# If She Threatens to Cheat, It’s Already Happened

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG9teI77rHs

[00:00] Look, here's here's the thing.
[00:02] If she has the mentality of cheat first before getting cheated on, she's already doing it usually because women with that kind of mindset is they just want to get there first.
[00:15] They want to make sure that, you know, they're not the ones that got cheated on.
[00:20] They've already got it got in there first and therefore they're going to be hurt less when they find out because in their mind they're thinking I already did it.
[00:27] Now, my question to you would be why do you want to be with somebody who's cheated on you in the past, is clearly you don't trust again yet, what and you live far away, um what's your motivation?
[00:41] Okay.
[00:43] Thing is uh back then cuz we I moved away from her for a bit.
[00:52] You see?
[00:53] Uh so I didn't like end the relationship like officially with her, tell her that yo, it's over or whatever, which I
[01:01] believe that and I take accountability.
[01:03] That's selfish of me.
[01:05] Um, I was literally literally on the side working on myself, especially when it comes to my emotional intelligence.
[01:15] I was meditating a lot, but just trying to stay like away from her, but half of me was not away fully from her.
[01:22] You see?
[01:29] So because of we we from the same town, we'd meet up and I'd be like, "Ish, man, you know, I still like her.
[01:38] I still like her, but she did this.
[01:44] Okay, let's see if this time it might work because I was also still I didn't even think about oh, yo, yo, she might come she she she might lose respect or whatever, but it was more of I still like you.
[02:01] We can do it again.
[02:01] And also
[02:02] We can in your relationship.
[02:04] Relationships don't work by liking the person.
[02:07] That's not how relationships work.
[02:08] They work by both people liking each other equally.
[02:11] So, you a lot of men forgive their wife or their girlfriend for cheating because they still love her.
[02:17] They still want her.
[02:19] They're still attracted to her.
[02:21] But that's not what's going to make the relationship work.
[02:22] What's going to make the relationship work is if she feels the same way about you.
[02:26] And whenever you're more invested in a person than they are in you, it gives them a permission slip to kind of do what they want because they know you're not going anywhere.
[02:34] Now, that doesn't mean you have to break up in any way, shape or form, but my advice is when you catch your partner cheating, let them cheat in peace in future.
[02:42] Simple.
[02:44] Like if I catch my husband cheating on me, there is no point me saying, "Are you going to cheat again?
[02:48] Do we trust again?
[02:50] Do we do that?
[02:50] The proof is there.
[02:52] You cheated.
[02:52] So, the better thing for me to do is say to myself, "Okay, I love him.
[02:55] I don't want to leave him.
[02:58] If I forgive him, I'm going to be with him.
[03:02] But it's stupid of me to monitor if they're going to be faithful or not.
[03:03] Because they're probably not.
[03:07] And so, the better thing to do is accept the reality of the situation, which is this person is unfaithful.
[03:11] No problem.
[03:12] I still want to be with them.
[03:13] No problem.
[03:15] I have to accept their terms and conditions because they're the ones that's proving that I'm needy.
[03:20] I'm the needy one.
[03:22] I'm the one that wants this relationship more than they do.
[03:26] I'm the one that is fighting for this a lot more than they are.
[03:30] So, therefore I have to accept their terms and conditions.
[03:32] And usually their terms and conditions is ask no questions going forward.
[03:36] Don't ask, I won't tell.
[03:38] So, the new relationship that has to occur after somebody has been caught cheating is I've signed the contract that maybe it will happen again, but I love you enough to work through it and pretend I don't know.
[03:50] That's the reality of when you take back a cheater.
[03:53] Now, you can work through it and make the person not do it again and blah blah, but that's on them.
[03:58] That's up to them if they want to do that or not.
[04:00] But, we, as the person who accepts it, has to accept it.
[04:05] Mentally, you have to get to the mindset that it might happen again.
[04:11] It probably will happen again.
[04:13] I just have to hope and pray they come to the conclusion that they don't want to do that again.
[04:16] But, it might.
[04:18] And that's a more realistic way going forward when you forgive somebody for cheating.