# 5 Practical Ways to Take Control of Your Life | Jim VandeHei | TED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4sq1CKPl0E
Translation: zh-CN

[00:03] I want you to spend the next 10 minutes being absurdly self-indulgent,
  我希望你在接下来的10分钟里极度放纵自己，

[00:08] which is advice I would almost never otherwise give people.
  这是我几乎从不给别人的建议。

[00:12] I want you to not think about the things you can't control.
  我希望你不要去想那些你无法控制的事情。

[00:16] AI, politics, your parents, your social media feed,
  人工智能、政治、你的父母、你的社交媒体动态，

[00:20] your Tinder alerts.
  你的Tinder提醒。

[00:23] By locking in on you for the next 600 seconds,
  通过在接下来的600秒里专注于你，

[00:26] I'm very confident that you're going to walk away
  我非常有信心你将获得

[00:29] with what I think is the single best hack for longevity, purpose
  我认为是延长寿命、实现目标和过上我们想要的生活的最佳秘诀，

[00:33] and living the type of lives that we want to live.
  而过上我们想要的生活。

[00:37] First, who is this middle-aged dude preaching a gospel of self-indulgence?
  首先，这个宣扬放纵主义的中年男人是谁？

[00:44] Well, the 20-year-old version of me,
  嗯，20岁的我，

[00:46] I'm very confident, was a much less impressive version of you.
  我非常有信心，是我一个远不如你令人印象深刻的版本。

[00:52] Three years into college,
  读大学三年级时，

[00:53] I had a 1.491 grade point average that I was dragging around.
  我的平均绩点是1.491，一直拖累着我。

[00:58] I was smoking a pack of Camel Lights a day.
  我每天抽一包骆驼牌香烟。

[01:01] I was drinking prolifically.
  我酗酒成性。

[01:03] At night, I was delivering pizzas in my diesel VW Rabbit.
  晚上，我开着我的柴油大众Rabbit送披萨。

[01:08] I was remarkably unhealthy, and I was remarkably unremarkable.
  我非常不健康，而且非常平庸。

[01:13] Within a decade,
  十年之内，

[01:14] I'm interviewing presidents,
  我采访总统，

[01:17] I’m covering the White House for The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post.
  我为《华尔街日报》和《华盛顿邮报》报道白宫新闻。

[01:22] Soon after, I’m starting and running companies.
  不久之后，我开始创办和经营公司。

[01:22] First Politico, then Axios.
  先是Politico，然后是Axios。

[01:27] So what the hell happened?
  到底发生了什么？

[01:29] And in those dark times and in now, some very good times,
  在那些黑暗的时期以及现在的一些非常美好的时光里，

[01:34] I really tried to become a student of what does it take to be successful and what makes great people great?
  我真的努力去学习，了解要取得成功需要什么，以及是什么让伟大的人变得伟大？

[01:41] What brings them real success?
  什么给他们带来了真正的成功？

[01:45] And there is a commonality to all of them.
  他们都有一个共同点。

[01:49] That all of them maniacally focus on controlling life's variables that you can control.
  他们都疯狂地专注于控制生活中可以控制的变量。

[01:57] You control you.
  你控制你自己。

[02:00] That became my mantra,
  这成为了我的座右铭，

[02:02] and that became my map for life.
  这成为了我人生的地图。

[02:05] When I watched these people,
  当我观察这些人时，

[02:07] whether they were teachers, doctors, entrepreneurs --
  无论他们是老师、医生、企业家——

[02:10] Every day, they were maniacal about constructing their success and constructing their greatness piece by piece, day by day, on their terms.
  日复一日，他们狂热地按照自己的意愿，一点一滴、一天一天地构建他们的成功和伟大。

[02:21] If we're being honest, a lot of us just surrender to others or to other things.
  如果我们说实话，我们中的许多人只是屈服于他人或他物。

[02:28] We say, well, we can't do that because of my parents, my childhood, my circumstances, my DNA, my crappy luck.
  我们说，嗯，我们做不到，因为我的父母，我的童年，我的处境，我的基因，我的糟糕运气。

[02:38] We just can't do it because we're under control of others or other things.
  我们就是做不到，因为我们被他人或他物所控制。

[02:42] And it's just BS.
  这简直是胡扯。

[02:44] And it's just not a good way to live.
  而且这也不是一种好的生活方式。

[02:46] You control you, it's just a much better, brighter way to live.
  你控制你自己，这是一种更好、更光明的活法。

[02:51] And so I want to walk you through five different things that you can do that are free, that you can start today and that are available to every single person in this room.
  所以，我想带你了解五件你可以做的事情，它们是免费的，你可以今天就开始，而且在座的每个人都可以做到。

[03:02] You control today.
  你掌控今天。

[03:06] From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, you have scores of decisions to make that only you make.
  从你醒来的那一刻到你睡觉的那一刻，你有无数的决定要做，而这些决定只有你能做。

[03:13] Do you doomscroll, or do you meditate?
  你是在刷负面新闻，还是在冥想？

[03:16] Do you eat Lucky Charms, or do you eat a healthy breakfast?
  你是吃幸运符麦片，还是吃健康的早餐？

[03:20] When someone snaps at you, do you snap back,
  当有人对你发脾气时，你会不会也发脾气，

[03:22] or do you show a little bit of grace?
  还是会展现一点点风度？

[03:24] At night, do you get hammered, or do you get some sleep?
  晚上，你是烂醉如泥，还是会睡一觉？

[03:29] You make each one of those decisions.
  这些决定都是你自己做的。

[03:31] And every one either leads to happiness and feeling better about yourself,
  每一个决定都会带来快乐和自我感觉良好，

[03:35] or sadness and feeling like crap.
  或者带来悲伤和糟糕的感觉。

[03:37] Nobody wants to feel like crap.
  没有人想感觉糟糕。

[03:39] So how did I get from Oshkosh and my 1.491
  那么我是如何从奥什科什和我的1.491

[03:44] to DC and then having some success?
  来到华盛顿特区并取得一些成功的呢？

[03:47] It was studying other people who were smarter than me,
  那就是研究那些比我聪明的人，

[03:51] who were better than me, more talented than me,
  比我优秀，比我有才华的人，

[03:53] better read than me,
  比我博学，

[03:54] who just knew a lot more than me, who were healthier than me.
  比我懂得多，比我健康的人。

[03:57] And then I tried to copy them.
  然后我试图模仿他们。

[03:59] If they read a book I hadn’t read, I read it.
  如果他们读了一本我没读过的书，我也会去读。

[04:01] Or if they used a word I’d never heard in Oshkosh,
  或者如果他们用了我在奥什科什从未听过的词，

[04:03] I wrote it down on a piece of paper, and I would work it into my vocabulary.
  我就会把它写在纸上，并将其融入我的词汇。

[04:07] If they were fitter than I were, I'd try to copy their habits.
  如果他们比我更健壮，我会尝试模仿他们的习惯。

[04:11] I started to take control of what we can control.
  我开始控制我们能控制的事情。

[04:14] You control you.
  你控制你自己。

[04:17] You control your reactions.
  你控制你的反应。

[04:19] The best advice I ever got was five words:
  我收到的最好的建议是五个字：

[04:22] It's pretty easy to do the next right thing.
  做下一件正确的事相当容易。

[04:27] It's really hard to be a good person.
  做一个好人真的很难。

[04:29] It's hard to be moral.
  做一个有道德的人很难。

[04:31] It's hard to do all the things right.
  要把所有事情都做对很难。

[04:36] And if you do that,
  如果你那样做，

[04:38] if you do things that would make you proud,
  如果你做的事会让你自豪，

[04:40] your parents proud, your kids proud, your friends proud,
  让你的父母自豪，让你的孩子自豪，让你的朋友自豪，

[04:43] you do that and then do it again,
  你那样做然后重复去做，

[04:44] suddenly, you're a pretty good person.
  突然间，你就成了一个相当好的人。

[04:47] And then if you do it in bad times,
  然后如果你在困难时期这样做，

[04:50] you could become a great person.
  你就能成为一个伟大的人。

[04:52] My personal motto of the last 15 years is:
  我过去15年的个人座右铭是：

[04:54] When shit happens, shine.
  当倒霉事发生时，闪耀。

[04:56] Meaning, in the worst of times, when really bad things happen,
  意思是，在最糟糕的时候，当真正坏事发生时，

[05:01] that's when I really want to do the next right thing.
  那才是我真正想做下一件正确的事的时候。

[05:04] That helped me through one of the hardest periods
  那帮助我度过了最艰难的时期之一

[05:07] of my professional life.
  在我职业生涯中。

[05:08] I had started Politico, it was my baby.
  我创办了Politico，那是我的心血。

[05:10] And it's emotional.
  而且这很伤感。

[05:11] And, you know, like a lot of these start-ups, it was a success.
  而且，你知道，就像很多初创公司一样，它成功了。

[05:14] And then there was turmoil, and I felt like I had to leave.
  然后就陷入了混乱，我觉得我不得不离开。

[05:20] And I could have said and done things
  我本可以说了做了一些事

[05:23] that would come back to haunt me.
  那些事会回来困扰我。

[05:24] In every minute of every day during that period, I thought,
  在那段时间里的每一天，每一分钟，我想，

[05:27] I'm going to do the next right thing.
  我要做下一件正确的事。

[05:30] I'm not going to do things that are going to come back and hurt me or haunt me.
  我不会做那些会回来伤害我或困扰我的事。

[05:34] And it helped me get there.
  这帮助我做到了。

[05:36] Three, you control your reality.
  第三，你控制你的现实。

[05:41] That might sound weird, but you do.
  这听起来可能很奇怪，但你确实可以。

[05:44] What you read, what you watch, what you listen to.
  你读什么，你看什么，你听什么。

[05:47] That forms your reality.
  那构成了你的现实。

[05:50] Your podcasts, your YouTube channels, your newsletters, your friends.
  你的播客，你的YouTube频道，你的新闻通讯，你的朋友。

[05:54] It's all a reality-shaping machine.
  这一切都是一个塑造现实的机器。

[05:57] The inputs affect your outputs.
  输入影响输出。

[06:00] If you're inputting a lot of misery,
  如果你输入了很多痛苦，

[06:03] a lot of doom and gloom,
  很多厄运和沮丧，

[06:05] a lot of trivial stuff,
  很多琐碎的事情，

[06:07] you might be a doomy and gloomy kind of person and kind of trivial.
  你可能会成为一个悲观沮丧和有点琐碎的人。

[06:12] But change that.
  但要改变它。

[06:13] If you control your reality,
  如果你控制你的现实，

[06:16] All you got to do is realize, listen, there's more good, high-quality information available to everybody in this room than at any point in humanity.
  你所要做的就是认识到，听着，在这个房间里的每个人都能获得比人类历史上任何时候都多的、高质量的信息。

[06:25] It's all free, and it's not even close.
  这一切都是免费的，而且差距非常大。

[06:28] If there's something you're curious about, you can Google it or ChatGPT it.
  如果你对某事感到好奇，你可以谷歌搜索它或用ChatGPT搜索它。

[06:32] If you want to know what Elon Musk thinks or Mel Robbins would advise or Taylor Swift feels, there's probably a podcast or a video or an interview with them.
  如果你想知道埃隆·马斯克怎么想，或者梅尔·罗宾斯会给出什么建议，或者泰勒·斯威夫特有什么感受，很可能就有他们的播客、视频或采访。

[06:42] You can search that, you can change the inputs.
  你可以搜索它，你可以改变输入。

[06:45] You can put healthy, edifying content into your mind, have a better reality that you then share with other people.
  你可以将健康、有益的内容输入你的大脑，拥有一个更好的现实，然后与他人分享。

[06:54] Four, you control how you're seen.
  四，你控制着别人如何看待你。

[06:58] This one might seem a little too absurdly self-indulgent, but it's actually a magic trick.
  这一点可能看起来有点过于荒谬地放纵自己，但它实际上是一个魔术。

[07:07] When you're in a group setting, especially if it's tense or it's emotional, think about how other people are experiencing you.
  当你身处群体环境中，尤其是在紧张或情绪化的场合，想想别人是如何体验你的。

[07:16] The way I do it is I almost envision myself having this out-of-body experience.
  我这样做的方式是，我几乎想象自己拥有这种灵魂出窍的体验。

[07:20] Watching me through the eyes of others.
  通过他人的眼睛看着我。

[07:23] Our own eyes deceive.
  我们自己的眼睛会欺骗我们。

[07:25] Our own eyes lie.
  我们自己的眼睛会撒谎。

[07:27] But if you look at how other people feel and experience you,
  但如果你看看别人如何感受和体验你，

[07:32] then you know the impression that you're leaving,
  那么你就知道你留下的印象，

[07:34] that you want to leave.
  你想要留下的印象。

[07:37] And it really helps you, I think,
  而且我认为，这真的能帮助你，

[07:39] be the person you want to be
  成为你想成为的人

[07:41] and have other people experience you as the person that you want to be.
  并让别人把你当作你想成为的那个人来体验。

[07:45] This technique helped me through
  这项技巧帮助我度过了

[07:47] what was probably the hardest period of my life,
  可能是我一生中最艰难的时期，

[07:50] but the most wondrous period of my life.
  也是我一生中最奇妙的时期。

[07:52] It’s about seven years ago, and we adopted a teenage boy,
  大约是七年前，我们收养了一个十几岁的男孩，

[07:56] and I had two teenagers already at home.
  而我家里已经有两个十几岁的孩子了。

[07:59] And he had lost his parents,
  他失去了父母，

[08:02] it was a rough part of his life.
  那是他生命中一段艰难的时期。

[08:03] And he's a young guy doing what you do when you have a rough period of life.
  他是个年轻人，在人生的艰难时期会做你所做的事情。

[08:07] And I remember thinking, you know what?
  我记得当时我在想，你知道吗？

[08:09] He's going to be watching me,
  他会看着我，

[08:11] my kids are going to be watching me,
  我的孩子们会看着我，

[08:13] my wife's going to be watching me.
  我妻子会看着我。

[08:14] If I show love,
  如果我表现出爱，

[08:16] if I show forgiveness, if I show persistence, if I show grit,
  如果我表现出宽恕，如果我表现出坚持，如果我表现出毅力，

[08:22] that's going to echo through how they experience what we're going through.
  这将回响在他们如何体验我们正在经历的事情上。

[08:26] And if I'm rattled or I'm pessimistic,
  如果我心烦意乱或悲观，

[08:29] it would have an opposite consequence.
  这将产生相反的后果。

[08:32] And that process, I really believe,
  而且我认为，这个过程，

[08:35] had a very small part in turning my son into this amazing, thriving, grateful college athlete today.
  在我儿子今天成为一名了不起的、茁壮成长的、心怀感激的大学生运动员的过程中，起到了很小的作用。

[08:44] And I think that applies to all of us.
  而且我认为这适用于我们所有人。

[08:47] The fifth thing that you control is you control your destiny.
  你控制的第五件事是你控制你的命运。

[08:51] You control where you're going.
  你控制你要去哪里。

[08:54] One of the things I hate the most is when I run into people
  我最讨厌的事情之一就是当我遇到人们时，

[08:57] and they just feel they're like a bobber or a log on a river, and you just have to go with the current.
  他们觉得自己就像河上的浮子或木头，你只能随波逐流。

[09:04] It's not true.
  这不是真的。

[09:05] You get to control where you go.
  你可以控制你要去哪里。

[09:07] You can control if you want to go against the current,
  你可以控制是否要逆流而上，

[09:11] if you want to go upstream.
  如果你想向上游去。

[09:13] That is fully in your control.
  这完全由你控制。

[09:16] And I want to end today with a writing assignment.
  我想以一个写作任务来结束今天。

[09:20] Not that you need to do right now, but maybe do it later today or later this week.
  不一定需要你现在就做，但也许今天晚些时候或者本周晚些时候可以做。

[09:24] I want you to imagine yourself on your deathbed, thinking about your life.
  我想让你想象一下自己躺在临终病床上，回想你的一生。

[09:30] And did you live a life that you were proud of?
  你是否过着你引以为傲的生活？

[09:33] Did you live a life that you could feel, "You know what? I did it my way."
  你是否过着一种可以让你感觉，“你知道吗？我按照自己的方式做到了。”的生活？

[09:37] I did it the right way.
  我以正确的方式做到了。

[09:41] And write down the three things that it would take for that answer to be: “Yes, that was it. I lived the life I wanted to live."
  然后写下需要做哪三件事才能让答案是：“是的，就是这样。我过着我想要过的生活。”

[09:48] Then write down the three things that it would take to do that between now and then, to actually achieve the life that you want to achieve.
  然后写下从现在到那时需要做哪三件事，才能真正实现你想要实现的生活。

[09:57] That's your North Star.
  那就是你的北极星。

[09:59] That puts you ahead of 95 percent on Earth in terms of taking ownership of what you want to do with your own life.
  这让你在掌控自己想做什么方面，领先于地球上95%的人。

[10:07] Man, I'm blessed.
  天哪，我真幸运。

[10:09] I grew up, I had four grandparents who lived in my hometown.
  我长大了，我的四位祖父母都住在我的家乡。

[10:13] I have two parents who are still alive.
  我的父母健在。

[10:16] I have an amazing wife, three wondrous children and tons of really great friends and colleagues
  我有一个很棒的妻子，三个可爱的孩子，还有许多非常好的朋友和同事。

[10:22] Who poured a lot of knowledge and a lot of love into my life.
  谁将大量的知识和大量的爱倾注到我的生活中。

[10:27] Richard Powers, in his book "Bewilderment," says,
  理查德·鲍尔斯在他的书《困惑》中说，

[10:30] maybe the purpose of life is about leaving little pieces of ourselves behind in others.
  也许生命的意义在于将我们自己的一小部分留在他人身上。

[10:36] And I hope today that I've left a little piece of what all those people poured into me, with you,
  我希望今天我将那些人倾注在我身上的东西留下了小小一部分给你们，

[10:42] and that you can leave little pieces of yourself in many others,
  你们也可以将自己的一小部分留在许多其他人身上，

[10:46] and you can do it because you control you.
  你们可以做到这一点，因为你们掌控着自己。

[10:49] So get ’er done.
  所以，行动起来吧。

[10:52] Thank you.
  谢谢你。