# 【三日免費】 (07/21) Just Say No?  就說不？

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFT0Rm0NV7A
Translation: zh-TW

[00:00] Advanced studio classroom is on the air.
  高級錄音室教室正在廣播中。

[00:13] Cannabis, fentanyl, nicotine, vaping, all these things are available now and how do we help our teens to avoid them?
  大麻、芬太尼、尼古丁、電子煙，這些東西現在都買得到，我們要如何幫助青少年避免接觸它們？

[00:35] Let's discuss.
  我們來討論吧。

[00:35] Hello everyone, welcome back to Advanced studio classroom.
  大家好，歡迎回到高級錄音室教室。

[00:40] My name is Campbell and back in the studio I have my good friends Heather and Anne Marie.
  我是坎貝爾，回到錄音室的是我的好朋友希瑟和安妮·瑪麗。

[00:44] Hello ladies.
  女士們好。

[00:45] Hi.
  嗨。

[00:46] Hey.
  嘿。

[00:46] It's great to be here today.
  今天能來到這裡真好。

[00:48] All right, we have been talking about our parenting article for this month and we've talked been talking about how to teach our teens to just say no, but in a more effective way.
  好的，我們一直在討論這個月的育兒文章，而且我們一直在談論如何教導青少年說不，但要用更有效的方式。

[00:58] Right?
  對吧？

[00:58] So Anne
  所以安妮

[01:00] Marie, what was something that you learned from yesterday's article?
  瑪麗，你從昨天的文章學到了什麼？

[01:03] Well, it is not necessarily something that I learned, but something that I do believe and our article put it into words for me.
  嗯，這不一定是學到的東西，而是我本來就相信、而文章幫我表達出來的事。

[01:13] It's this idea that connection matters more than control.
  就是這個概念：連結比控制更重要。

[01:16] Relationships with our kids matter more than putting rules on them.
  與孩子的關係比對他們施加規則更重要。

[01:21] Yeah, and I feel like that's not just with substance use.
  對，我覺得這不只是關於藥物使用。

[01:23] No, that's just with parenting in general.
  不，這在教養上普遍適用。

[01:26] Yeah.
  對。

[01:27] I think with anything you're trying to teach them, you know, whether it's to be kind, whether it's to have confidence, whether it's to step out and take risks and or to have discipline and practice the piano that they don't want to practice, you know, whatever it is, trying to get them to live the best life that they can, connection matters more than control.
  我認為無論你想教他們什麼，你知道，無論是善良、自信、踏出舒適圈冒險、還是自律去練他們不想練的鋼琴，你知道，無論是什麼，想讓他們過最好的生活，連結比控制更重要。

[01:46] Definitely.
  絕對是。

[01:46] Yeah.
  對。

[01:48] Okay, Heather, what about you?
  好，希瑟，你呢？

[01:51] What was something that you picked up from yesterday's lesson?
  你從昨天的課程中學到了什麼？

[01:54] I also really appreciated the idea of connection being more important than control, but something else that I really think is a very helpful reminder for parents, but also just adults in
  我也非常認同連結比控制更重要的概念，但另一件我認為對父母、甚至對成年人來說都是非常有幫助的提醒是

[02:02] General, you have more influence than you think.
  將軍，你的影響力比你想像的還要大。

[02:04] So, even if you're not a parent, I am not, you still can influence the children that are in your life and you can make good decisions.
  所以，即使你不是父母，我也不是，你仍然可以影響你生活中的孩子，並且你可以做出好的決定。

[02:13] Well, you should make good decisions and hopefully that will they'll see that.
  嗯，你應該做出好的決定，希望他們會看到這一點。

[02:16] 100%.
  百分之百。

[02:16] I think that is absolutely right.
  我認為這完全正確。

[02:19] You know, we all have certain amount of influence.
  你知道，我們都有一定程度的影響力。

[02:22] You know, we're all teachers.
  你知道，我們都是老師。

[02:24] So, as teachers, the things we say carries a certain amount of weight, you know, and you know, and I think as parents also, you know, we have a certain amount of influence and the thing is as we get older, like Emery you were saying yesterday, our goal is to get them to be more independent and more mature.
  所以，作為老師，我們說的話有一定分量，你知道，而且你知道，我認為作為父母也是，你知道，我們有一定程度的影響力，問題是隨著我們變老，就像Emery你昨天說的，我們的目標是讓他們變得更加獨立和成熟。

[02:41] So, eventually our influence should wane.
  所以，最終我們的影響力應該減弱。

[02:45] Mhm.
  嗯哼。

[02:46] At least the day-to-day influence, but the truth is the things that we speak to them now when they're young becomes their voice in their heads later on.
  至少是日常的影響力，但事實是，我們現在在他們年輕時對他們說的話，後來會成為他們腦海中的聲音。

[02:55] We have this really unique privilege to shape our kids and mold them while they're young.
  我們有這個非常獨特的特權，在孩子們年輕時塑造和培養他們。

[02:59] And then, you know, if we're doing it correctly, we hope that
  然後，你知道，如果我們做得正確，我們希望

[03:04] That sticks and that becomes their inner voice.
  那會留下來，成為他們的內心聲音。

[03:06] Yeah.
  是的。

[03:06] Now, obviously as parents, we are flawed.
  現在，顯然身為父母，我們都有缺陷。

[03:09] None of us are perfect and we do make mistakes and you know, one of the most important things is when we do make mistakes is to own up to them and to speak to our children and to apologize.
  我們沒有人是完美的，我們確實會犯錯，而你知道，最重要的事情之一就是當我們犯錯時，要坦誠面對，對我們的孩子說出來並道歉。

[03:22] And I think that goes a long way to building that relationship.
  我認為這對建立那段關係大有幫助。

[03:25] Yeah, cuz how can we expect our kids to do the right thing and apologize if we're not willing to do it ourselves?
  是啊，因為如果我們自己不願意做正確的事和道歉，我們怎能期望我們的孩子做到呢？

[03:30] Right.
  對。

[03:30] And the thing is as parents, I feel like children are the biggest mirror, right?
  而且事情是，身為父母，我覺得孩子是最大的鏡子，對吧？

[03:38] You know, so many times I'm like, "Why are you speaking like that to your sister? Why are you doing that?"
  你知道，很多時候我心想：「你為什麼那樣對你妹妹說話？你為什麼那樣做？」

[03:44] And then I look closely at what they're doing and I'm like, "Oh, that's because that's how I spoke to you."
  然後我仔細看他們在做什麼，我心想：「哦，那是因為我就是那樣對你說話的。」

[03:47] Sometimes I hear my words come out of their mouth and I'm like, "I need to make a change."
  有時候我聽到我的話從他們嘴裡說出來，我心想：「我需要做出改變。」

[03:54] [laughter]
  [笑聲]

[03:54] Yeah.
  是的。

[03:54] So, parenting is not for the faint of heart.
  所以，為人父母不是膽小的人能做的事。

[03:57] Let's say that, okay?
  我們就這麼說吧，好嗎？

[04:00] And one of the big things that I was reminded of recently is I get to parent these
  而我最近被提醒的一大件事是，我有機會養育這些

[04:07] Children.
  孩子們。

[04:10] I get to love on these children.
  我能夠愛這些孩子。

[04:11] Um, and it's not that I have to.
  嗯，這不是因為我必須這麼做。

[04:14] Mhm.
  嗯哼。

[04:14] It's a privilege.
  這是一項特權。

[04:16] It's a privilege, especially, it's a privilege since I prayed.
  這是一項特權，尤其是我祈禱之後的特權。

[04:18] Right.
  對。

[04:19] To be a parent for this.
  為此成為父母。

[04:20] Yes.
  是的。

[04:20] [laughter]
  [笑聲]

[04:21] Exactly.
  正是如此。

[04:23] This is something we wanted.
  這是我們想要的。

[04:25] Yes, I asked God to give me children, and so he did, and now I have to deal with it.
  是的，我祈求上帝賜給我孩子，祂也應允了，現在我必須面對這一切。

[04:28] Mhm.
  嗯哼。

[04:28] Um, and it's a privilege, and it is an amazing privilege to be able to raise people and to teach them how to navigate this life.
  嗯，這是一項特權，能夠養育他人並教導他們如何應對人生，是一項了不起的特權。

[04:39] But how do we do that in a way that is effective?
  但我們要如何有效地做到這一點呢？

[04:42] Well, yesterday we learned some tactics about talking to them before the issues actually arise, and talking to them often, and being open and honest, and vulnerable, right?
  嗯，昨天我們學到一些策略：在問題真正出現前與他們溝通、經常交談、保持開放、誠實和脆弱，對吧？

[04:54] And that helps to build that connection.
  這有助於建立那種連結。

[04:56] Well, we have some more advice for all of us today.
  嗯，今天我們還有更多建議要給大家。

[04:59] Let's get into our article, and then we can discuss further.
  讓我們進入文章內容，然後再進一步討論。

[05:03] [music]
  [音樂]

[05:11] Pay attention.
  請注意。

[05:13] Substance use looks different now than it did a generation ago.
  現在物質使用的情況與上一代相比已經不同了。

[05:18] While alcohol is still the most commonly used substance among teens, cannabis use, especially in the form of vapes or edibles, is increasingly common.
  雖然酒精仍然是青少年中最常使用的物質，但大麻的使用，尤其是以電子煙或食品的形式，越來越普遍。

[05:27] Nicotine vaping has also surged in recent years.
  尼古丁電子煙在近年也大幅增加。

[05:32] Staying informed about what teens are actually using can help you have more meaningful conversations.
  了解青少年實際使用的物質，能幫助你進行更有意義的對話。

[05:37] When teens sense they are up to date on what's happening in their world, they're more likely to take you seriously.
  當青少年覺得你了解他們世界裡發生的事，他們更有可能認真對待你。

[05:44] Sometimes, it's hard to tell whether a teen is experimenting or truly struggling.
  有時候，很難判斷青少年是在嘗試還是真的在掙扎。

[05:52] If you notice changes in mood, sleep, appetite, school performance, or friendships, bring it up with your pediatrician.
  如果你注意到情緒、睡眠、食慾、學業表現或友誼方面的變化，請與你的兒科醫生討論。

[05:59] Pediatricians are trained to screen for substance use and mental health concerns.
  兒科醫生受過訓練，能夠篩檢物質使用和心理健康問題。

[06:05] In addition, teens often feel more comfortable talking to a doctor than to a parent.
  此外，青少年通常覺得和醫生談話比和父母談話更自在。

[06:09] One of the most important goals in
  其中一個最重要的目標在

[06:11] Adolescence is delaying substance use for as long as possible.
  青春期是盡可能延遲使用物質的時期。

[06:17] The earlier a teen starts using substances, the more likely they are to develop a substance use disorder later in life.
  青少年越早開始使用物質，他們日後越有可能發展成物質使用障礙。

[06:30] All right.
  好的。

[06:33] So, the first advice for today is to pay attention.
  所以，今天的第一個建議是要留意。

[06:37] It says substance use looks different now than it did a generation ago, right?
  它說現在物質使用的樣貌與上一代不同，對吧？

[06:44] So, what are some of the things that people are using these days?
  那麼，現在人們在使用哪些東西呢？

[06:47] All right.
  好的。

[06:49] Well, we saw here in this first part that teens are using cannabis, especially in the form of vapes or edibles.
  嗯，我們在第一部分看到青少年正在使用大麻，尤其是以電子煙或食用品的形式。

[06:58] So, vaping, of course, is when you are inhaling a vapor.
  所以，電子煙當然是指你吸入蒸氣。

[07:02] Mhm.
  嗯哼。

[07:02] And then edibles is something that you physically eat.
  而食用品則是你實際吃下的東西。

[07:07] And with cannabis, we often talk about like gummies or things like that, or brownies, things like that, yeah.
  而關於大麻，我們常提到像軟糖之類的東西，或者布朗尼之類的，對。

[07:12] So, I mean, this is a big difference, right?
  所以，我的意思是，這是一個很大的差異，對吧？

[07:14] Cuz I think when I was growing up in in high school and college, with cannabis or or weed, that we call it, it was more like joints, right?
  因為我認為在我成長過程中，在高中和大學時，大麻或我們稱之為weed的東西，更像是大麻煙捲，對吧？

[07:22] Whereas like they would roll it in paper and then they would burn it like a cigarette.
  而他們會把它捲在紙裡，然後像香煙一樣點燃它。

[07:25] But now it's more vapes and edibles, putting it in gummies and food, right?
  但現在更多是電子煙和食用品，把它放進軟糖和食物裡，對吧？

[07:32] Okay.
  好的。

[07:35] What has also surged in recent years, Heather?
  近年來還有什麼也激增了，Heather？

[07:36] Um along with cannabis vaping, nicotine vaping is also um the rise, and that is being seen as like a substitute for smoking traditional cigarettes.
  嗯，隨著大麻電子煙的使用，尼古丁電子煙也在增加，這被視為傳統香煙的替代品。

[07:46] Right.
  對。

[07:48] Yeah, and I think in the early days of vaping, people thought it was maybe healthier, right?
  是的，我認為在電子煙早期，人們認為它可能更健康，對吧？

[07:53] But I think recent studies have shown that actually it's worse for you than traditional cigarettes.
  但我認為最近的研究顯示，實際上它比傳統香煙對你更糟。

[07:59] Uh so, knowing that these are the common things that are happening and and what is more commonly used among teens allows you to be able to be more informed.
  呃，所以，知道這些是常見的情況，以及青少年中更常使用的是什麼，能讓你更有資訊。

[08:09] And
  而且

[08:13] Why is that so important?
  為什麼那件事這麼重要？

[08:15] Well, I think that, in my opinion, Campbell, there is nothing new under the sun.
  嗯，我認為，依我的看法，坎貝爾，太陽底下沒有新鮮事。

[08:21] Yes.
  是的。

[08:21] The shape that these things are taking might be different.
  這些事物呈現的形式可能不同。

[08:24] Yes.
  是的。

[08:24] And we might view it as something totally different than what we experienced, but to be honest, there's always going to be these kind of temptations.
  我們可能將其視為與我們經歷過的事完全不同，但老實說，這類誘惑總是會存在。

[08:32] Yes.
  是的。

[08:33] So, we can't use that as an excuse to say, "This is new. I don't know how to talk to my kid about this."
  所以，我們不能以此為藉口說：「這是新的。我不知道該怎麼跟我的孩子談這個。」

[08:39] I mean, come on, we've we've all dealt with temptations as adolescents, and using that experience to build a relationship with our kids and talk to them about it is just such a better way to go.
  我的意思是，拜託，我們在青少年時期都處理過誘惑，而利用那段經驗來與我們的孩子建立關係並與他們談論這件事，是更好的做法。

[08:49] Yes, for sure.
  是的，當然。

[08:50] And I think being able to speak specifically to what they are using helps you to feel like you are more up-to-date, right?
  而且我認為，能夠具體談論他們正在使用的東西，會讓你覺得自己更跟上時代，對吧？

[09:02] And that you're not so out of touch, right?
  而且你沒有那麼脫節，對吧？

[09:04] So, for example, if I start talking like to my kids and saying, "Oh, have you ever, you know, do you know about weed? Or do you know about, you know, rolling a joint?"
  所以，舉例來說，如果我開始跟我的孩子說：「哦，你有沒有，你知道，你知不知道大麻？或者你知不知道，你知道，捲大麻煙？」

[09:11] They'd be like, "What is that?"
  他們會說：「那是什麼？」

[09:12] Because if you're like talking about these passé things or things that are out of date, they're just like, "What are you talking about?
  因為如果你在談論這些過時的東西或落伍的事情，他們就會說，「你在說什麼？

[09:13] Yeah, you know?
  對吧，你知道嗎？

[09:13] But if I talk about
  但如果我談論

[09:14] Maybe vaping, or they talk about, you know, you know, edibles and things, maybe they feel like, "Oh, wow, okay, so he is informed, and he is more up-to-date on what's happening in their world, and they're more likely to take you seriously, right?
  也許是電子煙，或者他們談論，你知道，你知道，大麻食品之類的東西，也許他們會覺得，「哦，哇，好吧，所以他見多識廣，而且他對他們世界裡發生的事情更了解，他們就更有可能認真對待你，對吧？

[09:34] Nobody does that anymore, you know?"
  沒有人再那樣做了，你知道嗎？」

[09:37] Um, and so then maybe they're not going to take you as seriously, right?
  嗯，所以也許他們就不會那麼認真對待你了，對吧？

[09:42] Okay, but there is a challenge sometimes, right?
  好吧，但有時候會有一個挑戰，對吧？

[09:44] It says sometimes it's hard to tell whether a teen is experimenting or truly struggling.
  它說有時候很難判斷一個青少年是在嘗試還是真的在掙扎。

[09:48] What are we talking about here, Heather?
  我們在這裡談論的是什麼，Heather？

[09:51] So, experimenting is just trying.
  所以，嘗試就只是試試看。

[09:54] So, I guess trying these different substances and seeing how, just to experiment and to see, like, to experience it.
  所以，我想嘗試這些不同的物質，看看效果，只是為了實驗和體驗看看。

[10:01] Right.
  對。

[10:02] And then maybe that just being a one-off and then whether they're truly struggling with like these substances, like whether they're experiencing addiction and how, um, when you're addicted or experimenting, you can uh...
  然後也許那只是偶爾為之，以及他們是否真的在與這些物質鬥爭，比如他們是否正在經歷成癮，以及如何，嗯，當你上癮或嘗試時，你可以呃……

[10:15] Experience changes in your mood, sleep, appetite, maybe your grades go down, or you have issues with your friends.
  你的情緒、睡眠、食慾可能會發生變化，也許你的成績下降，或者你和朋友之間出現問題。

[10:22] Right.
  對。

[10:22] Yeah, so experimenting meaning they're just trying it out or they're really struggling.
  是的，所以「嘗試」的意思是他們只是在試試看，還是他們真的在掙扎。

[10:28] They actually have an addiction or an issue, right?
  他們實際上是有成癮或問題，對吧？

[10:30] Also, the idea here is, you know, sometimes teens are struggling with bullying at school.
  此外，這裡的概念是，你知道，有時候青少年在學校遭受霸凌。

[10:35] They're struggling with anxiety or depression, and these things can also cause changes in, as Heather was saying, mood, sleep, appetite, school performance, or friendships.
  他們在與焦慮或憂鬱症掙扎，而這些事情也會導致像Heather所說的，情緒、睡眠、食慾、學業表現或人際關係的變化。

[10:47] But, what is the difference, you know?
  但是，你知道，差別在哪裡呢？

[10:50] If they're struggling with these things and it's anxiety or it's being bullied or they're just depressed, and then we're accusing them of using drugs, that can actually make things worse, right?
  如果他們在這些事情上掙扎，而那是焦慮、被霸凌或只是憂鬱，然後我們卻指責他們吸毒，那實際上會讓情況更糟，對吧？

[11:01] So, what is the advice here?
  那麼，這裡的建議是什麼？

[11:03] How do we deal with this?
  我們該如何處理這個問題？

[11:04] Well, the advice here is to bring your child to the pediatrician and have them screened for substance abuse and also mental health concerns because it seems like what our article is saying is that
  嗯，這裡的建議是帶你的孩子去看兒科醫生，讓他們接受藥物濫用以及心理健康問題的篩檢，因為我們文章似乎是在說

[11:16] Sometimes these symptoms can be very similar.
  有時這些症狀可能非常相似。

[11:19] Mhm.
  嗯。

[11:19] So, it could be hard for parents to know what's going on with their kid, especially if their relationship is strained.
  所以，父母可能很難知道孩子發生了什麼事，尤其是如果他們的關係緊張的話。

[11:28] Right.
  對。

[11:30] So, if you see a change in their personality, right?
  所以，如果你看到他們的個性有變化，對吧？

[11:33] You know, maybe they were very happy-go-lucky and then all of a sudden they're very moody and depressed or maybe they're having insomnia, right?
  你知道，也許他們以前很樂天，然後突然變得非常喜怒無常和憂鬱，或者可能失眠，對吧？

[11:42] Or they just don't want to eat or you know, maybe they were getting really great grades and all of a sudden they're failing all their classes or you know, there's a change in their friendships.
  或者他們就是不想吃東西，或者你知道，也許他們以前成績很好，突然之間所有科目都不及格，或者你知道，他們的友誼發生了變化。

[11:51] They start hanging out with different people than they used to hang out with before.
  他們開始和以前不一樣的人混在一起。

[11:54] These could be a sign of substance abuse, but it can also be a sign that they're struggling with mental health issues, okay?
  這些可能是藥物濫用的跡象，但也可能是他們正在與心理健康問題作鬥爭的跡象，好嗎？

[12:08] And you should get the help from a professional to determine the difference, right?
  而且你應該尋求專業人士的幫助來判斷差異，對吧？

[12:13] And it says here another additional benefit to
  這裡還提到另一個額外的好處是

[12:17] Getting a pediatrician involved and what would that be?
  讓兒科醫生參與進來，那會是什麼情況？

[12:20] It says here that teens often feel more comfortable talking to the doctor rather than their parent.
  這裡說青少年通常覺得和醫生交談比和父母交談更自在。

[12:26] Mhm.
  嗯。

[12:29] Why do you think that might be?
  你覺得為什麼會這樣？

[12:29] Sometimes I think as parents, we are too close to the situation.
  有時候我認為，身為父母，我們離情況太近了。

[12:32] Yeah.
  對。

[12:33] We know too much.
  我們知道得太多。

[12:36] So maybe the child needs that outside voice speaking into their lives.
  所以也許孩子需要那個外部的聲音對他們的生命說話。

[12:38] And I I also would go on to say that I think it's important that our children develop relationships with other healthy adults as well.
  而且我也會繼續說，我認為我們的孩子與其他健康的成年人建立關係也很重要。

[12:48] Mentors, spiritual leaders, people who can speak into their lives.
  導師、屬靈領袖、能夠對他們生命說話的人。

[12:53] Because even though we have so much influence over our kids, we're also so close to them that sometimes they might feel a little smothered or controlled to share those things with us.
  因為即使我們對孩子有很大的影響力，我們也離他們太近，以至於有時候他們可能會覺得有點窒息或被控制，而不願意和我們分享那些事情。

[13:02] Yeah, and also depending on the relationship, I think if we haven't established that trust and that safety for our children before where you know, maybe every time they bring something up, we yell at them.
  對，而且取決於關係，我認為如果我們之前沒有為孩子建立那種信任和安全感，你知道，也許每次他們提起什麼，我們就對他們大吼。

[13:13] Every time they bring something up, we scold them, then they're not going to feel safe to be able to be open and honest because
  每次他們提起什麼，我們就責罵他們，那麼他們就不會感到安全，無法敞開和誠實，因為

[13:19] They're worried that we're going to yell at them.
  他們擔心我們會對他們大吼大叫。

[13:22] You know, so maybe they can feel safer talking to another adult.
  你知道，所以也許他們跟另一個大人說話會覺得更安全。

[13:26] But having said that, you know, one thought that just popped into mind is that, you know, as parents, you also need to be wise and wary about who you trust to talk to your kids, right?
  但話雖如此，你知道，我剛剛想到一個想法是，身為父母，你也需要明智且謹慎地選擇你信任誰來跟你的孩子說話，對吧？

[13:40] Because not all doctors, not all professionals have your best interest in mind and, you know, you want to make sure that they're also aligned with your values.
  因為並非所有醫生、所有專業人士都會把你的最佳利益放在心上，而且你知道，你要確保他們也與你的價值觀一致。

[13:50] True.
  沒錯。

[13:51] Right?
  對吧？

[13:53] Especially in today's society where there's so many different opinions, so many different ideas about what is right, what is wrong.
  尤其在現今社會，有這麼多不同的意見、這麼多關於什麼是對、什麼是錯的不同想法。

[14:00] You don't want someone influencing your child in a way that you wouldn't be comfortable with.
  你不希望有人以你不舒服的方式影響你的孩子。

[14:05] Yeah.
  是啊。

[14:06] Yeah.
  是啊。

[14:09] So, you also need to be wise in who you choose to introduce your child to, right?
  所以，你在選擇讓孩子認識誰時也需要明智，對吧？

[14:14] And you need to do your due diligence as well.
  而且你也需要做好你的盡職調查。

[14:17] So, don't just blanketly trust a doctor just because.
  所以，不要只是因為某個原因就盲目信任醫生。

[14:19] They're a doctor, right?
  他們是醫生，對吧？

[14:22] Okay, so one of the most important goals in adolescence is delaying substance use for as long as possible.
  好的，所以青春期最重要的目標之一就是盡可能延緩物質使用。

[14:29] You know, to be honest, I had a little issue with this sentence because it's almost saying that it's inevitable that someone is going to use substances.
  你知道嗎，老實說，我對這句話有點意見，因為它幾乎是在說某人使用物質是無可避免的。

[14:37] The reason this is weird for me is because yesterday our article said most teens don't use drugs or alcohol.
  這讓我觉得奇怪的原因是，昨天我們的文章說大多數青少年不使用毒品或酒精。

[14:46] But now in today's article, uh well, the second part of the same article, uh the writer is saying that delaying substance abuse for as or use as long as possible.
  但現在在今天的文章裡，呃，同一篇文章的第二部分，呃，作者說要盡可能延緩物質濫用或使用。

[14:58] So, it makes it sound like they're assuming that at some point their lives everyone is going to do these things.
  所以，這聽起來像是他們假設在人生的某個時刻每個人都會做這些事。

[15:02] Yeah, and I mean, I can agree with that maybe with alcohol.
  是啊，我的意思是，我可能同意這點，如果是酒精的話。

[15:05] I think at some point most of us do drink wine or some sort of at least to try it.
  我認為在某個時刻，我們大多數人都會喝葡萄酒或某種酒，至少是為了嘗試。

[15:08] Yeah.
  是啊。

[15:10] Right.
  對。

[15:10] Yeah.
  是啊。

[15:12] But, I don't know.
  但是，我不知道。

[15:13] I don't think everybody uses drugs.
  我不認為每個人都使用毒品。

[15:15] Have you ever used I mean, you don't have to answer that.
  你曾經用過嗎？我是說，你不必回答這個。

[15:17] [laughter]
  [笑聲]

[15:17] I can say I have not used drugs.
  我可以說我沒有用過毒品。

[15:19] Right.
  對。

[15:19] Yeah.
  是啊。

[15:19] As far as long as possible.
  盡可能地延緩。

[15:20] I would say not just for as long as possible, just just avoid it, period, right?
  我會說不只是盡可能久，而是完全避免它，對吧？

[15:24] Just don't use it at all, right?
  根本就不要使用它，對吧？

[15:27] But the truth is, the earlier a teen starts using substances, the more likely what would happen?
  但事實是，青少年越早開始使用物質，越可能發生什麼事？

[15:34] Um, the more likely they, you know, develop substance use disorder later in their life.
  嗯，他們越有可能在日後發展成物質使用障礙。

[15:40] So, like they become addicted or dependent on this substance.
  所以，他們就會對這種物質上癮或產生依賴。

[15:43] Yeah.
  是的。

[15:43] And truth is though, it's not just alcohol and it's not just drugs.
  但事實是，這不只是酒精，也不只是毒品。

[15:48] It's now it's even phones.
  現在甚至連手機也是。

[15:50] Right.
  對。

[15:50] Right.
  對。

[15:50] And and the digital, you know, all these electronics, right?
  而且數位產品，你知道的，所有這些電子產品，對吧？

[15:56] And one of the hardest things now as parents is because it seems very innocuous, you're just letting them watch YouTube, right?
  而現在為人父母最困難的事情之一，就是因為它看起來非常無害，你只是讓他們看 YouTube，對吧？

[16:03] But then studies have shown that this can be as addictive as a drug.
  但研究顯示，這可能和毒品一樣容易上癮。

[16:09] It's always very interesting to me how people categorize certain things as better or worse.
  我總是覺得很有趣，人們如何將某些事物歸類為較好或較差。

[16:14] Yeah.
  是的。

[16:14] Yeah, but sometimes they have the same effects.
  是的，但有時候它們有相同的效果。

[16:17] Exactly.
  正是如此。

[16:17] Yeah.
  是的。

[16:17] And social media even, right?
  甚至社群媒體也是，對吧？

[16:20] And that's why
  這就是為什麼

[16:21] More and more countries and societies are putting out laws about, you know, what age can, you know, people start using social media.
  越來越多的國家和社會正在制定法律，關於，你知道的，人們可以從幾歲開始使用社交媒體。

[16:30] Especially if like suicide rates and depression rates are just as linked to social media use as, you know, I don't know the statistics, but you know, as to certain drugs.
  尤其是如果自殺率和憂鬱率與社交媒體使用的關聯程度，就像，你知道的，我不知道統計數據，但你知道的，與某些藥物的關聯一樣。

[16:39] Yeah.
  是的。

[16:42] So, you know, I feel like in today's society, we as parents have a lot more to navigate than just simply substances like drugs and alcohol, right?
  所以，你知道的，我覺得在當今社會，我們作為父母需要應對的遠不止毒品和酒精這類物質，對吧？

[16:51] We also have the phones and we have social media and we have all this stuff that we have to contend with.
  我們還有手機、社交媒體，以及所有這些我們必須應對的東西。

[16:56] So, we need wisdom.
  所以，我們需要智慧。

[16:58] All right, we have one last section for this article.
  好了，這篇文章我們還剩最後一個部分。

[17:00] Let's read it together.
  我們一起來讀吧。

[17:02] [music]
  [音樂]

[17:09] Realistic goals.
  實際的目標。

[17:11] That said, the goal shouldn't be perfection.
  話雖如此，目標不應該是完美。

[17:13] It's protection.
  而是保護。

[17:16] Even if your teen has experimented, you can still make a difference.
  即使你的青少年孩子曾經嘗試過，你仍然可以帶來改變。

[17:19] Be curious.
  保持好奇。

[17:22] And ask questions like, "How might you respond if someone at a party offers you a drink?"
  並提出問題，例如：「如果有人在派對上給你一杯飲料，你會如何回應？」

[17:28] Play to a teen's strengths.
  發揮青少年的優勢。

[17:28] For example, if your teen has an independent streak, tap into that.
  例如，如果你的青少年有獨立傾向，就善加利用這點。

[17:35] You might say, "You've never been someone who follows the crowd.
  你可以說：「你從來不是一個隨波逐流的人。

[17:37] How do you think that could help you make decisions if friends start using drugs or alcohol?"
  你認為這如何能幫助你在朋友開始使用毒品或酒精時做出決定？」

[17:44] The most powerful prevention tool you have is your ongoing relationship with your teen.
  你擁有的最強大預防工具，就是你與青少年持續的關係。

[17:52] Don't worry about giving one perfect lecture.
  不用擔心要給出一場完美的教訓。

[17:55] What matters most is having lots of small conversations over time.
  最重要的是隨著時間進行許多小型對話。

[17:57] Talk during a car ride, while doing dishes, over Sunday family breakfast, or at bedtime.
  在開車途中、洗碗時、週日家庭早餐時或睡前交談。

[18:06] Be curious, be calm, let them know you're always there to talk about anything.
  保持好奇、保持冷靜，讓他們知道你隨時都在，可以談論任何事。

[18:11] Even if your teen has already experimented, it's never too late to help guide them.
  即使你的青少年已經嘗試過，幫助引導他們永遠不嫌晚。

[18:22] All right, so connection more than control.
  好的，所以連結勝於控制。

[18:25] Connection more than control, that is kind of the framework for this article.
  連結勝於控制，這大致上是這篇文章的框架。

[18:30] But, it says here the goal shouldn't be perfection, it's protection.
  但這裡說目標不應該是完美，而是保護。

[18:37] So, perfection versus protection, what are we talking about?
  那麼，完美與保護，我們在談論什麼？

[18:40] Well, I think it has to do with the title here is setting realistic goals.
  嗯，我認為這與這裡的標題「設定現實的目標」有關。

[18:45] Mhm.
  嗯哼。

[18:45] I think sometimes we want to set a goal of perfection on our kids, and of course that's what we have in mind and that's what we should be striving for, but I think just understanding that we as people mess up, make mistakes, so it's only logical that our kids will also do the same thing.
  我認為有時候我們想為孩子設定完美的目標，當然這是我們心中的想法，也是我們應該努力的目標，但我認為只要明白我們作為人會搞砸、會犯錯，那麼我們的孩子也會做同樣的事，這是很合理的。

[19:03] Right.
  對。

[19:04] And to put those guardrails up or at least a safety net to fall back on to protect them when they do mess up.
  並且設置那些護欄，或至少一個安全網，讓他們在搞砸時有依靠，以保護他們。

[19:11] Yeah, yeah.
  對，對。

[19:14] And perfection meaning that oh man, they already they've already tried it.
  而完美意味著，哦天啊，他們已經嘗試過了。

[19:16] They've already used drugs.
  他們已經用過毒品了。

[19:17] It's too late.
  太晚了。

[19:19] Uh and then you just kind of give up.
  呃，然後你就有點放棄了。

[19:21] But the fact is, you know, even if they have, and the article says
  但事實是，你知道，即使他們有，而且文章說

[19:23] Even if they have experimented, you can still make a difference.
  即使他們嘗試過，你仍然可以有所作為。

[19:26] You it's not too late.
  你，這還不算太晚。

[19:28] You can still talk to them, right?
  你仍然可以和他們談談，對吧？

[19:33] And the best way to do that is be curious and ask questions, right?
  而最好的方法就是保持好奇並提出問題，對吧？

[19:36] We talked about some of those questions yesterday, but here's some more questions.
  我們昨天討論了其中一些問題，但這裡還有更多問題。

[19:41] What question does this article say here right now, Heather?
  這篇文章現在這裡說了什麼問題，Heather？

[19:44] How might you respond if someone at a party offers you a drink?
  如果有人在派對上請你喝酒，你會如何回應？

[19:48] Mhm.
  嗯。

[19:48] Yeah, so getting them to think about that, right?
  是的，所以讓他們思考這個問題，對吧？

[19:51] Equipping them and giving them the tools, getting them to think about it ahead of time so that when they're faced with this question, they don't have to make up something on the spot, right?
  裝備他們並給予他們工具，讓他們提前思考，這樣當他們面對這個問題時，就不必當場編造答案，對吧？

[20:04] They can have the question or they have the answer and they have a strategy in mind ahead of time, right?
  他們可以掌握問題或擁有答案，並且提前在心中擬定策略，對吧？

[20:11] And I I like this next advice.
  而且我，我喜歡接下來的這個建議。

[20:11] It says play to a teen's strengths.
  它說要發揮青少年的優勢。

[20:15] What's the example that's giving here?
  這裡給出的例子是什麼？

[20:15] Well, here's an example.
  嗯，這裡有一個例子。

[20:18] If your teen has an independent streak, you can tap into that.
  如果你的青少年有獨立傾向，你可以利用這一點。

[20:23] If you say to them, you know, you don't follow the crowd, so how would
  如果你對他們說，你知道，你不隨波逐流，那麼你會如何

[20:26] that translate into drug or alcohol use?

[20:29] Right.

[20:29] want to be like anyone else anyway, so

[20:31] why would you be making this choice?

[20:33] Yeah, and I think this works because it

[20:35] it strokes their ego a bit, you know, it

[20:36] kind of makes them feel good. And then

[20:38] when when people feel good, then they're

[20:40] more open to open to advice, right? And

[20:44] I think recently I've been learning

[20:46] about, you know, how do you actually

[20:47] develop habits? It's not about the

[20:50] habits. It's actually creating

[20:51] identities.

[20:52] Mhm.

[20:52] Right? So rather than, you know, I need

[20:55] to go and run 10K, like developing the

[20:58] identity of

[20:59] a runner, yeah, right? You know, um

[21:01] rather than being someone that's trying

[21:03] to lose weight, it's I am a person that

[21:07] eats healthy, right? So, having the

[21:09] identity. So, I think this is playing

[21:10] into that, right? You are someone who

[21:13] doesn't follow the crowd. And so, how

[21:16] would you use that as a strength? How

[21:18] would you use that, right? You know,

[21:20] another example might be well, you

[21:25] really like to stay healthy, right? So,

[21:29] how do you think these substances might

[21:31] influence your health?

[21:33] Right? So, what are some of the

[21:35] strengths? And again, this is about

[21:37] connection. It's about you knowing your

[21:39] child, you knowing what they're good at

[21:42] or what their strengths are. Okay? For

[21:45] example, my daughter, she's very much of

[21:47] a leader, right? And she's very much of

[21:49] an influencer. So, you know, what I

[21:51] would maybe say to her is, you know, as

[21:54] a leader, as someone who influences

[21:56] other people and someone who doesn't

[21:58] like to be told what to do, how do you

[22:01] think that could help you make decisions

[22:04] if friends start using drugs or alcohol,

[22:06] right? And playing to her strength in

[22:09] that area. Okay? So, the doctor here

[22:12] gives us the most powerful prevention

[22:16] tool. And what is that?

[22:18] So, the most powerful prevention tool is

[22:20] your ongoing relationship with your

[22:23] teen. So, maintaining that connection

[22:25] with them.

[22:25] Right. And so, it's not about giving

[22:27] that one perfect lecture, right? So,

[22:29] just sitting them down and we're going

[22:31] to have the drug talk right now.

[22:33] checking off a checklist. Like, okay,

[22:34] [laughter] I did it, we're done, don't

[22:36] have to worry about it anymore. That's

[22:38] just not how parenting works.

[22:39] No, no, it's about the ongoing

[22:40] relationship, the connection, as we keep

[22:42] talking about. What matters most, having

[22:44] lots of small conversations over time.

[22:48] And you could do that anywhere, right?

[22:50] What are some examples that are given

[22:52] here?

[22:53] Uh you can talk about it on a car ride,

[22:55] while doing dishes, or over Sunday

[22:58] family breakfast, or even at bedtime.

[23:00] Yeah. The thing is this takes intention,

[23:03] right? Cuz sometimes, I'll be honest as

[23:05] a parent, it's exhausting and so I just

[23:07] want to tune out.

[23:08] Get through the day.

[23:09] Yeah.

[23:10] You know, but like it's like I just want

[23:12] to watch the dish and go to bed or just

[23:13] like I just want to veg or whatever. I

[23:15] just want to rest, you know? But being

[23:17] intentional and having those

[23:19] conversations and you know, it can be

[23:21] hard cuz sometimes when you talk to

[23:23] kids, they give you like the period,

[23:24] right? How's your day? Good.

[23:26] And?

[23:26] And.

[23:28] [laughter]

[23:29] You know, and so like it can be hard to

[23:32] lead a conversation, especially if

[23:33] they're not in the mood to talk, right?

[23:36] like the suggestion here that having

[23:38] these talks during other times rather

[23:41] than just the sit-down on the couch is

[23:44] helpful. Because I think it feels a lot

[23:47] less intimidating to kids. And all of

[23:49] these activities are you building a

[23:51] relationship with your kid. You're on

[23:53] the car, you're in the car anyway.

[23:55] You're doing the dishes, so clearly

[23:57] you're doing chores together. You're

[23:59] sitting down, there's a key, sitting

[24:00] down to breakfast together. Those are

[24:03] the times to talk.

[24:04] Yeah. Yeah. And it says be curious, be

[24:07] calm. I think that is very, very key. I

[24:10] think as parents sometimes we are so

[24:12] much in the teaching mode, so much so so

[24:14] often we're in the the discipline mode

[24:17] or the talking, the lecturing, right?

[24:21] But being curious, asking questions,

[24:24] allowing them to share more rather than

[24:26] you being the one to talk all the time.

[24:29] And being calm, that is a very hard

[24:31] thing for me as a father.

[24:33] Is to be calm because they can really

[24:36] trigger you sometimes.

[24:38] And then let them know you're always

[24:40] there to talk about anything. I think

[24:43] this is very, very key, right? Creating

[24:46] that safe environment and letting them

[24:49] know that no matter what, they can

[24:51] always talk to you and they don't need

[24:53] to be afraid

[24:55] to that that that they're going to get

[24:57] in trouble. Right? But that you're

[24:58] always there to talk. They're always

[25:00] there to listen. And no matter what, you

[25:03] love them. No matter what, you love

[25:06] them. And even if your team has already

[25:09] experimented, it's never too late to

[25:12] help guide them. Right? So, okay,

[25:15] they've tried, but you don't give up on

[25:17] them. Right? You can still talk to them

[25:19] at any time. You can still help to guide

[25:22] them and help them to work through it.

[25:24] And you know, if if if they're beyond

[25:28] your help, then get the professional

[25:30] help that you need. And there's no shame

[25:32] in that. There's no shame in that. Okay?

[25:35] All right. Well, we have talked about a

[25:37] lot. Thank you guys for joining me

[25:40] today. Um and I feel like I've learned a

[25:44] lot and I have a lot of thoughts to

[25:48] process. What about you, Amy?

[25:49] Same. I think it's reminded me how

[25:52] important that relationship is,

[25:54] especially early on. Just creating that

[25:56] environment for my kids where they feel

[25:58] like they can talk to me and make sure

[26:00] that I am communicating with them

[26:03] likewise.

[26:03] Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And Heather,

[26:06] anything that you learned from the past

[26:08] two days?

[26:08] Um I think just going through this

[26:10] article has really helped me reflect on

[26:12] maybe my parents like my experience with

[26:15] my parents and maybe things that have

[26:17] happened in the past and being able to

[26:18] have more empathy for their situation as

[26:21] they navigated being parents.

[26:22] Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And you know, if

[26:25] you are a parent and you're kind of in

[26:28] the midst of it and you're struggling

[26:30] and you don't know what to do, you know,

[26:32] reach out. We'd love to hear from you.

[26:34] Uh we'd love to hear your thoughts on

[26:36] this article. What do you think about

[26:37] this idea of connection more than

[26:40] control? And what are some ideas maybe

[26:42] that you have on how you can facilitate

[26:46] more connection rather than control. All

[26:49] right? And we'd love to hear your

[26:51] opinions on this article and any other

[26:53] article that we have in the magazine.

[26:55] Please don't hesitate to reach out and

[26:58] as always you can check out our teaching

[27:01] on YouTube and different things like

[27:02] that. But until next time, this is

[27:04] Campbell.

[27:05] My name is Anne Marie.

[27:06] And this is Heather.

[27:07] And we will join you again in another

[27:11] article. Take care. Bye-bye.

[27:13] Bye.

[27:13] Bye.