be like, do you know what?
[05:39] I've decided actually we're going to do this today.
[05:40] So, it's just about getting out.
[05:43] So that's the first thing I would do is if I was doing my summer.
[05:46] So last um yeah, so last year I didn't do this and this year I've done this already and I feel much better.
[05:55] So get out your ideas and then this is the first thing that you can like do that you can get down in something of a plan.
[06:03] Um so if you you
[06:06] will see that I have got a PDF um like printable calendar.
[06:10] uh you'll have found it in the link in your email um or wherever you you found this if if you're watching this in a web page, you'll find it in there.
[06:20] Um you or you can just use your like Google calendar or whatever calendar you've got if you've got your own calendar.
[06:23] So grab a calendar of some sort um or I mean you can just jot it down notebook, but it's helpful if you've got something printed or something like dig digital.
[06:36] And then you're going to lightly map out kind of key things in the next six to eight weeks.
[06:42] So don't worry if you don't know everything that's going to be in there.
[06:43] And like I say, it's not you don't need to make a perfect plan.
[06:48] It's just to get a sense of the shape of your summer.
[06:50] So here's the first kind of things you can look at.
[06:55] So start by writing down or blocking out anything that's fixed in your in your calendar.
[06:57] And you might have already started doing some of these things if you have like holidays books or maybe you have childcare days books.
[07:05] So those are things you can think about.
[07:06] So holidays, right?
[07:09] So what days do you leave and what days do you come back?
[07:12] Any visitors that you might have.
[07:14] So if you have family visiting, if you have friends visiting, if you're going to visit other people, um think about anything like camps you might have or child care situations.
[07:23] if you have child care on certain days, um if you have child care swaps going on.
[07:31] And as you go through this, you might be thinking, "Oh, actually there's several things here I would like to plan in, but I haven't."
[07:35] Um go ahead and write those down separately in a notebook or something or on another piece of paper that is then that's something that you can actively do as well afterwards.
[07:46] And then think about also any days you're like, "Oh, I have to work on this day or I've got a client project or a deadline coming up on this day."
[07:53] Um if you have something that you yeah like if you have to be there for some kind of meeting or you have to be in the office on a certain day if you have an office or do you see what I mean?
[08:04] So anything then work related that is like oh actually
[08:08] this has a physical deadline.
[08:11] this has to get done a certain day etc.
[08:14] Or any days you're like okay I know I'm not going to be able to work on this day.
[08:17] go ahead and pop that in.
[08:20] Um any appointments anything like that.
[08:23] So, these are your kind of anchor points that we're going to then see what what what days do you actually have.
[08:30] Um, which days you trying to fill.
[08:33] And fill doesn't mean you jam-pack them full of stuff, but um it just helps to kind of see it all.
[08:38] And honestly, when I do this step, when I did this step like a few weeks back now, it was like, oh, okay, I feel better already just like seeing it mapped out.
[08:47] So, and we're in Italy at the moment.
[08:50] Um, we're living in Italy at the moment and the the summer holidays are long.
[08:53] Ours aren't as long because we're home educating and we can choose when our summer holidays are.
[08:59] However, it's so hot which is why people have holidays earlier because it would it's just so hard to get the kids to focus right now.
[09:05] So, um, we are having longer than than it would have been in the UK,
[09:10] but we're having a shorter holiday than most of the Italian kids.
[09:15] Anyway, um have a think about all of those things and whether or not you can get some stuff down into a calendar.
[09:24] That's your first thing.
[09:25] Now, if you're just listening to listen, you don't have to do that right now.
[09:28] You might want to do that later.
[09:30] But if you are listening along and you want to do stuff as you go along, then pause now and do that and then come back because we're going to keep going with part one, which is kind of the big picture, mapping it out.
[09:43] Okay.
[09:43] So, so far we've had a think about what we'd really love it to look like, what we'd love it to feel like.
[09:50] Then we are looking at the what are the fixed things in the schedule, right?
[09:54] So, where are we?
[09:54] What things have to go in there?
[09:57] Next, have a look and have a look around like where is there lightness and where is there things that feel more heavy.
[10:06] So, for example, if there's a week where you're like, okay, we've actually got nothing planned in there.
[10:09] you've got a
[10:11] light week there.
[10:14] Um or there'll be some maybe where you're like, "Oh, actually like it's really like there's a lot going on that week."
[10:20] Have a look and see if there's anything because what we want to do or what you can do what you like,
[10:25] but what I would recommend is if you is we can create different kinds of days, right?
[10:31] Like um whether those just live in our heads or we actually get them out is up to us, but like you can actually create a day.
[10:39] So you can be like, "Oh, this is an at home calm day.
[10:44] Uh, this is a adventure day.
[10:49] Um, I I struggle with like a lot of pain in my body sometimes.
[10:51] Recently it's been better, but sometimes it's quite bad.
[10:55] And so if I'm know that I'm taking the kids out or to be honest, even if you're not struggling with any of that, say for example, you've got a day and you know, oh, I'm taking the kids to a water park, the next day you're going to be like, right, I'm going to make sure that day is rest day and I'm not going to plan stuff in and I'm going to use the stuff you that we talk about in the next parts of this um
[11:13] to kind of give those days structure if I need them to have structure.
[11:18] But have a look to see where's the like natural kind of pauses and where are the things that are heavier.
[11:23] So you might notice that you can group your summer into phases.
[11:27] So for example like if the first two weeks are quite busy with travel or family or something like that and then you have maybe two weeks at home that's quite quiet and then ramps up again towards the end.
[11:39] So that kind of awareness gives you power.
[11:41] So have a look now and see where are the where are the lighter parts of your month month your six weeks eight weeks however long your holidays is and where are the heavier parts and then you can go ahead and plot in you can call it what you want a calm day right or an at home day or something around the bits where it's really heavy so at the end so for example if you come back from holiday that the next day, have that as a calm day, have that as a home day.
[12:12] And
[12:14] when we go into part two, we're going to talk about like planning the rhythms of like days, right?
[12:22] Um, but even if you've got that like, okay, I'm going to put these certain days in in here in there.
[12:28] Yeah, that is really helpful.
[12:31] So have a look and see um where you can now plot out throughout that 6 to 8 week, however long period it is.
[12:40] Okay, these are going to be my chill days or like some of it might be a hybrid day.
[12:44] Maybe you travel and then you're going to chill and you might have more details.
[12:46] Um, maybe it's going to be like an adventure day and it's going to be something you you you do um outside the house.
[12:54] Or maybe it's going to be like, oh, it's going to be a half and half day and we're going to do some relaxing at home and some adventuring.
[13:02] And you might not need very you might not need all these different day categories for yourself.
[13:06] But what you might want is you might just want like to take one of those ideas.
[13:10] She might be like, "You know what? I know my kids.
[13:14] Um, they really need the calm down time after an like something big like a all day at a water park.
[13:22] Um, or it might be just for you're like, I'm going to need a day at home after a water park.
[13:25] I don't know about you, but like water parks I find so exhausting.
[13:29] We went to one recently.
[13:30] I was so exhausted the day after.
[13:34] Anyway, um, so if you can, yeah, schedule in a like more relaxed day after things like that.
[13:37] So maybe you just use the calm days one or maybe you just use the like, oh, these are the adventure days because my kids really crave adventure and I know they need to get out of the house.
[13:48] And you're going to plot in a few days here and there where you might want to adventure days.
[13:52] Now, you might not know yet if you're like, actually, if you're looking at it and you're thinking, well, I would like to maybe take the kids to somewhere and so that might be an adventure day.
[14:04] Um, you and I don't know what what price the tickets are going to be or whatever.
[14:07] You can always just put something in for now.
[14:09] You can always move it.
[14:10] It's not a big deal.
[14:12] But that's what we're going to do like later on is we're going to look
[14:14] at those and actually get stuff planned.
[14:16] in with the idea being that like you book stuff in.
[14:18] So say for example, and apparently lots of people do this, but I'm really bad at doing this, so I'm hoping that you listening to this is like you're like, "Oh yeah, I don't really do this either."
[14:29] And actually this is really helpful.
[14:31] And you're not like, "Well, of course everyone does this."
[14:32] But um even things like for example when you go to um like museums now in London you I noticed that sometimes in the holidays they're like quite booked out.
[14:43] So I making sure that you can book something in time right that's something that's free but you might still have to book right so the idea is that then if we plan in when's going to be our adventure days or whatever we can then get those things planned in.
[14:57] So have a look and decide if you want.
[14:59] Yeah.
[15:01] What kind of days you want adventure days, calm at home days.
[15:03] Actually, most of our days are going to be a hybrid day where we have some time at home and have some day where we get out to the park.
[15:08] Um you've pro you might have some holiday days in there.
[15:10] If you don't have holiday days, if you can't afford to do holiday
[15:16] days or you can't afford to do I can't afford to do big days out um with the kids like at those things, you might want to think about, you know, other like you might want to think about what does that adventure day look like, right?
[15:29] But that's coming up next.
[15:31] So, don't worry about that.
[15:32] We're going to cover that in um another section.
[15:37] So, that's it for this section.
[15:40] Um that's it for today.
[15:42] I want you to just think about like it's a kind of an easy overview of the next few weeks ahead and what it could look like.
[15:51] Um are you going to if you have like say um now you're like oh I've got loads of space in my calendar.
[15:56] I don't know what I'm going to fill it with with the kids.
[15:59] I would totally recommend doing something like okay we're going to alternate calm adventure days and then we're going to have a half and a half day or maybe it's better for you and your kids you know them the best.
[16:10] um that all of it's going to be half and half days, right?
[16:12] So, you can come up with better names if you want to call it something different, but don't worry about getting it perfect.
[16:17] The map's allowed to change and you're not carving it in stone.
[16:21] If you're doing this on like a digital planner, do it in, you know, you can just move it around.
[16:26] Um I've got the templates in the email or you can print it out and you can write it in pencil.
[16:32] Like these things don't, they're not set in stone.
[16:34] Um, and when you can see the shape of what's ahead, it's just so much easier to shape your days in a way that supports you instead of constantly reacting to them.
[16:45] So, next part we're going to build on this, right?
[16:48] And we'll be look at looking at the types of days you'll be having and how to kind of build those.
[16:53] So knowing what kind of day you're in and what you could use to kind of create scaffolding in that day to make those run really smoothly,
[17:04] she says run more smoothly than they could, then um that's what we're going to look at for the next section.
[17:09] So join me for part two.
[17:11] For now, just pause, take a breath.
[17:14] This is the first part of it.
[17:16] Um, go ahead and grab some kind of
[17:21] template and get out all your thoughts was the first thing.
[17:25] Get out all of your thoughts of like, this is what I'm worried about.
[17:27] This is what I want to do.
[17:28] This is what I need to book.
[17:29] Blah blah blah blah.
[17:32] Get that all out onto an audio voice note so it's out of your brain and into something that you don't have to hold in your head.
[17:36] Um, the second thing to do is to get out a calendar of some sort.
[17:41] um and start by writing down anything that's fixed.
[17:43] And then you're going to look at where are the lighter and heavier weeks and where can I add in certain types of days.
[17:50] So create one to three types of days for yourself.
[17:52] Um give them a name and go ahead and just pencil, not pen, pencil them in so that you have an idea of what could be um coming up over your holidays and come back for part two.
[17:56] See you then.