How Alan Harper Got Royally Screwed | Two and a Half Men
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0RG06YB6aA
[00:14] Oh, cool.
[00:17] Oh, cool.
[00:20] Now that was quick.
[00:21] Now that was quick.
[00:22] Yeah, like every other time Judith screwed me.
[00:26] like every other time Judith screwed me.
[00:29] What happened?
[00:30] What happened?
[00:31] What happened? I'll tell you what happened.
[00:33] My settlement conference turned into a drive-by colonoscopy.
[00:35] turned into a drive-by colonoscopy.
[00:35] That's right.
[00:40] Charlie, have you ever heard of a divorce agreement that requires the ex-husband to pay the ex-wife's dry cleaning for life?
[00:41] Charlie, have you ever heard of a divorce agreement that requires the
[00:42] divorce agreement that requires the ex-husband to pay the ex-wife's dry
[00:45] ex-husband to pay the ex-wife's dry cleaning for life?
[00:47] cleaning for life?
[00:47] Wow.
[00:47] Yeah.
[00:51] Not just clothes, drapes, rugs,
[00:52] rugs, slip covers,
[00:55] slip covers, even suede.
[00:57] even suede.
[00:59] Sounds like she really took it to the cleaners, huh?
[01:02] Sorry.
[01:04] Sorry.
[01:06] So, I uh I fired Laura and tore up the agreement.
[01:08] agreement. Going to have to find a new attorney and just start all over.
[01:10] attorney and just start all over.
[01:13] Oh, good then.
[01:13] No harm, no foul.
[01:13] Except for the thousands of dollars of
[01:15] Except for the thousands of dollars of extra legal fees.
[01:17] Extra legal fees.
[01:17] Oh, yeah.
[01:19] That's got to sting a little, huh?
[01:19] Not as much as having to buy Judith's parents a retirement condo in Boca Raton.
[01:24] She didn't even ask for that.
[01:27] Laura just threw it in.
[01:31] Lawyers.
[01:33] But you know what the uh the interesting thing is?
[01:37] No. What?
[01:37] Uh after it was all over and uh Judith and her attorney went dancing out of the room,
[01:41] I asked Laura why she had done this to me and she said, and I quote, "Ask your brother."
[01:52] So here I am asking you why, Charlie?
[02:00] Why did my very expensive Beverly Hills divorce lawyer sell me out?
[02:08] Okay. I'll tell you the whole story, but maybe you should sit down first.
[02:41] Men, men, men.
[02:45] Men, men, men.